Category: changes

There are a lot of changes in the works around here. Change can be unsettling, but it’s certainly not always bad. For instance, one big change coming up is my older stepdaughter’s high school graduation. It’s bittersweet, realizing she’s not a little girl in overalls and hightop sneakers anymore, but it’s also exciting, watching her prepare to step out on her own and take her future by the hand.

When her older brothers graduated, their father and I told them that before they know it, years will fly by, and they will wonder how they got where they are, if they don’t take charge of their lives and deliberately orchestrate what comes their way. It may seem like they have all the time in the world to figure out where they are headed, but time doesn’t slow down for anyone.

I know people who mark the passing years merely with more and deeper wrinkles, but no additional wisdom, no learning, no positive changes. Time stamps their faces and their bodies to announce its presence, but their minds and hearts remain stagnant.

Drying up from the inside out is not my idea of a life well lived. As we approached the end of my stepdaughter’s senior year, and this significant change in her life, I wondered to myself what changes I need to make, what wheels I needed to start turning so that my life is more than the flip of calendar pages. I have set those changes into motion, some big, some simple, like straying back to cast-aside hobbies or interests that make me happy.

I want to keep learning, growing, discovering new things and experiences. I’m not talking about traveling the world or hanging another degree on my wall. I’m talking about something much more subtle yet more meaningful: I’m talking about making each day count, challenging myself, being willing to fail but also trying again, to be able to say I am living with purpose and love.

My husband and I have grown even closer lately. I make a point to tell him what I love about him, to show him how I feel, and we find refuge in each other, peace and happiness that I treasure. It only makes sense that once I decided to focus on what matters most to me — and he tops that list — it strengthened our relationship and intertwined our hearts even tighter.

That’s the difficulty and the simplicity of it: to blot out the drama, the noise, the distractions, the screaming banshees, things that ultimately don’t matter, and remain focused on what does, what I hold tightly in my heart. Over time, it becomes much easier, until I wonder why I ever wasted so much energy on trivial and petty things and people. All it does is rob my time and energy from my loved ones, and that is not a transaction I am willing to engage in anymore.

As the kids get older and venture into their own futures, I hope they find that ability to hone in on what is important to them, and let the rest fall away. They will be so much happier, more peaceful, both with themselves and in their relationships. It is something they will have to discover and work through themselves, and it will take thought, time, introspection. I hope they decide they are worth the time and realize how precious each day should be.