Category: peace

Soft

I love every word of this. It matches my mood perfectly. I feel reflective, contemplative. I want to ponder the lessons and opportunities presented to me from the past year, but without chastisement, without judging where I think I should be now, and without grand, sweeping vows for the new year.

That’s not to say I don’t have goals for 2026. I certainly do. But this year, something is different. I strive to enter 2026 from a position of peace, with a positive mentality, a focus on love and spirituality and family and simply becoming a better version of me: for me, for my husband, for my stepkids, all my loved ones.

Soft is something I used to actively avoid. I saw it as weak, ineffective. If I was going to do something, then the only way to do it was balls-to-the-wall, full speed ahead, with no room for setbacks or slowing down or flexibility. In hindsight, it shouldn’t be a surprise that that sort of approach has led to a lot of self-doubt, disappointment, frustration, and slipping back into bad habits. It’s not a sustainable mentality.

Usually by this time, I have written down a list of New Year resolutions, and my planner would already be full of next steps, to-do items, tasks to be completed. My need to have everything perfectly organized and planned down to every tiny detail would be in overdrive.

I just feel different this year. I don’t feel like I need to “fix” anything about myself. There are areas I want to improve, sure, but I am done with the attitude that there are things that are wrong that need to be corrected, or that I need to put anything on hold until I achieve a certain goal. I guess I just don’t want to be so hard on myself anymore, simple as that.

So, I am ending 2025 with a softness. Clarity. Peace. Simplicity. Gentle introspection. I want to leave anything that interferes with that where it belongs: far, far behind me.

Pretty Damn Good

I typically skip over quotes like this. I call them rah-rah-girl-power quotes and usually find them annoying, at best. But this one felt personal. This year has been a lot of work, a lot of clean-up, a lot of introspection, and now I am finally reaping the benefits. I look better. I feel better. I am happier.

After facing and conquering some of the emotional hurdles that have held me back since my mom died, I feel so much more gratitude and peace. A lot of people never battle their demons, and they spend the rest of their life paying the price for it. It’s exhausting, but worth it. After climbing that treacherous mountain, well, all of my other goals seems so much more doable now in comparison.

Am I perfect? Hell no. The beauty is, I know that. I accept that. And I am more than okay with that, because I had the honesty and strength to pinpoint, examine, and release the parts of me that had to go, for me to be happier. So, no angel wings here, but I do have a smile, love, a sense of accomplishment, and excitement for my future. I’d say that is doing pretty damn good.

Rest

I haven’t written much on here about anything happening in my life lately. Sometimes it just feels easier to keep things private until I can put them into words better and really explain them.

Nothing bad or difficult, mind you…quite the opposite. It’s just that I don’t believe in gray areas or half-assing anything. When I want to change something, I want to go all in, make a clean sweep, and sometimes that involves completely gutting something, emptying it all out, and starting over from scratch.

It’s left me feeling exhausted but satisfied, like finally climbing to the top of a steep hill and settling down for a moment to take a well-deserved rest, tired but peaceful. I’m not where I want to be just yet, but so much closer than I was at the beginning of the year, and I have no more doubts about my ability to get there. I will. I just want to reflect for a moment, appreciate the distance I have covered and the hurdles I have stumbled over, and look forward to where I am headed.

Then…it’s back to full speed ahead.

Happiest

When the alarm went off this morning, I was nowhere near ready to get out of bed yet. I was comfy, cozy, content, snuggled up in my husband’s arms. I smacked the snooze button about half a dozen more times than I should have, just for the luxurious delight of rolling back over, tucking in close to him again a little bit longer.

I have a co-worker who regales me with dramatic tales of the men in her life. It’s entertaining for sure, but I get tired just listening to her! I have to laugh, because I hear her talk about fancy dinners, huge parties, jealousy issues, arguments, expensive trips, and I know she would think my idea of a perfect evening is boring as hell.

I am happiest just being at home with my husband, no grand plans, simply enjoying each other and talking and laughing. An occasional weekend trip is fun, but we are both always happy to get back home. It makes sense, because we have built our home together over many years, and it’s our sanctuary and peaceful place.

Speaking of that, I am eyeing the clock as I type, because it’s nearing quitting time at work. The weekend is promising to be a rainy one, and that is perfectly fine with me. I won’t turn down a drizzly, peaceful morning, sleeping in, no alarm clock, no particular place to be, the whole day waiting just for the two of us.

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