Month: August 2022

Small

Over the weekend, my husband and I did a little shopping. I wandered through the ladies’ department at one store, and a beautiful, emerald green top caught my eye. I checked the tags and sighed, because they only had XL and Small. The XL would be too large, and lord knows I don’t fit into a Small yet.

But I really liked the top. I kept coming back to it. So I decided to try on a Small, and if it didn’t fit, no big deal, right?

I found a fitting room and pulled the top on, expecting it to snag or get caught or feel like a sausage casing. Instead, it slipped on smoothly. I turned every which way in the mirror, and it wasn’t tight anywhere. I was shocked. The Small fit!

I was so excited that I took a picture of the tag:

The size small fit! Yessssssss!

It probably goes without saying that I most definitely bought that top! I am wearing it at work today, and a co-worker passed by me this morning and said, “You are officially tiny!” It made my day. I am still smiling.

Home Stretch

Lately I have written a lot about change, and there’s a good reason for that. I finally gave up on endless empty talk. I decided that if I am unhappy about something, I must do what I can to improve it. Granted, that can come with many, many false starts, face-plants, detours, and stumbles, but it’s all part of the dance.

Over the last several months, I have made countless changes to my routine and habits, and I have lost over 60 pounds. I am still getting used to my body. When I put my hands on my hips, I marvel at how much smaller they feel. My rings slide off my fingers. I have had to replace nearly all of my clothes. I automatically wander to the plus section, out of habit, before I realize that everything there is several sizes too large now.

My husband likes to lay in bed, slowly stroking my hip, my legs, my shoulders, my back, everywhere. I am sure I feel very different to him, too. He tells me how great I look and feel, then he is quick to remind me that I was beautiful before I lost weight. I know what he means. I did not dislike myself when I was overweight. But I definitely prefer how I look and feel now.

I am less than 10 pounds away from my goal weight, and since so many of you have been here, reading about all of my struggles, commenting when I fell down, encouraging me, then I wanted to make sure I include all of you in this final push in the home stretch. I am still in disbelief that I stuck to it this time and have finally, finally gotten rid of this weight.

I know blogging is a dying art, but thank you to anyone still reading, still writing, still commenting. The support and fellowship are invaluable, and I appreciate all of you! I am looking forward to celebrating the long-awaited finish line with you.

Trapped

I have faults just like everyone else, of course, given that I’m only human. Thankfully, though, I am secure in myself, my relationships, and my life choices. I am happy being who I am, with the ones I love most. I am proud of changes I have made for myself and the contentment that all of it brings me.

Voluntary stagnation is puzzling to me. I don’t understand why anyone would choose to lock themselves in a prison of withering impotence, stuck in the past, eternally revolving their lives around others who are obviously happier without them — refusing to grow, change, or make any meaningful improvements in themselves or their own lives.

Why is self-evolution impossible for certain people? Is marinating in misery and envy really their only option? What keeps them trapped in their own emotional excrement, decaying and rotting like trash?

It’s sad. It’s embarrassing, or at least it should be. I can’t help but feel sorry for them, even though the only one with the power to change it is themselves. I can’t fathom being too weak-willed or so entirely lacking in ambition to even try to move on and become a genuinely better person. Ultimately, I’m glad I don’t understand. Jealousy certainly is a very ugly emotion, and when a person couples it with a refusal to grow, I can only feel contempt.

Fall

Okay, enough summer already. I’m over the heat, the humidity, the sweat, the bugs. I’m aching for fall!

A few stores have slowly started slipping in fall and Halloween items, and I have already bought a few new decorations for the house. You can never have too many Halloween or autumn decorations, right?

As much as I love fall, though, I refuse to start decorating for fall until at least September 1st. It will still be roasting hot here, but I don’t care. It’s going to be colorful leaves and pumpkins all over the place.

Fall has always been my favorite season. None of the others even come close. I love the promise of a new start with a fresh, new school year; leaves changing and dropping and transforming; a coolness sneaking into the air, signaling a shift in season. I love chilly evenings, snuggling under a blanket, finally pulling sweaters and sweatshirts down from the shelf in our closet.

It’s pushing 90 degrees outside today with no hint whatsoever of fall on its way. That’s okay. I know it will be here eventually. In the meantime, I will keep bingeing on fall quotes and pictures, and buying more fall decorations!

Design a site like this with WordPress.com
Get started