My highest weight ever was 210 pounds. I remember seeing pictures of myself at that weight and cringing. I am not terribly tall (okay, I barely broke 5’3″), so extra weight is glaringly obvious on me. Seventy extra pounds? Pretty freakin’ obvious.
Last Saturday, I weighed in at 209.4 pounds. Barely half a pound away from my highest weight ever. It was sobering. And horrifying. And depressing.
I can’t believe I am back to my highest weight. I can’t believe I let myself gain and gain until I look and feel like this again. It’s beyond embarrassing. It’s mortifying.
*Deep breath* Okay, so this is my new starting point. I’m not happy. I hate how I look. I hate how I feel. I’m shocked I let myself get back to this weight, but standing around feeling embarrassed and dumb-founded isn’t going to change anything.
Speaking of change…something needs to change. A lot of somethings need to change. Going through the motions of logging food online and working out when the mood strikes clearly isn’t working for me.
I need to put serious thought to what worked for me before and then make some changes to get back to that. If a paper food diary works better, then screw the smartphone and the fancy website! Back to paper it is. Weekly weigh-ins, blogging more often, no-excuses workouts.
This would be so much easier if I had a less frenzied schedule, but life is what it is, and I need to work around it, because life sure isn’t going to bow down and ask me how it can accommodate me better, right?
Sweat & Sparkle 
(((hugs))) I know exactly how you feel. Try the paper food diary. I have had pretty good luck with it this week. It helps to have it right in front of you.
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(((hugs))) I know exactly how you feel. Try the paper food diary. I have had pretty good luck with it this week. It helps to have it right in front of you.
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You can do it! 🙂
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You can do it! 🙂
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