Wedding’s Over, Now What?

The luncheon for work on Friday went smoothly, and the wedding over the weekend was beautiful, simple, a very nice day.  When the pastor started talking, my fiance (well, husband now) both turned to look at her, and she whispered, “Look at each other,” which made the kids giggle.  I know it meant a lot to my husband for the kids to be there, and it was nice just all being together, enjoying the moment, enjoying the day.

After all the time and energy invested in hunting down my dress, dresses for the girls, and shirts and ties for the guys, all of us were dressed up just long enough for the ceremony and some pictures, then almost immediately started stripping to change back into jeans and t-shirts and get comfy.  We went out to dinner, which was delicious, and I had enough left over for my lunch the next day.

Only problem? I really leaned on and relied on the upcoming wedding to stay focused and disciplined.  Now that it’s over, I feel my focus slipping fast.  I absolutely REFUSE to gain any of this weight back!  But all I want to do is eat.  Start over next week, I deserve a break, let’s celebrate…you name it, the excuse has passed through my head a million times.

I am not finished yet.  I have about 15-20 pounds to go yet to my goal size.  I can’t quit now.  I can’t start backsliding now.  I need to get focused and set a new goal to work toward.  Well, the kids have school open houses near the end of August, which is about 5 weeks away.  I think I will set a goal of being well into the 140’s by the time of the kids’ open houses.  That is at least 7 pounds in 5 weeks, which is totally doable.

I might also start a weight loss challenge on MyFitnessPal, where I used to log my food before I decided to test drive LoseIt.  I have to brainstorm some ideas and see what seems to feel motivating to me.

In the meantime, the kids are still at home for the rest of the week.  I’m still just so happy they were there for our wedding and able to share that with us.  It meant a lot to their father, and it meant a lot to me.

Wedding Mini-Goal: Met!

Saturday’s weigh in was awesome!  I was so excited to see 159.8 on the scale.  Not only have I dipped into the 150’s and said good-bye to the 160’s, I hit my mini-goal of reaching 159 or lower before the wedding…one week early!

And it means that obviously last week’s one-pound loss was nothing to worry about, so I stressed about nothing.  But it pushed me to work really hard with my workouts last week, so at least it served a good purpose.

My stepkids were home for the weekend, and as soon as my older stepdaughter saw me, she told me I look really good.  I was wearing one of the sweaters that haven’t fit for a long, long time, and now that I’m not drowning under clothes that are two sizes too big, my weight loss is more obvious.

Well, the pants I am wearing to work today are too big, but I refuse to buy any new clothes until I reach my goal size.  I’m too close to my goal to waste money on anything else right now.  I have a list of things I need to buy when I reach my goal, and I guess I need to add black cropped dress pants to that list.

My goal is to fit into size 8.  I have a pair of size 8 jeans that I can get into and zip up, but I wouldn’t classify them as fitting just yet.  But close.  I estimate that with the next 10 or 15 pounds lost, I will finally fit into the size 8’s in my closet.  I really don’t know though.  Switching from a goal weight to a goal size means I don’t have a specific number of pounds to count down.  But it’s exciting to think that maybe by the end of August, or early September, I will reach my goal.

Moving onto the Insanity Max workouts seems like a good idea, so I will stick with those this week for my cardio, and alternate with weight training days.  I haven’t gone running in a while, so I’d like to get a few miles in this week too.  It’s going to be a very busy week, with a work event on Friday I am in charge of, and our wedding this weekend.

I still have a feeling that Psycho will do her best to interfere with our wedding, especially since her jealousy is ramped up even farther now by my weight loss.  I don’t have any control over her nonsense, though, and no matter what she decides to spew this week, the wedding will go on as planned.  She can’t stop that, no matter how much she wishes she could.

Weigh-In and Wonder Woman

For some reason, it’s been hard this week for me to let go of that one-pound weight loss last week.  I was so disappointed, and then it left me worried that my body is going to plateau, hold onto every ounce, and I won’t be able to lose any weight from here on out.  Why all the teeth-gnashing and drama?  I’ve tried and failed so many times, for years and years, and now that I have made such good progress, I am terrified that something is going to halt my progress, and I will never get to the finish line.

Okay, even I know it’s not entirely rational.  But the doubt and worry nibbled into my brain, and now I can’t get the buggers out.  I made a few changes this week to shake things up, maybe surprise my body.  I figured after nearly three months of Insanity workouts, it’s possible my body is getting used to them.  So I switched to Insanity Max 30.  Those workouts are shorter but more intense.  I did step aerobics earlier this week, and this morning I did a Les Mills Combat workout, just to toss some different styles of workouts in there.

Last night I was hunting for something to wear to work for today, and I started trying on some sweaters and tops that I have had shoved on the top shelf of my closet forever, untouched, because they haven’t fit for a long, long time.  I was surprised at how many fit now.  Some of them are size medium, which I had no idea I fit into yet!  Not all of the mediums, but most of them, fit me now.  I divided them into a doesn’t-fit-yet pile and fits-now pile, and I was excited to wear one of the sweaters to work today.

I am both excited and nervous for tomorrow morning’s weigh-in.  I really want a good loss to knock these doubts out of my mind.

Oh, some awesome news: in that pile of sweaters that has been collecting dust for lord knows how long, I discovered a long-lost Wonder Woman shirt I completely forgot I had!  I had shoved it into that pile when I gained weight and it no longer fit.  Well, it fits now, and I can’t wait to wear it this weekend!

She’s jumping for joy because my WW shirt fits again!

One Freakin’ Pound?

With two days off last week for the 4th of July, I was worried about staying on track and sticking to my routine.  I decided to use the time off to my advantage and finished longer workouts on Monday and Tuesday.  I kept up my Insanity and weight training workouts the rest of the week, and I confidently stepped onto the scale Saturday morning to bask in my impressive weight drop.

*womp, womp, womp*

I weighed in at 163.6, barely a pound down from last week.  What the hell?  I busted my ass for that? What a rip-off!

Yes, I know, if a friend or fellow blogger had lost a pound and was upset, I would say/type in my most soothing voice/font, “Any loss is a good loss, at least you’re still moving down, it’s never just a pound, great job”, and more of the same. But it’s really hard to swallow, especially after working so hard.

That leaves me with 3.6 pounds to lose in 2 weeks to reach my mini-goal before the wedding.  I know the world won’t collapse if I don’t hit 159 by the wedding, but it would mean a lot to me to see the 150’s and reach the goal I set so long ago.  (It’s not my goal weight, mind you, just a mini-goal).

My fiance said not to let it get to me, but of course I am letting it get to me, with a fierceness.  I keep replaying the week, trying to pinpoint what I did wrong, what I need to do differently this week.

I’m going to shake things up a bit this week, see what happens.  I’ve been doing Insanity workouts for my cardio for over two months, and even though they are crazy intense, maybe my body is used to them.  I’m going to move onto Insanity MAX this week and also add in some variety with my cardio, like HIIT workouts and the step aerobics workout I did this morning.  I will keep tracking my food as usual and aim for 2 pounds gone by the end of the week.

Finally Have a Dress!

Happy belated 4th of July!  The weekend went by so fast.  I was off on Monday and Tuesday, which was great, but lack of a work routine is also a test of my dedication.  I still worked out both days, but what is it about a day off that makes me want to eat all day long?

Yesterday was especially tough.  I caved and asked my fiance if he wanted to go out for lunch, but when we got to the restaurant (a buffet, for goodness sake!  What was I thinking?), I scrambled together every shred of will power I could scrounge and stuck to the salad bar and vegetable sides like green beans.

My weigh in this past Saturday was a good one, down two more pounds.  My goal is to lose at least 5 more pounds before the end of July and hit the 150’s.

Well, I finally have a wedding dress!  The rest of the Plan B dresses were delivered over the weekend, and I was in a flurry of lace and chiffon in my hurry to see how they looked.  The one I was hoping would fit and look good is the one I decided on.  It’s very pretty, with a shorter hem in the front and down to the floor in the back.

So that dress is hanging in the closet, waiting for the big day, and all the rejects are packed up and ready to return today.  Yesterday I tried on the dress with the jewelry and shoes, made sure everything works together.  It’s a relief to have the dress secured and ready to go!  I was getting nervous that I would get married in jeans and my old, grubby college t-shirt, the way it was going with dresses for a while there.

My goal this week is to lose at least 2 more pounds.  I am still doing the Insanity workouts, so I will do one of those tonight and probably add on an abs workout.

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