Ever since I could hold a pencil, writing has been a release for me. I filled countless notebooks, diaries, and now blog pages.
Over time, though, I strayed from being fully open about things like my weight and fitness goals and struggles. I feel like a broken record, and if I am being completely honest, I am also a bit embarrassed by how many times I have started, fallen, started again, landed on my face again, cursed, gave up for a while, started yet again…over and over.
But seriously, isn’t that something that an awful lot of people can relate to? How many people wake up one day, decide to lose some weight, and then do just that, effortlessly, with no struggles or stumbles, and continue on their merry way?
Conversations with some other bloggers this week made me see how silly I have been. There’s nothing to be ashamed of. We can all only support each other, learn from each other, kick each other’s rear ends as needed, and be human together.
After fitting into my goal jeans last month, I faced the anniversary of my mom’s death, experienced a death in my husband’s family, traveled for the funeral, went out of town for another trip, and returned to a dumpster fire of a mess at work. As an emotional eater, I responded the way I always do: eating like my life depends on perpetually munching on something sweet and calorie-laden.
I could do one of two things at this point. I could keep hiding, keep digging myself further into this ditch, and move even further away from my goals. Or I could come here, write about it, connect with others about it, hold myself accountable, and turn it around before I get too far out of hand.
Which one sounds more logical and helpful to you?
So, expect to see more of me here. I miss writing. I miss sharing my story, openly, honestly.
I skipped weigh-in last week, but I am going to bravely face the scale this Saturday morning. I already know it’s going to be a gain, and probably one hell of a whopper of one, too. Oh, fun! But once that number has been recorded, it’s time to turn to the future, not tear myself to pieces for falling down.
Where do I go from here? It’s up to me. It’s important to me that this isn’t all about a number on the scale, though. True change doesn’t happen without a significant shift in thinking, in mindset, in your soul. That requires a lot more work, of course, but it will be worth it. If you are on the same path, let’s do this together.
Sweat & Sparkle 