workouts – Sweat & Sparkle

5K

It had been far too long since I went for a run, so after work yesterday, I laced up my running shoes, braided my hair, and headed to the gym. I was surprised how much I had missed it, even in the short break that I had taken. It felt good to fall into that rhythm, to move, to work up that sweat.

I ended up running just over a 5K distance, then stretched and went home to clean up, change clothes, and treat myself to a new face mask I had just picked up. I have a ridiculous amount of body lotions, face masks, serums, you name it, but what can I say? I love self care, and hey, I deserve it!

Then, at last, my favorite time of the day: time to cuddle up with my husband, relax, chat about anything and everything, unwind from the day, and just enjoy some time to ourselves before heading to bed and closing out the day.

I slept so much better last night. I feel like I am getting my stride back. I am sliding back into my happy routine and am getting excited again about setting goals for myself.

On top of that, we have fun plans for this weekend, our favorite holiday is next week, and this morning was the first noticeably cooler weather of the season…ahhhh! Bye, summer! Don’t hurry back. I have a huge stack of sweaters and sweatshirts just waiting for the chilly days!

Consistency

I saw this quote yesterday evening, and I had to smile, because it was so perfect, especially after what I wrote yesterday:

I groaned at the idea of working out after work yesterday, but then I thought, really? I am not expecting much of myself right now. Am I truly not willing to invest 30 short minutes in myself? Am I really not worth it to me?

When I tried to play a workout online, the video kept stuttering and buffering, pausing and skipping. I was tempted to say, “Well, I tried, didn’t I?” and scrap the whole exercise thing altogether. Instead I switched to another online workout that played just fine, and I got my workout done.

It’s chilly here today, and I want nothing more than to turn off my laptop, grab a blanket, and snuggle up with my husband and get our weekend together started. It will have to wait just a bit, though. I am determined to take care of myself, to start putting myself first, make me a priority. I devote so much time to taking care of everyone and everything around me. Why should I not do the same for myself?

Clean Slate

newbeginning Well…hello there! I’ve made a few changes around here. Actually, I’ve made a lot of changes in general.

I wanted a new start, a clean slate, a blank sheet of a new book. I didn’t want old posts, past victories, or old defeats cluttering up my blog or my mind. From here on out, the weight I have lost or gained in the past does not matter. What matters is what I do today and every day forward. So I removed my old posts and changed up some images, gave my blog a new look. I like it!

I didn’t stop there. Over the weekend, I decided that it’s silly to cling to clothes in styles and sizes I will never wear again. I yanked open my dresser drawers, tugged piles out of the closet. If something hasn’t fit in the past year or so, then I got rid of it. It was a relief. I had items like a pair of pants in a size 5 that I kept because they fit once, years and years ago, so I pressured myself to fit into them again, never mind I no longer have the time (or the desire) to work out twice a day to be that size again.

I guess it sounds like giving up. I don’t feel that way. It was more like getting real. I still intend to lose weight. I just don’t intend to force myself into the restraints of a past self. Quite frankly, at my lowest weight, I was doing some very unhealthy things to be there. Why ever aspire to do that to myself again?

So it was like throwing off chains and shackles to drop those bags of clothes at Goodwill. Let someone else enjoy them! And let me have more room in my closet and dresser!

I got reacquainted with my gym earlier this week, and yesterday I took my stepson’s dog for a nice, long walk. When we got home, the dog lapped up some water, then flopped onto his belly on the cool, wood floor…pretty much what I felt like doing too!

The rest of this week is packed. I will barely see my husband, stepson, or our home. It’s no ideal, but it is what it is. I had resigned myself to no workouts the rest of the week, then stopped and thought, “Why not? Why can’t I walk during my lunch break?”

So that is my plan today: walk at least one mile during my lunch. It’s a time for changes, and one thing that needs to change is my mentality, the way I think about all of this. It’s not punishment. It’s not drudgery. It’s an investment in myself.

I am striving toward having a healthy, balanced attitude toward my weight loss journey this time around. One mile is better than zero miles, and some days, like today, that is all I can expect from myself. And…that’s okay.

Happy Monday

It rained almost the entire weekend here. Sounds like a crappy weekend, right? Nope! I was thrilled. It gave me a perfect excuse to skip yard work. Now, don’t get me wrong: I don’t hate yard work or manual labor. I’m not afraid to get dirty or sweaty. Almost every weekend since we bought our house, I have spent the afternoons in the yard somewhere, pulling weeds, mowing grass, planting flowers, trimming, etc. But I won’t lie and say it wasn’t wonderful to have a break this past weekend.

It was a treat to be snuggled up inside with my husband, and just enjoy the day. We braved the rain one evening and went to dinner with my older stepson, and we ended up just sitting at the table long after we were finished eating, talking and telling stories.

On Sunday, I hated the idea of getting some housework done, but unless little cleaning fairies were going to materialize out of thin air, then I figured it was up to me. As soon as my husband saw me sweeping the floors, he grabbed the mop bucket and started filling it up. We teased each other as we got the cleaning done, and in no time the whole house was swept, mopped, vacuumed, and dusted. Done! Time to relax!

It was hard to get up this morning and get back to the grind. My husband didn’t want me to get out of bed, but my cat had a very different opinion on that, since he wanted his breakfast right NOW. (My cat has joined me on a diet, after his last weigh-in at the vet, so he is not a particularly pleased feline lately).

It’s going to be a busy week, so I sat down with my planner yesterday and scheduled my workouts for the week. I told my husband that one reason it’s been so hard to get back to working out is that I expect myself to leap back into running, Insanity, all the hard-core, intense, all-out workouts. And I’m not ready for that again yet. So this week, as long as I am moving, I don’t care what the workout is!

I was pleasantly surprised when I looked up my Beachbody on Demand account and saw that it doesn’t expire until September. For some reason I thought it expired this month. So I scrolled through and picked out a few workouts that look fun and a bit less intense than Insanity, something to just get me started again, get consistent again.

Hope everyone else had a great weekend too, and happy Monday!

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Comeback and the A

dbbe5cc39915438c71624b7f243ca3fb Seeing the gain on the scale Saturday morning really pissed me off. It sparked a fire under me and lit me up. I have not come this far to fall down now!

Consider me back…100%, firing-on-all-cylinders, full-speed-ahead back!

Last night I did an Insanity Max 30 workout, and I was dripping with sweat by the time I finished. It’s the kind of workout where my stepson likes to inform me that I stink, ha ha. Hell yeah, the sweet smell of hard work and fat cells dying 🙂

I am back to logging my food too. No more assuming I am staying under calories. I want to see it in black and white and stay accountable for what I am eating and drinking.

No more screwing around, no more half-assing, and certainly no more gains. I won’t tolerate it. I am moving forward at top speed and not stopping until I have reached my goal.

More good news, not weight loss related, but important to me: my younger stepdaughter has been struggling in one of her classes, and she has gotten Fs on her last few quizzes. This past weekend, we spent quite a bit of time preparing for her test this week. I explained the lessons, and we reviewed until she seemed comfortable with the material and could answer questions about it easily. Well, she took her test yesterday, and she got an A! I practically jumped up and down when I saw her grade. I knew she could do a lot better than she was.

As happy as I was, I also felt sad. There was nothing magical about my teaching, as much as I’d like to pat myself on the back and pretend I missed my calling as a teacher. It was simply someone taking the time to sit down with her and help her understand the class work. I have no problem at all working with the kids on school work, and I know my husband doesn’t either. He has sat at the table, helping with projects and assignments, as much as he can.

That is the problem. As much as we can is maybe a few days a month, tops. We are not with the kids every night, following up on school work, helping with homework, explaining what isn’t being understood. Unfortunately, neither is anyone else when they are not with us.

Helping my stepdaughter with her school work was not a chore, or drudgery, or punishment. I enjoyed helping her learn and understand, and seeing her 100% on that test made me so proud of her and happy. She worked hard, and she earned every bit of that A.

It makes me sad that other people in the kids’ lives don’t feel the same way. What else could the kids accomplish, dream for, and reach for, if they were encouraged and pushed all the time, not just when they are home with us?

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