wedding – Sweat & Sparkle

Wedding’s Over, Now What?

The luncheon for work on Friday went smoothly, and the wedding over the weekend was beautiful, simple, a very nice day. When the pastor started talking, my fiance (well, husband now) both turned to look at her, and she whispered, “Look at each other,” which made the kids giggle. I know it meant a lot to my husband for the kids to be there, and it was nice just all being together, enjoying the moment, enjoying the day.

After all the time and energy invested in hunting down my dress, dresses for the girls, and shirts and ties for the guys, all of us were dressed up just long enough for the ceremony and some pictures, then almost immediately started stripping to change back into jeans and t-shirts and get comfy. We went out to dinner, which was delicious, and I had enough left over for my lunch the next day.

Only problem? I really leaned on and relied on the upcoming wedding to stay focused and disciplined. Now that it’s over, I feel my focus slipping fast. I absolutely REFUSE to gain any of this weight back! But all I want to do is eat. Start over next week, I deserve a break, let’s celebrate…you name it, the excuse has passed through my head a million times.

I am not finished yet. I have about 15-20 pounds to go yet to my goal size. I can’t quit now. I can’t start backsliding now. I need to get focused and set a new goal to work toward. Well, the kids have school open houses near the end of August, which is about 5 weeks away. I think I will set a goal of being well into the 140’s by the time of the kids’ open houses. That is at least 7 pounds in 5 weeks, which is totally doable.

I might also start a weight loss challenge on MyFitnessPal, where I used to log my food before I decided to test drive LoseIt. I have to brainstorm some ideas and see what seems to feel motivating to me.

In the meantime, the kids are still at home for the rest of the week. I’m still just so happy they were there for our wedding and able to share that with us. It meant a lot to their father, and it meant a lot to me.

One Freakin’ Pound?

With two days off last week for the 4th of July, I was worried about staying on track and sticking to my routine. I decided to use the time off to my advantage and finished longer workouts on Monday and Tuesday. I kept up my Insanity and weight training workouts the rest of the week, and I confidently stepped onto the scale Saturday morning to bask in my impressive weight drop.

*womp, womp, womp*

I weighed in at 163.6, barely a pound down from last week. What the hell? I busted my ass for that? What a rip-off!

Yes, I know, if a friend or fellow blogger had lost a pound and was upset, I would say/type in my most soothing voice/font, “Any loss is a good loss, at least you’re still moving down, it’s never just a pound, great job”, and more of the same. But it’s really hard to swallow, especially after working so hard.

That leaves me with 3.6 pounds to lose in 2 weeks to reach my mini-goal before the wedding. I know the world won’t collapse if I don’t hit 159 by the wedding, but it would mean a lot to me to see the 150’s and reach the goal I set so long ago. (It’s not my goal weight, mind you, just a mini-goal).

My fiance said not to let it get to me, but of course I am letting it get to me, with a fierceness. I keep replaying the week, trying to pinpoint what I did wrong, what I need to do differently this week.

I’m going to shake things up a bit this week, see what happens. I’ve been doing Insanity workouts for my cardio for over two months, and even though they are crazy intense, maybe my body is used to them. I’m going to move onto Insanity MAX this week and also add in some variety with my cardio, like HIIT workouts and the step aerobics workout I did this morning. I will keep tracking my food as usual and aim for 2 pounds gone by the end of the week.

Finally Have a Dress!

Happy belated 4th of July! The weekend went by so fast. I was off on Monday and Tuesday, which was great, but lack of a work routine is also a test of my dedication. I still worked out both days, but what is it about a day off that makes me want to eat all day long?

Yesterday was especially tough. I caved and asked my fiance if he wanted to go out for lunch, but when we got to the restaurant (a buffet, for goodness sake! What was I thinking?), I scrambled together every shred of will power I could scrounge and stuck to the salad bar and vegetable sides like green beans.

My weigh in this past Saturday was a good one, down two more pounds. My goal is to lose at least 5 more pounds before the end of July and hit the 150’s.

Well, I finally have a wedding dress! The rest of the Plan B dresses were delivered over the weekend, and I was in a flurry of lace and chiffon in my hurry to see how they looked. The one I was hoping would fit and look good is the one I decided on. It’s very pretty, with a shorter hem in the front and down to the floor in the back.

So that dress is hanging in the closet, waiting for the big day, and all the rejects are packed up and ready to return today. Yesterday I tried on the dress with the jewelry and shoes, made sure everything works together. It’s a relief to have the dress secured and ready to go! I was getting nervous that I would get married in jeans and my old, grubby college t-shirt, the way it was going with dresses for a while there.

My goal this week is to lose at least 2 more pounds. I am still doing the Insanity workouts, so I will do one of those tonight and probably add on an abs workout.

Lunch and Wedding Dress, Part 2

Right at lunch time yesterday, with no time for planning or looking up the menu online, that consultant showed up at the office and asked where I want to go. I made a suggestion, somewhere I’ve been before, somewhere I feel safe ordering since I sort of know the menu. I don’t know why she asked where I want to go, though, because she proceeded to tell me where she wanted to go.

A steakhouse! I love steak. I’d love to order a steak. A huge steak. And fries. And dessert. And soda.

I kicked myself (figuratively, of course, so I didn’t look ridiculous) and scanned the menu for something diet-friendly while she gushed about having a coupon for a free appetizer and asked if I want bread and butter. Holy crap, did my fiance’s ex slip this woman a twenty to make sure I gain some weight back?

I ordered a caesar salad with chicken and an unsweet tea. I know caesar salad dressing isn’t exactly low-calorie, but I still didn’t expect to see a calorie count of 700 when I went to log my lunch later! Luckily, the dressing had so much pepper in it, it nearly burned a hole in my throat, and I barely ate half the salad.

So I survived the lunch, by the grace of a cook who got pepper-happy (thank you, mystery cook), and I went home after work to try on my dress. I had ordered two sizes, and, with eternal optimism, I tried on the smaller one first. It fit! Actually it’s a bit on the too large side. The color is gorgeous, and it’s very pretty.

When the rest of the Plan B dresses arrive next week, I’ll try them on, figure out my favorite, and hurry up and order any different size I may need. I really like the one that arrived yesterday, but from pictures alone, I am holding out hope for one that hasn’t arrived yet. It’s my favorite, but I’ve never worn anything like it, so I have no idea how it will look on me.

I went ahead and returned the first dress today, the one that left me wanting to cry. I tried it on one more time, and it’s just not the right style for me. I am short, and long and flowy and billowy doesn’t work with my body type. I feel much better now that I actually like one of the dresses, though I am worried if it’s slightly too big now, and I am still losing weight, it will be obviously too big in a few weeks. If the dresses hurry up and get here next week, I will still have time to order a size smaller, but it will be cutting it close.

Sorry for all the wedding dress talk. It’s pretty much all that’s on my mind these days!

50 Pounds!

I was ready to chew on my own arm after last week, temptation around every corner, wanting to eat, eat, eat, but sticking to my guns paid off. I weighed in Saturday morning at 167.0, and I am officially 50 pounds down!

I am thrilled. I have been working very hard, and it’s great to see the results on the scale. On Friday morning, my fiance teased me about the jeans I was wearing to work, and he told me it’s time to buy a smaller size. I hate spending money on clothes (at least until I reach my goal weight), but I found the next size down on sale for $11, SCORE! I went ahead and bought two pairs in one more size down from there. They don’t fit right now, but they will.

On Saturday, I was supposed to receive my wedding dress, but the package was delayed. I didn’t realize the post office still does some Sunday package delivery, and it arrived yesterday. Good thing I ordered two sizes, because if clothing companies could have some consistency in women’s sizes across brands, it would be a flippin’ miracle! The smaller size wouldn’t even zip. The bigger size slipped on easily enough, and I couldn’t tell if I couldn’t zip up the whole way because it was too snug or if it was because the zipper got stuck where the material got thicker in the back of the dress, where the decorations and details are.

Either way, I was so disappointed, I nearly cried. I have been waiting so long to see how I look in this dress, and I guess I built it up in my head to some Cinderella princess moment, and I just didn’t like it. I ended up losing my marbles and deciding I just look like a fat hog in the dress, that I look heavy, that losing 50 pounds didn’t even matter, that I hate it, that the whole world may as well come crashing to a fiery end, blah blah blah.

Yes, I overreacted a bit. The dress is quite pretty. I know I am not at my goal weight yet, and I don’t look thin yet, but I need to try it on again now that I am calmer and don’t have sparkly dust in my eyes and huge expectations that can’t possibly be met.

Just in case, I flexed my credit card muscles today and ordered three more options, all in two sizes so that hopefully one fits okay and makes me happy. I will return all of the ones that don’t work. I just want to be happy with how I look and feel pretty for the wedding.

Four more weeks to go. I aim to lose at least 8 more pounds by then and hit the 150’s. Even if it’s 159.9, I will be ecstatic with that.