hungry

FINALLY Lost Weight

Do you know how long it’s been since I had a good loss at weigh in? I’ve had nothing but gains (or skipped weigh-ins) since July. This past Saturday, I lost 2.8 pounds and was thrilled! Finally!

It was a good weekend. Friday night, before my stepson’s football game, we stopped to eat dinner at a restaurant I really like. I knew weigh in was the next morning, so while everyone else ordered hamburgers and fries and wraps, I got a small side salad and an unsweet tea. When the food was served, I joked, “Mmmmm! Diet food!”

My older stepdaughter asked me why I ordered diet food, and I told her I have gained some weight since the wedding and want to re-lose it. Without hesitation, she told me, “I think you are gorgeous.” How can I not love the kid? Ha ha.

Yesterday I had signed up for Spinning class after work. The closer it got to quitting time, the more convinced I was that I should just cancel class. I was so sleepy and worn out from the weekend. Just as I was about to go ahead and cancel class, I pictured going home, pigging out, and crashing on the couch. Is that what I really wanted? Well, technically, yes, that is exactly what I wanted to do. But as the day ended, did I want to know I accomplished a good workout, or a pig-out?

I went to class and got a great workout. But I am still fighting the urge to snack and eat all day long. What is up with that? Whether I’m hungry or not, all I want to do is eat, snack, nibble, graze, taste. It makes it very difficult to stick to my guns and stay on track. I’m not sure what to do about that.

I’d like to lose at least 2 pounds this week, so I need to stick to my workouts and not give in to these urges to eat everything in sight!

Hangry

Me, yesterday

First, the good news: I weighed in on Saturday and lost 4.4 pounds! Wow! It’s amazing how much impact giving up regular soda has. I was thrilled and am aiming for a 2 pound loss this week.

Yesterday was a struggle and a half. I simply woke up with the overwhelming urge to eat, eat, eat, all day long. Junk food, sweets, candy, and soda, that’s all I wanted! I fought to stick to my Weight Watchers points. During my lunch, I picked up a candy bar, hoping it would kill the cravings. Even at 9 points, I knew I could stay under points if I stayed on track the rest of the day.

Well, that didn’t happen. As soon as I got home, I opened the fridge and munched on some leftovers that I knew would put me over my WW points for the day, but I had been fighting the munchies all day and couldn’t hack it anymore.

It could have been much worse. I stopped there and made myself go work out, an hour-long weight training workout, then logged my food for the evening and made myself stop eating. I tapped into my weekly points by about 10 points, and I am still under my weekly points, but I really try not to use those.

I was disappointed in myself for going over my daily points, but also relieved I slammed on the brakes and exercised too. I could easily have gone off the chain, devoured all the food in the house, and sat on my butt on the couch, but I didn’t. So that’s a step forward. I know yesterday could have been far, far worse!

Today I’m tracking my points very carefully, and I won’t go over my daily points the rest of the week. I still want a good weigh-in on Saturday!

I can already tell it’s going to take an act of God to make it through this week without gaining 50 pounds. I have been unbelievably, insatiably hungry all week. And it’s only Tuesday!

All I want to do is eat. And not delicate lettuce or cute little carrot sticks, either. Bring on the burgers, fries, cake, soda by the gallon, junk food galore!

So far I haven’t given in. Just a few months ago, feeling like this would have ended pretty quickly in going out to eat, or ordering a pizza, or a pit stop at the store to grab junk and soda.

I don’t want to ruin my great loss last week with a gain this week. I’m sick of doing that to myself. It is beyond old. I want to feel success and not destroy it for once.

I am logging my food on MyFitnessPal again (after experimenting with SparkPeople), partly because MFP has the option to notify my friends when I have completed my food diary. It’s available on SP, but it doesn’t prompt my friends in the friend feed that I just finished my food diary. It’s important right now that I feel like someone else is going to read my food diary, for accountability. I don’t want 20 Cokes and enough food for a small army on my food diary if someone else is going to see it!