February 1st already! January was such a hectic month, I blinked and it was gone.
I came to the realization yesterday that I just have too much going on to devote the energy and time to weight loss that I thought I could. Setting weekly goals, or vowing to reach goal weight by a certain date, is just adding more strain and piling on more responsibility that I don’t want or need.
I have so much dumped on me at work right now, it’s positively absurd. My to-do list runs onto a second sheet of paper every day. I am interrupted constantly, and I am astounded at the random things my co-workers ask for my assistance with, everything from an error message on the copy machine to someone’s computer freezing to someone not being able to log into e-mail. A co-worker once told me that happens because I seem to know what I am doing, but how that translates into me being a copy machine technician or an IT expert, I have no idea. All I know is, it gets frustrating when I am incessantly interrupted from things I really need to get done.
Today I wrapped up a major project I’ve been chipping away at for weeks, so I am taking a small break to catch up on my blog and read some others. So…hi!
By the time I leave work, I don’t have the mental or physical energy or motivation to do much else. My husband and my stepson are great with keeping up with chores around the house, so I usually come home to the trash already taken out, floor swept, dinner started. It’s wonderful. But I am wound so tight from being keyed up, in a rush, and under pressure all day long, I don’t know how to unwind once I get home.
So the last few days, my workouts have slid off my evening to-do list. I know I am not doing myself any favors. I need those workouts right now more than ever, for my health and my weight loss and my well-being. But just the thought of trying to fit in a workout set my nerves on edge, and facing one more obligation makes me snarl, bare my claws, and roar “Bite me!” I realized I was chafing under the idea of another deadline, another item on my task list, something else to measure and evaluate and track…
It doesn’t need to be that way. I am removing all expectations of running a half-marathon anytime soon, or any other deadline-focused goals. It just can’t happen right now. I am burning the candle at a million ends, and there isn’t enough of me left to worry about one more damn thing. That is just how it is.
So no more “x pounds a week” goals, or pressure on myself to run a certain number of miles, or reach a certain weight by a certain date. I have one goal for myself: aim for one pound a week. That’s it. I need to cut myself some slack for now.
My fresh, new, blank workout log for February is ready to go, waiting for me to log some workouts. They don’t need to be power-lifting, Olympic-training, all-out workouts. I just need to get moving, a little something each day. I need to make the time for that, and I need to consider it a gift to myself, not just one more thing to get done.
Sweat & Sparkle 