Yesterday I got frustrated enough to decide I really can’t do this alone, and that obviously I need some extra help. I went online and researched everything from Weight Watchers to apps to weight loss programs, and I almost had myself convinced that whatever it took, whatever it cost, I clearly needed to just do it.
I stopped myself this morning for a reality check. Do I really need to pay someone to tell me to eat less and to move more? Do I need to pay a program or app to find out that soda with every meal is likely a bad idea?
Don’t get me wrong. I think Weight Watchers is an awesome program. But if I don’t have time to go to the in-person meetings, and if the in-person accountability is what I truly want, then it doesn’t make any sense for me to shell out that cash for the comfort of feeling like I did something, when really I didn’t, at least not long-term.
I took a deep breath. I had a talk with myself. I’ve done this before. I’m not clueless about what works for me and what doesn’t. I know it’s hard work. But I also know I’ve stuck to it before, and the only reason I’m not right now is because I’m choosing not to. Over and over and over.
I keep bouncing from MyFitnessPal to LoseIt, back and forth. I think LoseIt has better tools, but even with friends on that site, it tends to be pretty quiet, not much feedback. MyFitnessPal seems more active, chatty, supportive. That’s what I need right now. So I set my computer bookmark to have MFP at the top of my screen, put the MFP app on the main screen of my phone, and (*gulp*) opened my food diary so my buddies can see it, in all its shining glory. No more hiding my awful eating!
Part of my problem is feeling almost panicky about the weight gain and wanting to charge all-out, full-speed-ahead from the gate, making all the needed changes at one time, then getting frustrated when I can’t stick to that, feeling like a failure, wondering why I bother, and losing motivation to even try. Enough already.
I need a kinder, gentler approach. So what if I don’t launch straight back into Insanity workouts and hour-long weight training sessions? The world isn’t going to end, and no one is going to die. I’ve gained 20 pounds. I can’t do the same workouts I was doing 20 pounds ago. I need to build back up. Sucks, yes, but the only solution is to lose it again, and for heaven’s sake, not gain it back again!
Sweat & Sparkle 