Month: June 2017

Lunch and Wedding Dress, Part 2

Right at lunch time yesterday, with no time for planning or looking up the menu online, that consultant showed up at the office and asked where I want to go.  I made a suggestion, somewhere I’ve been before, somewhere I feel safe ordering since I sort of know the menu.  I don’t know why she asked where I want to go, though, because she proceeded to tell me where she wanted to go.

A steakhouse!  I love steak.  I’d love to order a steak.  A huge steak.  And fries.  And dessert.  And soda.

I kicked myself (figuratively, of course, so I didn’t look ridiculous) and scanned the menu for something diet-friendly while she gushed about having a coupon for a free appetizer and asked if I want bread and butter.  Holy crap, did my fiance’s ex slip this woman a twenty to make sure I gain some weight back?

I ordered a caesar salad with chicken and an unsweet tea.  I know caesar salad dressing isn’t exactly low-calorie, but I still didn’t expect to see a calorie count of 700 when I went to log my lunch later! Luckily, the dressing had so much pepper in it, it nearly burned a hole in my throat, and I barely ate half the salad.

So I survived the lunch, by the grace of a cook who got pepper-happy (thank you, mystery cook), and I went home after work to try on my dress.  I had ordered two sizes, and, with eternal optimism, I tried on the smaller one first.  It fit!  Actually it’s a bit on the too large side.  The color is gorgeous, and it’s very pretty.

When the rest of the Plan B dresses arrive next week, I’ll try them on, figure out my favorite, and hurry up and order any different size I may need.  I really like the one that arrived yesterday, but from pictures alone, I am holding out hope for one that hasn’t arrived yet.  It’s my favorite, but I’ve never worn anything like it, so I have no idea how it will look on me.

I went ahead and returned the first dress today, the one that left me wanting to cry.  I tried it on one more time, and it’s just not the right style for me.  I am short, and long and flowy and billowy doesn’t work with my body type.  I feel much better now that I actually like one of the dresses, though I am worried if it’s slightly too big now, and I am still losing weight, it will be obviously too big in a few weeks.  If the dresses hurry up and get here next week, I will still have time to order a size smaller, but it will be cutting it close.

Sorry for all the wedding dress talk.  It’s pretty much all that’s on my mind these days!

Compliments and a Challenging Lunch

Yesssss!  A co-worker came into my office this morning, stopped, then asked, “Have you lost weight?”  I said yes, and she said I look different, and that she sees a difference in my face.  She only works part-time, so she isn’t here every day.  It was a great way to start the day.

I am going to lunch today with a consultant for our company, so I am a little nervous about that. We’ve been to lunch before, and she is a burger, fries, and appetizer kind of person.  I don’t know where we are going, or else I’d go online, review the menu and nutrition facts, and select my meal ahead of time.  Well, I just need to stick to my plan and be smart with my choices.  No one is going to hog-tie me, threaten me with weapons of mass destruction, and force-feed me french fries.  It’s up to me how this lunch goes.

I tracked the packages for my Plan B wedding dress options, and one package is scheduled to arrive today.  Wow, that was fast!  The rest should be here next week.

These dresses are sleeveless, so this week I ramped up my weight training and am focusing hard on my arms.  (The first one has lace sleeves.)  Tonight is cardio though, so I’ll be sweating it out to Insanity.

50 Pounds!

I was ready to chew on my own arm after last week, temptation around every corner, wanting to eat, eat, eat, but sticking to my guns paid off.  I weighed in Saturday morning at 167.0, and I am officially 50 pounds down!

I am thrilled.  I have been working very hard, and it’s great to see the results on the scale.  On Friday morning, my fiance teased me about the jeans I was wearing to work, and he told me it’s time to buy a smaller size.  I hate spending money on clothes (at least until I reach my goal weight), but I found the next size down on sale for $11, SCORE!  I went ahead and bought two pairs in one more size down from there.  They don’t fit right now, but they will.

On Saturday, I was supposed to receive my wedding dress, but the package was delayed.  I didn’t realize the post office still does some Sunday package delivery, and it arrived yesterday.  Good thing I ordered two sizes, because if clothing companies could have some consistency in women’s sizes across brands, it would be a flippin’ miracle!  The smaller size wouldn’t even zip.  The bigger size slipped on easily enough, and I couldn’t tell if I couldn’t zip up the whole way because it was too snug or if it was because the zipper got stuck where the material got thicker in the back of the dress, where the decorations and details are.

Either way, I was so disappointed, I nearly cried.  I have been waiting so long to see how I look in this dress, and I guess I built it up in my head to some Cinderella princess moment, and I just didn’t like it.  I ended up losing my marbles and deciding I just look like a fat hog in the dress, that I look heavy, that losing 50 pounds didn’t even matter, that I hate it, that the whole world may as well come crashing to a fiery end, blah blah blah.

Yes, I overreacted a bit.  The dress is quite pretty.  I know I am not at my goal weight yet, and I don’t look thin yet, but I need to try it on again now that I am calmer and don’t have sparkly dust in my eyes and huge expectations that can’t possibly be met.

Just in case, I flexed my credit card muscles today and ordered three more options, all in two sizes so that hopefully one fits okay and makes me happy.  I will return all of the ones that don’t work.  I just want to be happy with how I look and feel pretty for the wedding.

Four more weeks to go.  I aim to lose at least 8 more pounds by then and hit the 150’s. Even if it’s 159.9, I will be ecstatic with that.

Tough Week

This has been an extraordinarily, extremely rough week.  The issue with my fiance’s truck turned into an 8-day drama, and we got fed up and had it picked up from one mechanic and taken to another, who finally did the work and got it done.  We picked it up yesterday, after paying the massive bill.  I joked that we should just start calling his truck the Rolls Royce, given the heaps of money we have put into it.

Usually, being stressed out and aggravated has resulted in me eating like it’s going out of style: fast food, sweets, soda, whatever junk I can get my paws on.  And I’d be lying if I said it didn’t occur to me.  I hate to even admit this, but I ran to the mall the other day to return something, and as I strolled by the food court, I thought about how I was by myself, no one would even know if I stopped to eat something, get some ice cream, pizza, lord knows what else.

I didn’t do it.  But I wanted to.  All this week, I’ve been surrounded by temptation.  We have an unbelievably delectable cake in the work kitchen for a co-worker’s birthday (I had a few bites and made myself stop, but I would love to eat the whole thing), and since the kids are with us this week, my fiance has been cooking a lot.  He’s an excellent cook, but he likes to fry most everything.  It’s delicious, but not particularly diet friendly.  I swear he could open a restaurant selling just his fried mushrooms, which are awesome.  He bought an apple pie, which looks sooooo good, and I have to see it every time I walk into the kitchen.  The kids have snacks like Reese’s Pieces in the cupboard and ice cream in the freezer.

Yesterday I thought my head would explode.  If will power is a muscle, then mine is exhausted!  I have picked here and there (I freely admit I had some fried mushrooms), but so far I haven’t caved.  I haven’t had any pie, or ice cream, and I’ve logged my food every day to keep track of my calories.

I know that if this happened even a few months ago, this week would be a certain weight gain.  A big one. I have worked out every day this week, and I am hoping for a loss on the scale this Saturday.  I’d love to lose 2.2 pounds and officially hit the 50-pound weight loss mark!  This has been a tough week, and whatever loss I have, I certainly earned it.

Wedding Dress

No, that is definitely NOT my dress!

Today was a huge day: last night I took my measurements one last time, and this morning I ordered my wedding dress!  Yep, I had to get it online, because living in a small town means that unless I want my dress to come from Walmart, I didn’t have very many options.  I hope it fits, but even if it doesn’t, I will have time to exchange it for another size or, heaven forbid, find something else (I really hope I don’t have to do that, though!)  I should have the dress next week sometime.  I can’t wait!

I still regret that I got my act together too late to be at goal weight for the wedding, but at least I finally did get started.  I will likely be in the low 160’s by the wedding next month, and then I will have just over 20 pounds to still lose to reach my goal.  I can live with that.  I’ve worked hard to lose this weight, and I’m not going to discount any of my effort or sweat or work.

I like to do things backwards: I bought my jewelry and shoes months ago.  I actually bought both before I had chosen a dress, but I think they will all work together perfectly.  I don’t want anything fussy or anything that needs to be boxed up and tucked in a closet afterward, so the shoes and jewelry are items I can wear again after the wedding.  I just wanted the wedding to be the very first time I wore them.

Of course I’ve been working on wedding plans long before this, but for some reason, ordering the dress made it like “Ahhhh, this shit just got real!”  It’s coming up quickly.  I have five more weeks to lose whatever I’m going to lose before the wedding!

Design a site like this with WordPress.com
Get started