Yesterday I said I wouldn’t say “2017 is MY year”, but guess what? I’m going to say it anyway. So what if I’ve said it before? So what if I’ve failed before?
I like this quote from Thomas Edison. I have found many, many ways that didn’t work for me. Time for me to find what does.
When I joined my gym, a consultation with a personal trainer was included. I met with him last night. Of course we worked out, but the most motivating part was sitting in his office, talking to him and answering his questions. When he asked me how motivated I feel, on a scale of 1 to 10, I told him, “My motivation is high, but so is my discouragement, because I have failed so many times. I can’t get out of my head that I just can’t do this.”
The trainer reminded me of a less hyper, more serious Bob Harper. He put down his pen when I said that and told me that yo-yoing has a lot of negative effects, including psychological. I can’t remember exactly what he said, but I do remember how he looked when he said it, almost leaning across the desk to emphasize that I can do it. I still don’t fully believe it, since it will take some time to shake off this dust and disappointment, but I sure as hell want to try.
I have way too many events coming up this new year to waste time and add one more year to the accumulated time that I’ve been overweight and miles from my goal. My oldest stepson graduates in June, and I will be getting married this year, to name just two! I want to feel good, and definitely look good, especially in the wedding pictures, since we already have a space reserved on the fireplace mantel for our wedding picture. I don’t want to cringe every time I look at it. I want to feel happy and proud and healthy, and look at that picture and know I earned how I look.
I want the kids to be proud of my hard work. I want them to have a strong, fit, healthy female role model in their lives. I should have lost this weight years ago. I don’t put myself down or moan and whine about my weight to them, but naturally they can see that I am overweight and out of shape. Their egg donor makes things worse by blabbing non-stop about her weight, criticizing other women for theirs, and basically making the kids hyper-aware of weight, especially for women. I want to offset that with positive and healthy attitudes and behaviors, neutralize some of that damn negativity.
I’ve waited far too long to lose this weight and the self-consciousness and disappointment that comes along with it. I’m embarrassed that I have let it go this long. There is no excuse for it. But I can start making changes now to ensure that I start moving toward my goals and make 2017 my year, after all.
Sweat & Sparkle 