July 2015 – Page 2 – Sweat & Sparkle

My week started off on a bad note: I came home from work on Monday feeling exhausted and lethargic, and my stomach hurt for some reason. I was planning to work out anyway, but then my boyfriend came home and started talking to me about his day. Of course I don’t mind, because lord knows he listens to me endlessly talk about mine, but the longer I stood still and listened, the less motivated I felt to work out. He suggested taking a rest day, and I admit I didn’t fight the idea very hard.

A rest day is fine, but then I ordered pizza and wings for dinner. And I didn’t eat just one wing, or a few. I devoured a barnyard’s worth of those bad boys. When I entered my meal into my food diary, I was stunned at how many calories I had just consumed.

Tuesday was time to redeem myself, right? I went for a run that evening that turned into limping around and stopping to stretch every five minutes. I gave up on the running part altogether and just walked. I came home discouraged and angry and frustrated. I don’t know what the issue is. Almost instantly, when I try to run outside, I get a deep pain in both shins. And I think I can train for a half marathon? I came home, ripped down my 5K training schedule from the wall, and threw it away.

Finally, Wednesday, I got a great workout in. I have the Les Mills Combat set, and I have never done the hour-long workout. I decided to give it a go last night and hopefully make up for two crappy days. I felt pretty strong, definitely sweating and working hard, for the first 40 minutes, then suddenly hit a wall. I had 20 minutes to go and felt like I was going to die. I really wanted to finish, so I modified what I had to and completed the workout. Booyah!

I definitely earned my shower last night! I was sore almost immediately after the workout, so I knew I’d be feeling it today, and I certainly am. It felt good to finally have a good day.

Once upon a time, a bad day would have been an excuse to write off the entire week, go for broke, pig out, and forget about working out the rest of the week. I may have struggled to get this week started, but I am proud I didn’t let it turn into a week-long binge. I have a long, long way to go, and my weight loss so far isn’t even noticeable, but changes like this in mindset and attitude are crucial to me finally getting to my goal.

My fourth loss in a row! After wasting so much time on the lose a bit, gain a bit more dance, it feels great to see a loss each week. I want to keep feeling this way, so I need to keep working hard.

I get discouraged and almost panicky when I realize how far I have to go and how long I need to keep working. I haven’t even broken out of the 200’s yet (hit 202.8 this morning), and my goal weight is somewhere between 130-140. That is a loooooong way to go. I need to put in the work each day, every day, for weeks, months, probably over a year.

Well, so be it. I did this to myself, and I need to fix it myself. The only way to do that is to stay focused, and to keep working at each day. I can’t let myself get weighed down and frustrated by how much farther I have to go. I need to focus on each day that is in front of me and how I can keep improving.