Sweat & Sparkle

My husband surprised me yesterday evening with dinner out, when I had been expecting to just nibble leftovers at home. He said, “We have the rest of the week to eat leftovers”, and off we went.

As we were leaving the restaurant, a worn-out van was parked near the entrance, and an older gentleman was lying on the ground, trying to remove a flat tire. Without hesitation, my husband pulled up beside the van, yanked out some tools, and offered his help.

I walked over to the van with him, not because I’m super-handy or even remotely useful in most things mechanical, but to watch his back while he was on the ground and keep an eye on his tools next to that busy doorway. An elderly woman who had been riding in the van seemed agitated, so I stood near her and talked with her (okay, mostly listened) to keep her calm and to give the older man, who was clearly already quite annoyed, a break from her chatter.

As she talked, I watched my husband with admiration. He had worked a full day, still had his work clothes on, and here he was, tired, probably wishing he was at home already, but instead he was sprawled in the parking lot beside a van that belonged to two strangers, people who wouldn’t have even known if he had just walked right past. It would have been easy to do nothing. But he didn’t. He stopped to help because, at heart, that is who he is. There aren’t many people who are truly good and loving and caring, but he is certainly one of them.

Turns out, the tire was hopelessly stuck, and it wouldn’t come off, no matter how much they yanked on it. My husband offered to use a mallet to encourage the tire to reconsider, but the man who had been driving the van was fed up with the whole situation by then and decided to have it towed instead. We made sure they had a ride coming for them before we left. My husband kept apologizing to them, but the elderly woman thanked him and told him, “At least you stopped to help.”

I could tell it was bothering him, really eating away at him, even when he said he was fine. After this many years together, he didn’t even have to say anything. I already knew he was beating himself up for not being able to change that tire, even though no one else could get it off, either.

Later, at home, I heard him playing videos on his phone. He was watching tutorials about how to get a stuck tire off of a vehicle. When one of the videos recommended using a mallet or hammer to encourage the tire to come off, my husband mumbled, “I told him I could do that!” He sounded so frustrated.

To him, stopping to help was a given. Not stopping was unthinkable. So to him, not being able to get the tire off, even though the driver had not wanted him to use a hammer or a mallet, was a failure. I know he felt like he had let them down.

I don’t agree. So many people drove by, walked by, didn’t even glance over at the man on the ground beside the tire, or the elderly woman standing beside him, clutching a teddy bear. It wasn’t their problem, so why worry about it?

My husband saw them and instantly wanted to help them, no matter how tired or ready to get home he was. He gives my cynical heart faith in humanity, when so many immediately look the other way. For that, and for so many countless other reasons, I cannot help but adore him.