Category: work

Thankful

The timing of my position change at work is actually pretty awesome. I like that it happened right before Thanksgiving.

I make no secret of the fact that I love Halloween, and I get into decorating for the 4th of July too. Thanksgiving is a much quieter, more mellow holiday. It’s not loud and flamboyant like many other holidays, and that is fitting, because I think it’s a time to do more reflecting and feeling than partying.

It’s still very much a celebration, though. One of the biggest mistakes I see so many people around me making is always wanting more, wanting what someone else has, vying for things instead of experiences and people and living. Joy is drained because they are so focused on image, possessions, imagined status.

I am thankful for my new position, because it means my co-workers respect how hard I work and did not want me to leave. After working so long at a company where I was largely taken for granted, it is still amazing to me to be openly appreciated and valued at work.

I am thankful for my husband and our relationship, especially as I cringingly watch others so close to the kids stumbling through toxic relationships and not seeming to realize (or care) that love and friendship cannot possibly grow in a bed of lies and selfishness. These people will never know what it feels like to be peacefully happy and truly loved, since they refuse to love anyone but themselves. I wish the kids did not have to witness this circus (or be embarrassed by it), but I hope they learn from my husband and me that relationships don’t have to be — and shouldn’t be — a charade or a chore or a joke. I wish for all of them to never settle, never latch onto the nearest person like a leech simply because they can’t tolerate their own company.

I am grateful for the roof over our heads and the home we have built together. Even when we lived in a cramped, rented apartment, we always tried to make it feel like a home. Years later, it is still a wonder to me to pull into the driveway and proudly think “This is OURS.” That will never get old to me.

I am grateful for so much. I am even grateful for the difficult people in my life.

Sometimes the only possible purpose a person can offer to anyone is to serve as an example of what to never be, and the lesson has not been lost on me. I am motivated to be a better person since I have seen, up close and personal, what being miserable, vindictive, jealous, and shockingly self-centered does to a person, inside and out…and what it does to those around them. I don’t want any part of that.

Today is my first day in my new position, and fittingly, we are having a Thanksgiving event outside this afternoon. I am looking forward to it.

I am excited about Thanksgiving, excited my new role at work, already excited to go home and tell my husband about my first day, already planning the weekend in my head.

Happy Thanksgiving! I hope it is a peaceful, happy, loving day and season.

Slaying It

A little over a year ago, I stepped way out of my comfort zone. I catapulted out of it, actually, and couldn’t even see my comfort zone anymore from where I landed. I left a job I had had for over a decade, and I accepted a position that I knew was temporary but would add unbelievable experience to my resume.

I was instantly thrown into the deep end, and I was surprised how quickly I surfaced, swimming, thriving. Hey! I was actually really good at this! I was juggling a million moving parts, but I pulled it all together smoothly and kept it moving and growing. I got a lot of compliments, while a similar program that started at the same time has been struggling and barely surviving under a different director.

Alas, all good things come to an end. Like I said, I knew the job was temporary. When the end date of our program was set in stone, I was sad but not surprised. I updated my resume with my new experience and started sending it out, ready for my next adventure.

I have mentioned a few times that there were some happy changes at work coming down the line, but until something was in writing, I didn’t want to announce it. Nothing moves quickly in a government office, and this was no exception! But last week, after many meetings and discussions, then waiting for the infamously slow approval process, I was finally presented with a formal offer for a permanent position in my current company. I accepted.

I am nervous and excited all at the same time. I have been told that this office has no problem letting temporary staff just leave after a program ends, so I am proud (and relieved) that they decided they would rather keep me around than let me walk away. My new circle of co-workers is excited that I will very soon be joining them, and I am looking forward to learning from them.

Any change, even good ones, can be stressful: stepping into the unknown, not quite sure what to expect, hopeful but also anxious. But if the past year or so has taught me anything, it’s this: this change is going to be exactly what I make of it, and I am perfectly capable of slaying it!

Refuge

Is it Friday yet? This has been a long, stressful week already! Part of my stress is work: staying late, being asked to help people out with projects that, quite honestly, I feel they should have been able to handle on their own. But those projects are finished (for now), so I am taking a quick breather.

The rest of my stress is nothing new: the kids…or more accurately, worrying about the kids.

I wouldn’t worry so much about the kids if I could be reassured they were in good hands when they are not with us, but there is not enough self-deception in the world to make me even begin to believe that. I see so many outrageously horrible decisions being made. I see the kids in an unbelievably toxic environment with so-called adults behaving more like children than the kids do. And, as usual, I see no concern at all for any of it except from me and my husband.

My only comfort is knowing that my husband and I have always tried to teach and equip the kids to rise above the circumstances they have been forced into, and we’ve encouraged them to forge their own paths. All of them are old enough now that if they choose instead to march along right behind the walking personality disorder in their other home, then that is, sadly, now between them and the people who have refused to ever care about the kids and their well-being.

We will always be here for the kids. That will never change. Unfortunately, I don’t believe they will open their eyes until they desperately need sanity, stability, and reality, none of which can be provided by the mentally unstable individuals surrounding them now.

The worst thing I can do is neglect myself. That isn’t going to help anyone, least of all me. I need to take care of myself and be gentle with myself. I just finished a long walk during my lunch break, chatting away with my co-worker. It’s a start, right?

The other morning, when the alarm went off, my cat was tucked close to my side, purring loudly, and my husband had wrapped an arm tightly around me. I felt so safe, content, and peaceful. I was tempted to turn off the alarm and drift back to sleep, because I just didn’t want to get up and leave that cozy, soothing spot.

I am happy that I feel that way with my husband. No matter what is happening, I know he is my home base, my safe place, my refuge. I think an evening with my husband is just what the doctor ordered!

I Choose Happiness

I came across this quote this morning, and I smiled because I felt like I really needed to see it right now:

I don’t want to ever lose sight of all of the positive things in my life for which I am actually very grateful, though I may not say it enough. Nothing that hate-filled people do or say will stop me from appreciating my sidekick, my best buddy, my husband, or all the ways he makes me smile and laugh and feel like the most loved and cherished woman in the world.

I adore our home and our yard, and how we have created and beautifully built all of it together.

I am grateful for the relationship we both have with my older stepson after so many jealous attempts to destroy that bond. We tried so hard to protect him for so many years; now we are helping him heal from deep wounds inflicted by people he should have been able to trust.

Yesterday I received some exciting news at work, and it’s not written in stone just yet, but there are some changes coming down the wire that definitely work in my favor. Let’s just say for now that it is evident my co-workers and supervisors value my hard work. After previously working for a company that basically took my skills and work ethic for granted, it is amazing to be appreciated and given credit for my effort.

Negative people will always be negative. They have nothing else to do and don’t know how else to be. They have nothing positive in their lives except the fake image they fabricate and thrust upon others. Is it any wonder they are reduced to siphoning light and love and happiness from our lives?

I won’t lower myself to being like them. I am better than that. The people I love deserve better than that from me. Whatever others choose, I choose happiness, growth, love, peace, laughter.

Spa Night

I finished a major project at work yesterday morning, so as a reward before diving into the next one, I took a short shopping break. I was definitely in a “I need break” mood, because I ended up picking up a deep conditioning hair mask, a face mask, and a new shampoo to try. (Can you tell I have very long hair?)

I walked with a co-worker during my lunch later that afternoon. Our building is huge, and the hallways are like long, wide roads, so we meet up to walk in the air-conditioning and even have some stairs to pump up our workout.

Later, I was glad we had walked, because I discovered a discrepancy in a report and had to tear files apart to fix it. It took a while, but I found it and fixed it, then closed everything down and finally headed home much later than usual.

Thankfully, my husband had already started dinner, and I walked through the front door to some darn good, tempting smells coming from the kitchen. He loves to cook, so who am I to stand in his way, right?

After dinner, I should have worked out. But every cell in my body loudly protested and stood their ground with resolved conviction. I figured, well, I walked earlier today, so why not have a spa evening?

I spread on a face mask, then fired up a hot, steamy shower, and cracked open the new shampoo, the deep conditioner, body scrub, you name it. I even lit a scented candle. I guess my husband was either curious what on earth I was doing, or drawn to the flickering, candle-lit bathroom, because soon I heard, “Do you have room for one more?”

Come back, it’s not about to get explicit in here, ha ha. It was just nice to melt away the day’s tension, unwind, feel his arms around me, laugh, and make plans for our next date night under the soothing steam. I am so happy I have him to come home to.

I still have a ton to do at work, but I am going to do my best to not work late tomorrow (date night). Oh, and for the record, the deep conditioner is great, and my hair is very soft and fluffy today 🙂 Maybe I will write a review about it!

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