Category: work

Skin Care

I have a co-worker who is in her 30s and who spends a lot of time at my desk, regaling me with tales of her many male suitors, seeking love life advice or just filling me in on her latest adventures. Sometimes I have to ask her to refresh my memory on which fellow she is talking about, and she giggles like I’m senile and have issues remembering, instead of her just having too many gentlemen callers for me to keep up with.

A few days ago, she was at my desk, chattering away, when she suddenly huffed and interrupted her own story to say, “I am almost 20 years younger than you, and I have more wrinkles on my face than you do.” She said it in an accusatory tone, like I was doing something deliberately to affront her.

She ended up asking what I use on my skin, and we got into a whole conversation about skin care. It’s something my mother, from whom I inherited my very fair and easily-sunburned skin, taught me at a young age, and I’m glad I listened. Sunscreen. Sunscreen. Moisturizer. And more sunscreen.

After a long and draining work week, it was a wonderful compliment to hear. I feel tired and worn out, and I know it’s showing on my face, but after her comment, I guess it’s not nearly as bad as I thought.

Still, I will be grateful to leave work today and head home. My husband and I have a busy weekend ahead of us, but it’s still a welcome break from the demands and stressors at work, which have been non-stop this week.

No matter what the weekend brings, I will make time to sit back with a face mask and just relax. Gotta keep impressing these younger co-workers, after all!

The Text

After more than a week off with my husband over Christmas, I was far from ready this morning to get up and head back to work. I thoroughly enjoyed our leisurely mornings, sleeping in, snuggling, starting the day with “What do you want to do today?”

I have been in slow motion today, my mind not really at work at all, and I guess I was not the only one. I had only been at work a few hours when I got this text:

I went outside, and my husband was parked at the curb with the window down. He offered to abduct me from work, and it was quite tempting, but I suppose I should actually get something done today. I will be leaving soon for a few more days off, after all, and we are more than ready to enjoy the hell out of them.

Pictures

I take a lot of pictures anyway, so this isn’t much of a resolution, to be honest. But I like the idea of this, to think about why I am taking the picture and what I love about it.

This morning, heading back to work after a nice, long break, I took this picture:

My husband knows I loves purses and bags (almost as much as I love shoes), and so even though I told him I didn’t need or want anything fancy for Christmas, he got me this tote bag for carrying my work things, and the matching purse. I adore leopard print, so I couldn’t bring myself to fuss at him for spending the money when I love them so much! If I absolutely had to come back to work today, at least carrying my new bags made it a wee bit easier. 

I am actually not terribly interested in designer names or brands, but I know it made my husband happy and proud to be able to treat me to this bag and purse. He smiled and was so proud that they match each other, and he even pointed that out to me, which was sweet. Add in the jewelry he also got me for me, and I felt very spoiled and indulged and beyond lucky.

The Christmas tree is now down, all the lights and sparkle and red-and-green have been packed away, and the alarm clock was back in business this morning. My husband texted me around lunch time and told me that I better not risk overdoing it today, and I should come home immediately. I like the way he thinks!

Baby Shower

I was so nervous on Friday morning, hoping I hadn’t forgotten anything for my friend’s baby shower. I decided to throw it at work, which added an extra layer of complication: trying to bring in presents, stash diapers, and decorate without her seeing any of it!

I decorated the room with help from some co-workers, and I placed the pink diaper bouquet in the center of the table. I was worried it would turn out goofy looking, but so many people asked me where I got it and said it was so cool. We spread out the food, cupcakes, little pastel candies, anything that was colorful and pretty, and arranged all the presents on a table with balloons.

When it was time to start, we asked her to come to the conference room for a quick meeting. I came in the door behind her, and everyone shouted “Surprise!” She actually froze in place, and I thought for a second she was going to cry. Then she smiled from ear to ear, and I showed her to her seat of honor at the head of the table.

When I got a chance, I asked her, “Were you really surprised?” She laughed and said yes, then said she couldn’t believe no one had said a word. I told her how long we had been planning for it, but I didn’t tell her I verged on threatening to break kneecaps if anyone mentioned it to her and ruined the surprise, ha ha.

I was so stressed about every detail, but I was finally able to relax and enjoy myself. As she opened presents, and her eyes lit up and she looked so excited, and everyone simultaneously cooed “Awwwww” at all the little baby items, I was able to smile to myself at how cozy and fun it was.

Everyone was laughing and calling out comments and enjoying themselves. It was such a far cry from the baby shower I attended in December, when everyone looked like they would rather be absolutely anywhere, and doing anything else, than being trapped in that cramped, cluttered room. I’m glad it was nothing like that.

I helped her carry gifts and cases of diapers to her car after the shower, and she was still smiling. She told me later that her mom saw the diaper bouquet and told her to use the diapers from the bouquet last, so they wouldn’t have to take it all apart, because it was so cute. That made me happy.

A co-worker came to my desk this morning to thank me for the baby shower and said that everyone had such a good time. How can you not have a good time, oohing and ahhing over tiny little baby dresses and bibs and fluffy blankets and toys?

Time to actually do some work now, I suppose. Planning a baby shower was a lot more fun though!

Breathe

Life moves on whether you are ready or not, and I went back to work right after my mom’s funeral. I feel like someone playing an unconvincing role of me, and my heart is not in it. How can it be? Losing someone you love is like shattering glass all over the floor, smashing everything to millions of pieces, then being left standing there dumbly, wondering how to put it all back together, slowly realizing that you can’t because huge pieces are missing.

My co-workers have been patient, but my promotion came with a significant pay increase as well as heightened responsibilities. It’s not realistic or fair to expect them to wait for me to leap onto the court and join the team.

Some days, like this past weekend, I am on fire, getting a lot done, crossing items off my list in rapid fire succession. And some days? Some days, it’s all I can do to just breathe. I have no energy or momentum left to do anything else.

I imagine it will be like this for a while yet. I need to take better care of myself, get back to a routine, eat better, drink more water, and lord knows get more sleep. My mom would never let me get away with neglecting myself like this.

I know it will take time, probably a lot of time, to feel even a hint of normal again. But in the meantime, I owe it to myself, and want to honor my mom, by being gentler with myself. More patient with myself. More nurturing of me.

Today I saw the quote “Love me until I’m me again”, and I smiled. Yes, that sums it up perfectly. It’s time to face the world again, step back into life, hold my mom tightly in my heart, and love me until I feel like me again.

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