All I can say this week is “Ugh.” The constant, non-stop, in-my-face temptations have gotten the best of me. All day long at work, there are cookies and sweets in the kitchen, and bowls of candy scattered everywhere. At home, we have leftover birthday cake and a stash of Halloween candy that appears to be magically replenishing itself, because it doesn’t seem to be getting any smaller, no matter how much gets eaten.
I skipped a workout one night earlier this week, convincing myself it was just a rest day after my long run on Sunday. Sure, my body probably really did need a rest, but let’s be real: I took a “rest day” so I could go out for pizza with my husband and stepson. It could have been worse. I stuck to one slice (granted, this place has huge slices), and I got a side salad instead of wings. But I also drank soda instead of unsweet tea and snagged quite a few of my husband’s french fries. So it was far, far from a low-calorie meal.
Add in the damn cookies at work, plus candy at home, and I am barely hanging on this week. All I want to do is eat, eat, eat! I don’t see any way to avoid a gain at this week’s weigh-in, which upsets me. I have consistently lost for months now.
I am not giving up, but I admit I don’t feel at all motivated right now. I keep fighting the evil little voice that is whispering to just give in, leap off that wagon, start over on Monday. But I don’t want a gain on Saturday. And if it’s inevitable, after the damage I have done already, then I at least want to minimize it.
Last night I did an Insanity workout, but I still feel like a bloated, fat pig. I hate feeling this way. I have been doing so well. Why on earth am I doing stupid things that are pushing me away from my goals?
The worst part is that sense of failure, that sliver of doubt creeping back in that maybe I really can’t do this. I need to banish those stupid thoughts right now. Of course I can do this. I’ve accomplished too much over the past few months to give in to thoughts like that.
I figured if I come here and admit how I am feeling, how I have been eating, it will push me to stick to my plan the rest of this week and just maybe squeak out a decent weigh-in! No more candy, no more cookies, and I will work out each day, whether I feel like it or not. I haven’t been working this hard to screw it up now, have I?
Sweat & Sparkle 