Category: sick

The Plague

I managed to get food poisoning a few days ago, and I have been down for the count ever since. Today is my first day with any coherence at all.

My husband stayed home with me yesterday because I had a fever and felt so weak that I couldn’t even walk around for very long without needing to sit down. Either I consumed something particularly ferocious, or getting older means my body can’t fight these things off very well anymore. Either way, it was not a fun experience at all.

I will spare you the grisly details. After the worst was over, I felt so weak and depleted that all I wanted to do was sleep, but my throbbing headache, sore ribs, and rumbling stomach would not allow it. I couldn’t get comfortable, no matter how I sat or laid down, and I kept bouncing restlessly from the couch to the bed. Out of pure exhaustion, I finally collapsed in our bed, alternating between shivering under the quilt and kicking off the covers because I was roasting.

As I drifted in and out of sleep, I felt my husband come in to check on me a few times. His hand on my forehead to feel my fever. A cool washcloth if my temperature was spiking. His fingers stroking my hair comfortingly. Touching my arm to see if I felt cold, and gently pulling the covers up to keep me warm.

I hate being sick. I mean, does anyone enjoy it? Of course not. But even as awful as I felt yesterday, I have to smile as I remember how tenderly my husband cared for me (in between joking that I was just looking for a day off work or was being lazy, because it would be out of character for my husband to not joke about something). He cleaned, fed the cats, handled everything, and took care of me, too.

I am back at work today, though I am not 100% certain I should be yet. I still feel a little shaky and could probably have used another day of rest. My husband has texted me to check in, though, and that really does help me feel better.

After work, I will catch up on a few little things around the house, then I am going to enjoy a long, hot shower and just relax, let my body fight off the rest of this mess. When I am feeling better, I want to make sure my husband knows how much I appreciate him taking care of me and making me feel loved even during the plague!

Starting Now

I can be my own worst enemy at times. After a knee injury and then two very unpleasant rounds of antibiotics sidelined me for about three weeks, I am just now working my way back to any semblance of my routine, and it’s a struggle.

You would think I could muster up some grace for myself, considering the injury and illness were not my fault, and certainly not much fun. Instead, I have allowed my frustration and disappointment to get the best of me. This has pushed my goal deadlines back by several weeks, and my excitement has turned to aggravation, worry that I won’t reach my goals at all, and then heaps and heaps of self-blame and anger.

Yeah, it’s as delightful as it sounds. I tell myself how irrational it is to be mad at myself for something I couldn’t possibly control, but my inner critic is relentless and harsh as hell. The problem is, it’s making it very difficult to get back onto my feet. How do I move forward, when I keep shoving myself back down into the dirt?

Last night, I decided to talk to my husband about it. He is the most honest and straightforward person I know. He doesn’t believe in sugarcoating the truth, and it’s one of the many, many things I love about him. I know that any words of wisdom from him come straight from his heart.

I was glad that I opened up to him. We talked for a good while, and he gave me a healthy dose of tough love mixed with encouragement and compassion, exactly what I needed. He said he didn’t know why I am so tough on myself, but that he wished he could change that, and that he wished he could replace that negative voice in my head with his, telling me how beautiful and strong I am, instead of tearing myself down.

So, starting right now, I am committing to this promise to him, and to myself: that I will stand back up, brush myself off, acknowledge that the setback has slowed me down and delayed the finish line for some of my goals, but that I am absolutely going to move forward again, take good care of myself, and get back to work.

Not tomorrow. Not next week. Now.

For me. For him. For us.

Ulta Package

One of my Valentine’s Day gifts was a gift card for Ulta. Have I mentioned that I love make-up, skin care products, face masks, nail polish, all of that girly stuff? The gift card didn’t last very long, and I happily sorted through my online wish list and placed my order.

I wasn’t expecting my Ulta package until Friday, but I got a notification this morning that it’s out for delivery today. Yay!

After being sick for the past week (sniffling, sneezing, coughing), I am looking forward to testing out new products and colors to feel a bit more alive and a bit less like a sleep-deprived, stuffy zombie. I happened to order when they had a gift with purchase, so bonus, I get to try out a few new items for free, too. If I really adore something, I will review it here and share the love. ♥

Limping and Fishing

If this is true, then I am excessively educated! For almost half a year now, I have been plagued by either illness or injury. It kicked off with bronchitis right around Halloween, a hacking cough that persisted through Thanksgiving, a fun bout of flu over Christmas that I shared with my poor husband, and then a series of endless, odd injuries that have kept me hobbling, limping, and wincing.

Most recently, a clumsy accident left my knee swollen and stiff, and walking has been nearly impossible. I have steady relationships with ice packs and pain relievers, and a compression knee brace is my newest fashion accessory.

This past weekend, though, I felt healed up enough to venture outside with my husband. Yesterday was a beautiful day, and we decided to head out to the lake. Although he loves fishing, I somehow have never tried it, so he set up my new fishing pole and gave me my first lesson.

I admit, I did not expect to like it very much. Toss some bait into the water, then just stand there baking in the sun, sweating, waiting to see if a fish comes along…I didn’t see the point. But after I got the hang of casting my line, I can see how it is actually relaxing: the whir of the fishing line at it feeds out, the soft splash of the bait, then watching the rhythmic motion of the water as you reel the line back in, all the while surrounded by gently waving water, reflecting the puffy clouds and gorgeous blue sky.

I glanced over at my husband as he cast his line, and I could plainly see how much he enjoys fishing. He patiently showed me everything he was doing, talked about bass and bait fish and different kinds of fishing, moving his line easily through the water like he was steering it, and I could tell he was in his element. He was happy.

The first time that I tossed out my line, and it actually sailed out freely, smoothly, like maybe I knew what I was doing, I excitedly turned to see if he had seen it. He was smiling over his shoulder, reeling in his own line but keeping an eye on me, too.

He joked about me having a talent for getting the fishing line in a tangle, but he showed me (more than once…okay, a lot) how to free the line and get back to business. I think he really enjoyed watching me learn a hobby he has loved for years. He kept tentatively asking if I was done and wanted to leave, and he seemed so happy when I would say no, I wasn’t ready to go yet. I wanted to cast again.

I’m not sure why it took us so long to go fishing together. I’m just very glad we did.

Not Dead Yet!

Maybe it’s just wishful thinking, but I just might have one foot climbing out of the coffin today, ha ha. I don’t feel as dizzy or woozy today, and my headache has finally departed. I still feel exhausted and far from the picture of health, and I am still ravenously hungry, but I can stand up without feeling like I am going to collapse, so that’s a start.

This evening I will try out a light workout and see how that goes. This setback is not going to turn itself into a comeback, so I need to start somewhere.

Tomorrow is September 1, and I am so excited! I love the fall, and even though it’s still hot as hell and muggy, September just sounds like fall is right around the corner. September is also the return of college football, which reminds me: I need to buy a new team shirt, because my old one is at least two sizes too big now!

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