Category: relationships

Or…maybe just buy flowers and other gifts, shamelessly lie, and go to great lengths to pretend they are all from a wooing admirer, like Psycho did. Okay, I couldn’t resist. I still can’t believe she thought that preposterous ruse would actually work, or that she is so worried about what other people think that she planned that stunt for over a month.

When you fill your days with lying, manipulating, and using others, it’s not much of surprise that the number of people willing to spend time with you rapidly dwindles. When you are equally as distasteful and undesirable on the inside as you are on the outside, what should you really expect? It’s no one’s fault but hers.

But aside from that pitiable comedy side show, I really like this quote. I don’t believe relationships of any kind can work if you are looking to someone else to bring you happiness, peace, adventure, or anything else that is missing in your life. Planting, tending to, and thriving in your own garden is a non-negotiable step before even attempting to develop or maintain any relationship. No one can make you happy if you are incapable of being truly happy on your own.

If you are an insufferable asshole on your own, guess what? You’re going to be an insufferable asshole in a relationship. Pretty simple concept, but so many people are unwilling to hang out with themselves, really examine themselves, and work on themselves. It’s always a rush to the next relationship to feel vindicated or validated or prove they are attractive, but it’s just immature and selfish to expect someone else to clean up the mess in yourself that you don’t even want to touch yourself.

One reason that my husband and I get along as well as we do and have such a strong marriage is that neither of us is timid about being on our own, doing things on our own, or taking care of ourselves. We would both rather be alone than with someone who is not adding something positive to our lives. We are together because we genuinely want to be with each other, not because we simply can’t stand being single. We want each other in our lives, and that makes a huge difference.

A friend of mine commented recently that my husband and I act like we are still dating, not married. I told her we had to battle like hell to be together, combating a toxic and jealous person who couldn’t stand to see him so happy with someone else. When you have to fight to be together, you appreciate your relationship and your love even more.

So in a way, the bitch did us a favor. While attempting to destroy our love, she only bolstered and solidified it. She helped to forge it in steel and drive us closer together. It’s a bit amusing, really: the only relationship success she has ever experienced is her woefully failed, backfired attempt to sabotage someone else’s.