I couldn’t find a credit for who actually said or wrote this quote, but it instantly reminded me of my husband. I have never considered myself ugly, but I am my own harshest critic. I don’t run enough, I should be able to do this workout, I used to be able to do that, I should do more of this, less of that.
My husband has always stopped me in these whirlwinds of cutting myself down. He has actually gotten offended, and he said, “Don’t talk about the woman I love like that. If I wouldn’t put up with it from anyone else, why should I let you do it?”
When I am fussing about something I haven’t done or feel like I should do, he reminds me of everything I do for him and for the kids. When I feel like I am not reaching a goal fast enough (impatient much?), he is quick to tell me that he adores me just the way I am right now. The most beautiful part is, he truly means it.
I have gotten much better. I have focused on a kinder, gentler mindset with myself. I have a lot on my plate. Sometimes things slip off. It happens. I’m not a superhero. I don’t expect unwavering perfection from anyone else, so I am learning to bestow some of that generosity onto myself.
Of course there are still goals in my sights, things I have not accomplished yet, things I would like to improve. My husband likely believes I haven’t listened to a word he has said, but I have. Why talk to myself worse than I would to even an enemy? What sense does that make?
If one of the kids makes a mistake, I don’t lash into them, call them names, label them a failure, because I love them, and I know they are human. Stumbling is sometimes bad enough. Why punch someone in the mouth for making a mistake?
My husband has said that when he and the kids were shattered, I came along, picked up their pieces, and put them back together again. I have never forgotten that. I consider it one of the highest compliments I have ever received.
I have watched my husband at times, either playing with the kids, or fixing something, or drawing, or telling a story and losing himself in it, when he is in his element, and I have to smile because just watching him be him brings me so much happiness. The quote above is true: the moments when you are truly yourself, are the moments you shine brightest without even trying.
I don’t intend to give up on my goals or stop pushing myself. That would be counterproductive. But I do intend to keep it all in perspective. So I didn’t meet a certain number of miles this week, or drink enough water, or only consumed vegetables if they were served on a pizza (hey, don’t judge!)
I am learning to say, “Yes, but…look at all I did accomplish.” I am learning to evaluate my achievements not just in minutes, pounds, reps, or miles, but in the value I can add to the lives of people around me, people I love and care about: the smiles, laughter, kindness, encouragement, a listening ear, and a helping hand that I can offer, without demanding a favor in return.
The world sure needs a lot more of that, doesn’t it?
Sweat & Sparkle 