off track – Sweat & Sparkle

thanksgiving-funny-pictures-0 A few days off for Thanksgiving was great. Why don’t we skip right to the days off for Christmas and New Year’s and just take the rest of this year off? All those in favor…?

Thanksgiving Day was pretty much perfect. My husband made an awesome meal, not a turkey in sight, since none of us really likes it. Leftovers didn’t last very long. I made homemade whipped cream, which disappeared fast too.

After our meal settled for a while, we went to the park and played basketball (where I performed dismally) and tennis (where I performed even more dismally). My husband won our tennis tournament, but may the record show that he only beat me by one point! Okay, maybe two.

None of us are in any danger of being scouted for the Wimbledon, but it was still a lot of fun. It was the perfect day for it, not too hot, a nice breeze. We got a lot of exercise chasing down tennis balls and running after way-out-of-bounds shots.

I went running the morning of Thanksgiving and am proud to report that I logged 4 miles before coming home to a feast. I haven’t officially started training for that half marathon, but on my to-do list today is contacting the person in charge of that race to see when registration opens, and printing a half marathon training calendar. I am 99.9% certain I am going to go for it.

Lord knows I need it. I have sunk into that holiday mind trap, you know, the whole “Go ahead, enjoy yourself! It’s the holidays! I can start over after the New Year” crap. I’ve eaten enough over the last week to let me hibernate for several winters. I can do a LOT of damage in a month if I don’t snap out of it, so no, there will be no waiting until the New Year to get back on track. Why start the new year with even more weight to lose?

Posts like this one are hard to write. It’s so much easier to come here and share what’s up when I am doing well. When I’m struggling, it’s difficult to admit I can be so incredibly stupid.

We had a great weekend with the kids, and I came to work Monday morning in a good, if a bit sleepy, mood. That didn’t last long. My boss, the little ray of sunshine that she is (read that in a heavily sarcastic tone), slithered into my office and instantly got on my nerves and dumped a heap of work on me. I already have plenty to do, and it would take superhuman powers to get all this done. It irritated me and left me so stressed out and frazzled that I gave in to a total “f*ck it” mentality.

I cancelled my workout class after work. I just didn’t feel up to it. I went out to dinner with my husband, and I indulged in comfort food. We’re talking fried, with gravy, plus dessert. *cringe* I didn’t work out when we got home. I changed into comfy clothes and curled up on the couch.

But at least I got back on track on Tuesday, right?

*cough, cough*

Nope. I didn’t even log my food yesterday. Why bother? I already knew I was way over calories. I did make myself work out though. My butt is sore today from the squats, so the way I am walking today is somewhat comical.

Today I feel like I’m stuck in this rut and can’t find my way back. I’m stuck like quicksand in a very negative mindset and can’t shake it.

I’m disappointed in myself. I don’t know if I can salvage this week and have at least a small loss. I don’t know if I will escape without a gain at this point. I’m upset that I let this garbage get to me this much. I know better, for goodness sake. I really want to lose this weight, but you’d never know it from my choices this week!