Category: nervous

Just Start

Sometimes, you just know when it’s time for a change. That time is today.

I started this blog what feels like a million years ago, as a weight loss and fitness journal. I drifted away from that, and in the process, I lost my support crew of other bloggers making their way along this same road. I decided it was time to rejoin them.

I want to be honest and open here. So I will admit that a huge part of my hesitancy to blog about my weight loss efforts has been insecurity, fear of failure, and not feeling quite sure that I can really do this. I mean, I have been battling my weight for years. Decades. If I was capable of winning this war, wouldn’t I have done it already?

But today I decided to take that chance. Here I am, ladies and gentlemen, with about 55 more pounds to lose, so this isn’t going to be a short or easy journey. It is what it is. I got myself here, and I need to get myself to where I want to be, simple as that.

I am going to start with a small goal today: just work out. Any workout. Anything. I don’t care if it’s five minutes, or if it’s simply skipping back and forth across our living room, as long as I commit to a workout and actually complete it. I can build on that. But in order to progress, I have to take that crucial first step, and that is the focus today: just start. Believe. Take a chance.

Anyone want to get this party started with me?

Nervous

afab5303328b4d2f4a0bb90597baf2f9This past summer, after I started over again and was determined to get into shape once and for all, I started toying with the idea of running a half marathon.  I’ve done the distance unofficially, on my own, a few times, but I want more than a Runkeeper screenshot as a memento of my accomplishment.  I want the medal!

A few months ago, I pulled the trigger and registered for a half marathon.  It was months away, I had plenty of time to train, what could go wrong?

Right around Thanksgiving, I fell victim to the cursed plantar fasciitis, and it ate up at least six weeks of my training.  Even after that, I was running drastically reduced mileage.  I didn’t get back to a normal running schedule until right before the new year.

My half marathon is this weekend.  I’ve been hesitant to write about it, and I admit it’s because I figured, well, if I bomb, if I can’t finish, then at least I never mentioned it, and we will just never talk about it again!

My only goal is to finish.  I won’t be smashing any records, qualifying for the Olympics, waving to you majestically from the podium, or making the cover of Runner’s World.  That’s okay.  All I want to do is cross the finish line (preferably running and not crawling or moaning or whimpering) and get my medal!

Ideally, I would not have missed over six weeks of training.  I would have been able to do more hill training and speed training.  But I covered the half marathon distance just a few weeks ago, so I know I can do it if I stick to my training.  Go out easy, watch my pace, don’t get caught up in the rush and adrenaline of the crowd.  Make it my run, my way.  And make it to the finish line.

Now it’s supposed to be raining that morning, and I thoroughly, intensely hate running in the rain.  I refuse to not do this, though, because of some water.  This is something I have wanted to do for years, but I left self-doubt stop me from trying.  Not this time.  Rain, snow, sleet, hail, or anything else falling from the sky, so be it…I will be at the starting line!

Me, running 🙂

 

Nervous about Weigh-In

The word Everything on a To-Do list on a dry erase board to remiI am nervous about my weigh-in tomorrow.  After losing 4 pounds last week, I know any loss this week will be very small, but I just don’t feel like I’ve lost anything.  Ever have one of those weeks where you really aren’t doing anything wrong, but you just feel like you may have gained anyway?

It’s been a busy, stressful, hectic week, and that sure doesn’t help.  I should have gotten up early for a morning workout today, but when the alarm went off, it was downright painful to open my eyes.  I reset the alarm, snuggled back up with my husband, and went back to sleep.

I have plans during my lunch today, so it’s not likely I will be able to squeeze in even a mini-workout then, and if the weather feels generous, we will be heading to a football game this evening.  (Right now, the weather forecast is “You will get soaked at this game”, so I hope that changes!)

It’s been very difficult to not stress-eat this week, and the temptation has been overwhelming.  I haven’t had time to do as many workouts as I would have liked, but I stopped myself from comfort eating and throwing all my hard work out the window like an idiot.

I am looking forward to the end of this work day, hopefully catching a football game with my husband, and then a 3-day weekend with him and my stepson.  I definitely need time to recharge my batteries!  Hopefully the scale is kind to me tomorrow morning and remembers I have had a long week, but if not, then so be it.  I will move on to a better week.

Nervous

A glittery butterfly, just because I love butterflies…and things that sparkle!

I’m actually nervous for my weigh-in tomorrow morning.  I’ve worked hard this week: I’ve exercised each day, logged my food too.  I’ve resisted sweet snacks, eating out, extra servings of soda, and even my jokester fiance’s offer of ordering pizza one evening as soon as I returned home, sweaty and triumpant, from the gym.  (He laughed at the killer look I shot him, then told me he was only kidding. Har har!)

I really hope it all pays off.  It will be very discouraging if it doesn’t.  After months and months of spinning my wheels, I finally caught some traction and hopefully made some progress this week.

Maybe it’s just wishful thinking, but I could have sworn the pants I am wearing today felt looser in the waist when I put them on.  I’ve only lost 3 pounds so far, so I doubt that’s really made a significant difference in the way my clothes fit just yet, but either way, it felt good to wonder if they are looser, rather than groan about them being uncomfortably tight!

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