mindset – Sweat & Sparkle

Let’s Take a Break!

Blame it on the most wonderful, beautiful time of year being right around the corner (fall!) Or blame it on me just being in a seriously good mood today. But I simply can’t concentrate at work today, so I am taking a break to do anything but concentrate on work. Take a break with me, you lawless rebel!

I have so much bouncing around in my head. I adore fall and then all the holiday seasons, so I have started checking out some festivals and events for the rest of the year, and jotting them down on my calendar so I don’t overbook us like I have done in the past (sorry, Husband Guy). I want to strike a balance between quiet, cozy time at home but celebrating all the seasons too.

I also have Christmas shopping on my mind. I start very early, over the summer, so a lot of my shopping is finished already, but I don’t have much for my husband yet. I have some ideas scribbled down, though, and I will pay attention to things he looks at while we are shopping or things that he mentions between now and Christmas.

One of the most rewarding personal changes for me this year has been shifting my mindset to stay laser-focused on what really matters to me: my husband, my home, the kids, my peace, our happiness. I have a limited number of days on Earth and don’t want to waste a single moment on anything or anyone that does not add value, peace, or joy to my life. It’s amazing how much more you can get done, and how much happier you can be, when you slam the door on all the rubbish and leave it outside to be miserable on its own.

Well, there are about 140 days left in this year. Sure, the larger part of this year is behind us, but there are 19 weeks and 6 days stretched out ahead of us. What do you intend to do with them?

Setback

Sometimes life is not exactly cooperative. When I hurt my knee recently, I thought, okay, well, this sucks, but it will heal up. I will take it slower, limp around, and do what I need to do to take care of it.

Just as my knee finally loosened up, and I could walk semi-normally again, I ended up rushing from work to Urgent Care because I didn’t feel good at all. I left with a prescription for antibiotics, which upset my stomach so bad. I just want to curl in a ball and whimper, but alas, I’m at work instead, waiting for quitting time.

I’m excited for some things we have planned next week, so my focus this weekend will be resting and healing so I can be as close to 100% as possible and able to enjoy myself next week. I’m frustrated but also know that a bad attitude will multiply any problems and make things worse.

I’ve made a lot of positive changes and don’t want to slide back into any bad habits. Ultimately, though, that is completely up to me and in my control. I can let these setbacks toss me onto my butt and leave me there, or I can take a breather, remind myself of my goals, and get myself back to healthy so I can come back kicking.

Can’t Get Inside

Setback

For almost 3 weeks, I have been pretty sick. What started out as what seemed like a common cold, but then mutated into the damn plague, has refused to release its grip on me, and I am definitely bearing the scars of prolonged illness: weak, tired, black circles under my eyes, all the glamorous markings of just not feeling well for a long time.

Fatigue has been the worst part. I have spent weeks feeling like all the energy has been drained out of my body. Ironically, it has been paired with intense hunger, probably because my body is desperate for fuel to fight this off.

The end result, besides a dire need for a facial, a manicure, and a month of sleep? Well, workouts have been impossible, and I am constantly hungry, so when I finally braved the scale this past weekend, I was not exactly shocked to see a weight gain. Instead of being 7 pounds from my goal weight, I am now 15 pounds from my goal instead.

Not surprising, but still disappointing and frustrating. Of course I know the extra 8 pounds are not solid fat, but more than likely water weight from cold medicines, cough syrup, drinking more because I’m always thirsty, and devouring everything in sight. All of my clothes still fit properly, so that is at least reassuring.

Enough is enough, though. I’m not going to wait until I have gained back even more weight. I worked way too hard to lose this weight. I will NOT just stuff my face and gain it back.

I felt slightly less dead yesterday and got hopeful that I was on the upswing, but today I have a stubborn headache that won’t leave me alone, and I feel run down and woozy. So this icky plague isn’t quite done with me yet.

It’s not fun to come here to report a weight gain, but life happens. This is reality. Things get in the way, and obstacles spring up and trip us up and lay us out. It all comes down to how we respond. The ball is in my court: which way is this going to go? It’s up to me. I can let this derail me and feel sorry for myself and make it even worse, or I can sit and rest for a minute, catch my breath, make a plan, and get back on my feet and move forward again.

Beautiful

I couldn’t find a credit for who actually said or wrote this quote, but it instantly reminded me of my husband. I have never considered myself ugly, but I am my own harshest critic. I don’t run enough, I should be able to do this workout, I used to be able to do that, I should do more of this, less of that.

My husband has always stopped me in these whirlwinds of cutting myself down. He has actually gotten offended, and he said, “Don’t talk about the woman I love like that. If I wouldn’t put up with it from anyone else, why should I let you do it?”

When I am fussing about something I haven’t done or feel like I should do, he reminds me of everything I do for him and for the kids. When I feel like I am not reaching a goal fast enough (impatient much?), he is quick to tell me that he adores me just the way I am right now. The most beautiful part is, he truly means it.

I have gotten much better. I have focused on a kinder, gentler mindset with myself. I have a lot on my plate. Sometimes things slip off. It happens. I’m not a superhero. I don’t expect unwavering perfection from anyone else, so I am learning to bestow some of that generosity onto myself.

Of course there are still goals in my sights, things I have not accomplished yet, things I would like to improve. My husband likely believes I haven’t listened to a word he has said, but I have. Why talk to myself worse than I would to even an enemy? What sense does that make?

If one of the kids makes a mistake, I don’t lash into them, call them names, label them a failure, because I love them, and I know they are human. Stumbling is sometimes bad enough. Why punch someone in the mouth for making a mistake?

My husband has said that when he and the kids were shattered, I came along, picked up their pieces, and put them back together again. I have never forgotten that. I consider it one of the highest compliments I have ever received.

I have watched my husband at times, either playing with the kids, or fixing something, or drawing, or telling a story and losing himself in it, when he is in his element, and I have to smile because just watching him be him brings me so much happiness. The quote above is true: the moments when you are truly yourself, are the moments you shine brightest without even trying.

I don’t intend to give up on my goals or stop pushing myself. That would be counterproductive. But I do intend to keep it all in perspective. So I didn’t meet a certain number of miles this week, or drink enough water, or only consumed vegetables if they were served on a pizza (hey, don’t judge!)

I am learning to say, “Yes, but…look at all I did accomplish.” I am learning to evaluate my achievements not just in minutes, pounds, reps, or miles, but in the value I can add to the lives of people around me, people I love and care about: the smiles, laughter, kindness, encouragement, a listening ear, and a helping hand that I can offer, without demanding a favor in return.

The world sure needs a lot more of that, doesn’t it?