Review: Jillian Michaels Cardio Kickboxing

Almost a week ago, I mentioned I had tried a new workout, said I would write a review of it…then almost immediately forgot all about it.  It’s called “getting old”, though I prefer to think of it as “delightfully scatter-brained”.

The workout I tried was Jillian Michaels’ Cardio Kickboxing:

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I’m not a huge fan of Jillian Michaels, but I came across this workout online for free, saw it was about 25 minutes long, and figured, what the heck?  Why not give it a try?

JM

Right off the bat, I started wondering what Jillian Michaels had to drink, smoke, or otherwise consume before this workout.  She is very giggly, silly, and loopy, to the point it gets a bit annoying.  Barely 30 seconds into the intro, she bleats into snorting horse laughter for no apparent reason.  It all comes off as a bit forced and fake.

The workout is basic choreography, no complicated steps, and moves along in a drill format: for example, 30 seconds of this move, 20 reps of that, repeat a few times, move on.  There’s nothing wild and crazy here, simple punches and kicks, cardio moves like knees to elbows, but very little information and guidance about form, so if you don’t already know how to throw a punch or execute a side kick, it might be better to start elsewhere.

The workout got my heart rate up, and I was lightly sweating, but I had no issues keeping up.  (Given my fitness level these days, which is something close to zero, that means it isn’t a very intimidating workout at all).  I would label it as barely intermediate, not quite beginner, but definitely not advanced either.

I would do this workout again if I can still find it for free online, but I doubt I would spend anything on it to own it on DVD.  It’s an old workout, nothing spectacular, and more than a little on the odd side.  But if you want a quick workout that’s not on the gasping-and-wheezing level of intensity, it’s worth a shot.

https://ok.ru/video/31706712722

Kickboxing

Most people don’t know that many moons ago, in another lifetime, in a galaxy far, far away, I used to be in kick-butt shape.  During college I got hooked on judo, and that led to karate and then kickboxing classes years later at a martial arts studio.

When my kickboxing instructor got injured and couldn’t teach anymore, I couldn’t find another teacher like him, so I gave it up.  That was at least 10-15 years ago.  I’ve been struggling ever since to find a workout that I love anywhere near as much.

I got bored quickly with running, but I kept trying to force myself to do it anyway.  Finally I decided it was time to get back to what I loved to do.  These days, martial arts classes are pretty expensive, so I found a reasonably priced cardio kickboxing class, clicked on the link for their online registration…and hesitated.

I’m not ready for this! I was practically screaming at myself to just back away from the computer.  I am nowhere near the shape I was in when I took kickboxing classes.  I am overweight.  I am out of shape.  I told myself to wait until the next session of classes starts in August, and use this time to get into a little better shape first.

But even as I thought it, I knew what would happen.  Between now and August, I would promise myself I’d get into better shape, then I wouldn’t do it.  August would show up with me even heavier and in even worse shape.  Nope, not giving myself the chance to do that.  I registered for class.

The first class was last night.  Right after the warm-up, we hit the floor for 60 push-ups.  I knew I was deeply, hopelessly, and horrifically in trouble.

We ran.  We did push-ups.  And more push-ups.  We punched with weights.  We did movements and activities I believe are used to torture people for information.  I was gasping for breath and sweating so bad, it was running into my eyes.

At some point, when I was near death and contemplating stumbling to the front desk to beg them to call 911, the kickboxing instructor bounded over to me like a hyperactive Tigger and asked, “How are you doing?”

I wanted to punch her in the face. When I could actually draw enough air into my battered lungs, I said, “Really?”

She laughed, gave me a thumbs-up, and said “You’re doing great!” before zipping off to lead the next round of agony.

I was a bit disappointed it’s more of a boot camp than kickboxing.  Yeah, there were rounds of punching and kicking, but after having serious teachers like I’ve had in the past, I cringed at the lack of instruction about proper form.  (Kicking with bad form will kill your knees).  I was sweaty, worn out, and drained, so it was a great workout, but I was hoping for more kicking and punching than running laps and doing push-ups.  Well, it’s not like the classes I used to take, but it sure beats doing nothing, so I’m still glad I signed up.

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