joke

What better day to post this than on the exclusive day set aside specifically for fools, clowns, and walking jokes? For some people, every day is April Fool’s Day! They spin lie after preposterous lie, hoping desperately that everyone believes them or at least pretends to, so they don’t have to face how comically pathetic they are.

I could not live knowing that everything I have is due to the pity of others who believe I cannot handle anything on my own. It should be devastatingly embarrassing to be about as capable of adult functioning as a tree stump.

Today, in honor of April Fool’s Day, we will indulgently pat such folks on their vapid little heads. We will give them the placating, approving thumbs-up they so impotently seek. We will graciously pretend that they actually belong at the adult table instead of tottering helplessly on their training potty with feet a-swinging, waiting for the next handout.

Tomorrow, we will return to reality, while they vacuously prance their way through their fabulous fantasy world, pretending that we actually believe they accomplish anything for themselves, while others, including their own children, tirelessly pull double duty to maintain the façade.

Here’s to you, fools! Enjoy your special day. Will it really feel much different, though, if every day of your life is a pitiable joke?

Joke

On a lighter note: I came across this today and laughed when I read it:

That sums things up quite nicely, I’d say! Okay, maybe the mental breakdown part is an exaggeration, but the exhausted part is spot on. I have not been sleeping well at all, and the dark circles under my eyes are evidence of that.

But I woke up with my husband’s arms around me, and with my cat patiently and meekly awaiting his breakfast (and by that, I mean, vigorously headbutting me and poking his fuzzy face into mine to check if I am aware of his state of hunger). I wouldn’t have it any other way, and I am ready to have a good day today.

Feeling It

It’s so quiet in blogland lately! You would think there was a major holiday coming up or something 🙂

Yesterday I gave myself an early gift: I signed up for a 7-day free trial of LoseIt Premium. I decided that since I have so little free time, I need to make my workouts count when I have time for them, and I need to really focus on what I am eating. Like it or not, I need to get back to serious calorie-tracking. I want to see what other features are offered with Premium and whether they are worth paying the fee for an annual membership.

I went to the gym yesterday, and I ran on the treadmill for a bit, then switched over to the elliptical. I won’t have time for much today, but I will make sure I fit in at least 15 minutes of walking during my lunch.

After my workout last night, I pampered myself with a face mask, a long, hot shower with a body scrub, then painted my nails in Christmas colors. I guess it doesn’t sound like much, but just taking that time for myself and focusing on me for just a little while was luxurious.

This morning, I opened my calendar, then signed up for a Spinning class later this week. I was tempted to sign up for an early morning class, but I figured, hey, let’s not get carried away and all overly-ambitious, shall we? Maybe someday I will feel up to morning workouts. Hell, it would make sense on my jam-packed, long days to work out before work, then have my lunch break all to myself. But it’s so hard to get out of bed when I know it’s my only time that day to snuggle with my husband, and that I won’t see him again until that night.

For now, I have my workouts scheduled for the week, and I am back to logging my food. Maybe the week of Christmas wasn’t the most ideal time to decide to get back to it, but if I am feeling it, then I am going to run with it!

I leave you with this important, research-based diet tip: diet-tip-bacon-is-healthier-than-cocaine-sarcasm-only-⠀-3456832