I can do this – Sweat & Sparkle

Sometimes, you just know when it’s time for a change. That time is today.

I started this blog what feels like a million years ago, as a weight loss and fitness journal. I drifted away from that, and in the process, I lost my support crew of other bloggers making their way along this same road. I decided it was time to rejoin them.

I want to be honest and open here. So I will admit that a huge part of my hesitancy to blog about my weight loss efforts has been insecurity, fear of failure, and not feeling quite sure that I can really do this. I mean, I have been battling my weight for years. Decades. If I was capable of winning this war, wouldn’t I have done it already?

But today I decided to take that chance. Here I am, ladies and gentlemen, with about 55 more pounds to lose, so this isn’t going to be a short or easy journey. It is what it is. I got myself here, and I need to get myself to where I want to be, simple as that.

I am going to start with a small goal today: just work out. Any workout. Anything. I don’t care if it’s five minutes, or if it’s simply skipping back and forth across our living room, as long as I commit to a workout and actually complete it. I can build on that. But in order to progress, I have to take that crucial first step, and that is the focus today: just start. Believe. Take a chance.

Anyone want to get this party started with me?

For almost 3 weeks, I have been pretty sick. What started out as what seemed like a common cold, but then mutated into the damn plague, has refused to release its grip on me, and I am definitely bearing the scars of prolonged illness: weak, tired, black circles under my eyes, all the glamorous markings of just not feeling well for a long time.

Fatigue has been the worst part. I have spent weeks feeling like all the energy has been drained out of my body. Ironically, it has been paired with intense hunger, probably because my body is desperate for fuel to fight this off.

The end result, besides a dire need for a facial, a manicure, and a month of sleep? Well, workouts have been impossible, and I am constantly hungry, so when I finally braved the scale this past weekend, I was not exactly shocked to see a weight gain. Instead of being 7 pounds from my goal weight, I am now 15 pounds from my goal instead.

Not surprising, but still disappointing and frustrating. Of course I know the extra 8 pounds are not solid fat, but more than likely water weight from cold medicines, cough syrup, drinking more because I’m always thirsty, and devouring everything in sight. All of my clothes still fit properly, so that is at least reassuring.

Enough is enough, though. I’m not going to wait until I have gained back even more weight. I worked way too hard to lose this weight. I will NOT just stuff my face and gain it back.

I felt slightly less dead yesterday and got hopeful that I was on the upswing, but today I have a stubborn headache that won’t leave me alone, and I feel run down and woozy. So this icky plague isn’t quite done with me yet.

It’s not fun to come here to report a weight gain, but life happens. This is reality. Things get in the way, and obstacles spring up and trip us up and lay us out. It all comes down to how we respond. The ball is in my court: which way is this going to go? It’s up to me. I can let this derail me and feel sorry for myself and make it even worse, or I can sit and rest for a minute, catch my breath, make a plan, and get back on my feet and move forward again.