Let It Go

Yesterday was a manic day in a hectic week. I left work with another to-do list to tackle of at home, but when I got there, my husband was already home, and when he kissed me hello, he told me, “I missed you today.”

I made my decision right then and there. I pulled out that to-do list…that all-important, must-get-done to-do list…and crumpled it up. Tossed it into the recycling can. Let it all go. I can handle it later. Right now, I wanted and needed only one thing, and it was waiting right in front of me.

I got comfy with my husband, and we spent the evening together, doing whatever we felt like. Nothing fancy, nothing wild and crazy, just leaving the world outside in the cold and enjoying each other. He is my favorite person to be with, and I had a wonderful evening, right there at home.

The older I get, the happier such simple but meaningful moments make me. I am grateful that we have each other. We both have had the misfortunate of experiencing the opposite: relationships with joyless people, no genuine laughter, no true intimacy. We definitely earned what we have now, and I don’t take a single second for granted.

Surprise

After a very busy day at work yesterday — not a bad day, just extremely hectic — I was happy to slide into my car and head for home. Our home is my retreat, my sanctuary, and I couldn’t wait to get there.

Then I remembered I had to swing by the grocery store. Dang it! Oh well. The list wasn’t very long. Soon I had grocery bags loaded in the car and was finally heading home.

When I walked in the front door, I instantly noticed three things:

  1. The house smelled divine.
  2. There was an awful lot of ruckus and activity in the kitchen.
  3. My cat was mere seconds away from imminent death by starvation, despite two previous meals that day, and he made sure I knew, without a doubt, just how hungry he was, loudly and repeatedly.

I dropped the grocery bags on the dining room table and wandered into the kitchen, followed by my howling cat. My husband was cooking up a storm. A loaf of Italian bread waited on a cutting board, and pots and pans steamed on the stovetop.

I had mentioned recently, while we were watching some cooking show, how much I love lobster bisque. My husband tucked away that piece of information, then did some shopping and got to work last night. When he called me to the table, there was a bowl of homemade lobster bisque, a small plate of toasted bread, and even a glass of wine waiting for me.

Funny thing is, neither of us drinks wine, so we laughed as we tasted it, made a face, then tried it again, thinking maybe it was an acquired taste, only to make a face again. That’s all right. The lobster bisque was delicious, and I have enough left over to pack in my lunch for a day or two.

It was such a beautiful surprise. I like that he was thinking about me to plan the dinner. I like that he paid attention to my passing comment about a TV show. I am touched that he spent so much time researching a recipe, shopping, and then cooking all of it and adding his own special touches.

My husband doesn’t like seafood, so he didn’t even get to eat any of it. He laughed and said he couldn’t taste-test as he was cooking, because he thinks lobster tastes disgusting. Well, I can assure him that it turned out great.

The day’s hectic pace quickly faded away, and I just felt so special and loved that I had to write about it. I will be smiling when I heat up my lobster bisque for lunch today!

Decorating

Well, all the Halloween decorations are down, and now the yard looks so empty. No skeletons prancing around or rows of tombstones!

Monday night, I took down all the decorations inside the house and packed them up, then pulled down the Thanksgiving box. That box is not nearly as large, but I wanted to make the mantel look extra beautiful since both my husband and I love Halloween and were kind of down about it being over.

At first, my husband watched me from the sofa, since arranging the mantel is pretty much my domain. He ended up wandering over to help me center this, position that, hang a wreath above the mantel because he’s so much taller than me. I love how it turned out, and when I lit the tea lights and tiny battery lights, it looked so pretty.

I stood back to look it all over, make sure it was all perfect, and my husband smiled at me. He said he likes watching me get excited about decorating the house like that. It’s something his ex either couldn’t do or refused to do; she was incapable, or unwilling, to help make a house a true home. But this is our home, and we love it, and we have so much fun with it.

Maybe now we should just dress up our skeletons as Pilgrims and Indians, and put them back in the front yard… 🙂

Shell-Shocked

It’s not that I hate change, exactly. I just hate change that is completely out of my hands, beyond my control, and not what I wanted to happen.

I have been working from home since March 2020. At first I couldn’t stand it. I like to separate work from home, and it didn’t help that my old company sent us home with absolutely nothing. My work laptop had to stay in the office. It was absurd. They expected us to continue operating as if nothing had changed, but gave us nothing with which to do it.

When I left that job (thankfully) and started the one I am at now, they gave me everything I need to work from home, and I bought a desk and set up a comfy spot just for me to work during the day, that I could walk out of and leave work behind. My cat took to spending the day in that room with me, sometimes sprawling out on the desk and purring as he watched me type and scribble away.

My resistance to working from home quickly turned to acceptance and then love. I could stroll from my desk to the kitchen to get some water, pausing to watch birds at the birdfeeder. I could spend my lunch rocking on the front porch with a book. I could just enjoy the sleepy, hazy sun spilling through a window and appreciate the beauty of our home in a way I never had before.

Late last week, my supervisor dropped a bomb: we were all being called back to the office, as of Monday morning. I fought it, requested an exception, wanted to threaten to break kneecaps, but it didn’t take long to realize I was fighting a losing battle. It was back to an office, like it or not. (I didn’t).

So here we are with that I-don’t-like-change thing. It’s been a long week, adjusting to getting up early again, commuting, being away from home all day long. The first day, all I did was text my husband how much I missed him, that I love him, and that I wanted to come home. He said it was odd to come home for lunch without me there.

I haven’t worked out much this week. I feel shell-shocked, at the risk of sounding overly dramatic, but it was a huge change that popped out of nowhere, and I had to make it work with little notice. I will give myself a free pass this week to adjust to this, but next week, no more excuses. It’s called life. I need to just deal with it.

While change is in the air, though, I decided to update my blog a little bit, make it a little brighter. I love stained glass, but the old background looked a bit like a human sacrifice was imminent. I find this one to be a bit brighter and more cheerful.

I am excited for this weekend. I earned it this week! I will do some planning this weekend to make sure that next week is more successful, as far as diet and exercise go, than this past one.

Happy Friday!

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