I was peering at the computer screen yesterday, working, when I heard my husband come in the front door. As soon as he appeared at the office doorway, I knew something was wrong. He crossed the entire room in maybe two steps, reached out for me, and said in a tight voice, “I love you,” then held onto me tightly.
I was scared. My mind started to race with all the awful possibilities: had he been in an accident? Was one of the kids hurt? What was upsetting him so much?
He had been driving along a busy highway when he came across an old man in the road, shuffling in small steps, shaking his hands at his sides tensely, and an old woman calling to him frantically.
Cars whizzed past them, but my husband didn’t just drive by. He pulled over, went up to the old man, took him gently by the arm, and asked him to walk with him for a bit. The old man looked at his face and seemed to instantly relax. He held my husband’s arm, patting it as he walked peacefully at his side. My husband said the old man wasn’t shaking anymore.
My husband helped him to the side of the highway and stood with him at a crosswalk until the old woman was able to make her way over to them. The man was her husband. He has dementia, got confused, and started to cross the street without her, not sure where he was, who he was with, or where he was going.
When the old man turned and saw the woman walking up to them, he instantly smiled. My husband said the look of total love on his face was unmistakable. The old man said happily, “Ah, there you are!” as if he has been looking all over for her.
My husband told the woman there is no way her husband doesn’t know her anymore. His brain may forget sometimes, but the way he looked at her just then, my husband told her, was with so much love and happiness at just seeing her face. He knew exactly who she was. And he adored her.
The woman started to cry and gave my husband a hug. Apparently her husband hadn’t recognized her for some time, but something brought him back to her at the side of the road just then, let him be with her for just a while again.
My husband stayed with them for a bit, made sure they were okay, then came straight home. He said, “I couldn’t get home fast enough to just tell you how much I love you.”
Now I was the one ready to cry.
My husband said he didn’t know why it was upsetting him so much, since he didn’t know that old woman or man by the road today. I told him it touched him because he is a good person with a huge heart. I reminded him how many people drove right by, not the least bit concerned about that flustered old man in the road, or the scared woman calling out to him, frightened for him. I told him it upset him because he cares. And that’s a good thing, a rare thing.
I am, of course, sorry that it upset him, but at the same time, I can’t help but be glad he happened to drive by right then. What if everyone else just ignored what was happening? What if the old man got hurt? At least this way, my husband was able to help, and something about the encounter nudged the old man to return to himself again, recognize his wife again, and give them at least a little more time together.
I am grateful for that, and I am also reminded again of exactly why I love my husband so much. In a world full of people who just drive by, who figure it’s not their problem, I’m glad I found someone willing to stop and help and care with his whole heart.
Sweat & Sparkle 