This sums up quite well how I am feeling today. Change sucks, change is hard, but finally, being stuck where I am is just too painful and uncomfortable to tolerate anymore. I can’t accept this from myself anymore.
The other day, I was having fun during my lunch break, trying on clothes at a department store I really like. After trying on four tops and thoroughly hating how I look in each of them, I was stuffing the last top back onto its hanger when this thought popped out of nowhere into my head: “I deserve better than this.”
Yes. I do.
I don’t want to just talk about change. I want to set things into motion to help success take place. And this blog can be a part of that.
I updated my weigh-in page and intend to get back to using it. What good is a so-called weight loss blog if I am not even recording my weigh-ins?
I will also start posting my goals for each week, then following up to report how I did. I need more accountability, more action, a real plan. Not just “Gee, it would be nice to get back to a healthy weight and get into shape.” Not just talk or wishes. Real action.
I actually feel angry for letting things go as long as, and as far as, I have. It’s a level of disrespect for myself that I would never tolerate from anyone else, and it’s quite horrifying how I have not been taking care of myself, my health, at all.
I never should have let myself gain this much weight back, get this far out of shape, but that is done now. I can’t change what I have already done. I don’t want to look backwards anymore. I can only stand back up, flip my hair with attitude for emphasis, turn around to face the right way, and get the hell moving again!
Sweat & Sparkle 