The Rose Picture

I was running late for work this morning (what’s new?), so I kissed my husband good-bye, told my cat to be good, and rushed out the door. Along our front walkway, I couldn’t help but notice the roses blooming in our flower bed, with pink, white, and coral roses begging me to stop and admire them. At the end of the walkway, one spot in particular captured my attention, a stem so full of coral colored rose blooms that the branch was leaning over, and the bright flowers against a blue lantern in the flower bed were irresistible.

I wanted a picture. My arms were full, though, with my tote bag, my lunch box, and my water cup, and I didn’t have a free hand to dig out my phone. Plus I was already going to be late. So I simply sighed and rushed to my car without getting that picture.

Later, I was buried in emails at work when I got a text message from my husband. He said he wanted to send me some flower pictures, since our roses were showing off. He sent me a handful of photos of our roses, all different colors, and the very last one was the branch of coral colored rose blooms against the blue lantern that had stopped me in my tracks that morning.

I like that picture even more because that rose captured his attention the same as mine, and that he liked it enough to send the picture to me. I like that we both were drawn in by the same flowers. And above all, I love knowing that when I get home this evening and walk by that rose on the way to the front porch, he will be waiting for me, just on the other side of that door.

Do It Again

Yesterday’s goal was simple: just move. Anything. Anywhere. For any length of time. I just wanted to set a goal, no matter how small, and actually stick to it. I felt like working out about as much as I felt like licking a toad, but I made myself change clothes, tie up my sneakers, and hop onto my stationary bike for a bit.

I wish I could say it was an exhilarating experience and made me fall deeply in love with working out again, but mostly I grumbled irritably under my breath and watched the clock and counted each agonizingly slow second until it was over. About halfway through, my husband wandered into the room, gave me a kiss, and told me, “Good job, baby”, so that helped a lot and got me through to the end.

This evening, I will do it again. And the day after that, I will do it once again. What other choice do I have? Gain more weight? Get even more out of shape? Let my health decline even further? I am at an age where this isn’t all about fitting into a favorite pair of jeans anymore. It’s much more about health and quality of life and setting the stage for rest of my life.

A friend of mine wrote yesterday about her self-care goals, and she takes it seriously enough that she is tracking it each day. It got me to thinking about how I treat myself, talk to myself, especially when I am not on track or doing well, by my own standards. I would like to set some self-care goals myself, but I need to think more about that, how to make it meaningful for me.

Just Start

Sometimes, you just know when it’s time for a change. That time is today.

I started this blog what feels like a million years ago, as a weight loss and fitness journal. I drifted away from that, and in the process, I lost my support crew of other bloggers making their way along this same road. I decided it was time to rejoin them.

I want to be honest and open here. So I will admit that a huge part of my hesitancy to blog about my weight loss efforts has been insecurity, fear of failure, and not feeling quite sure that I can really do this. I mean, I have been battling my weight for years. Decades. If I was capable of winning this war, wouldn’t I have done it already?

But today I decided to take that chance. Here I am, ladies and gentlemen, with about 55 more pounds to lose, so this isn’t going to be a short or easy journey. It is what it is. I got myself here, and I need to get myself to where I want to be, simple as that.

I am going to start with a small goal today: just work out. Any workout. Anything. I don’t care if it’s five minutes, or if it’s simply skipping back and forth across our living room, as long as I commit to a workout and actually complete it. I can build on that. But in order to progress, I have to take that crucial first step, and that is the focus today: just start. Believe. Take a chance.

Anyone want to get this party started with me?

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