August 2022 – Sweat & Sparkle

Not Dead Yet!

Maybe it’s just wishful thinking, but I just might have one foot climbing out of the coffin today, ha ha. I don’t feel as dizzy or woozy today, and my headache has finally departed. I still feel exhausted and far from the picture of health, and I am still ravenously hungry, but I can stand up without feeling like I am going to collapse, so that’s a start.

This evening I will try out a light workout and see how that goes. This setback is not going to turn itself into a comeback, so I need to start somewhere.

Tomorrow is September 1, and I am so excited! I love the fall, and even though it’s still hot as hell and muggy, September just sounds like fall is right around the corner. September is also the return of college football, which reminds me: I need to buy a new team shirt, because my old one is at least two sizes too big now!

Setback

For almost 3 weeks, I have been pretty sick. What started out as what seemed like a common cold, but then mutated into the damn plague, has refused to release its grip on me, and I am definitely bearing the scars of prolonged illness: weak, tired, black circles under my eyes, all the glamorous markings of just not feeling well for a long time.

Fatigue has been the worst part. I have spent weeks feeling like all the energy has been drained out of my body. Ironically, it has been paired with intense hunger, probably because my body is desperate for fuel to fight this off.

The end result, besides a dire need for a facial, a manicure, and a month of sleep? Well, workouts have been impossible, and I am constantly hungry, so when I finally braved the scale this past weekend, I was not exactly shocked to see a weight gain. Instead of being 7 pounds from my goal weight, I am now 15 pounds from my goal instead.

Not surprising, but still disappointing and frustrating. Of course I know the extra 8 pounds are not solid fat, but more than likely water weight from cold medicines, cough syrup, drinking more because I’m always thirsty, and devouring everything in sight. All of my clothes still fit properly, so that is at least reassuring.

Enough is enough, though. I’m not going to wait until I have gained back even more weight. I worked way too hard to lose this weight. I will NOT just stuff my face and gain it back.

I felt slightly less dead yesterday and got hopeful that I was on the upswing, but today I have a stubborn headache that won’t leave me alone, and I feel run down and woozy. So this icky plague isn’t quite done with me yet.

It’s not fun to come here to report a weight gain, but life happens. This is reality. Things get in the way, and obstacles spring up and trip us up and lay us out. It all comes down to how we respond. The ball is in my court: which way is this going to go? It’s up to me. I can let this derail me and feel sorry for myself and make it even worse, or I can sit and rest for a minute, catch my breath, make a plan, and get back on my feet and move forward again.

Pat on the Back

If you must continually announce that you are a good parent, then perhaps you are not nearly as amazing and awe-inspiring as you like to believe. Why would you have to say anything at all if your actions, behaviors, and choices reflected positive parenting skills?

Patting oneself on the back and congratulating yourself is not parenting. It’s merely grandstanding. And kids deserve better — much better — than that.

Gift

The kids are not little anymore, but they are still watching. Still learning. My husband and I would be happy and proud if the kids each eventually settle down into a relationship a lot like ours. We are best friends, lovers, partners, and companions. We genuinely want to make each other happy and just be happy, together. Something that sounds so simple is so unbelievably difficult to find! So if or when they do discover that, I also wish for them the wisdom to recognize it, to eternally cherish it, and to hold onto it for all they are worth, because a once-in-a-lifetime love is just that.