I saved this quote quite some time ago and have been reflecting on it for a while. Last March, when everyone’s lives were turned upside down, a series of important changes were set off like rows of dominoes for me. Some of those changes, like my career shift, have been tremendously beneficial to me in many ways. And others, like my weight loss efforts, have ebbed and flowed, surged and died, flared and fizzled.
Ironically, I actually am at almost the exact same place, weight-wise, a year later. It’s frustrating and more than a little embarrassing, but I am not content to sit down, grow moss, and stay right here. I will not be in the same place a year from now. I won’t allow it.
But what about other ways? Besides my job change, I feel like I have changed quite a bit in my mindset and attitude. I will never be a skipping, campfire-song-singing, daisies-in-my-hair optimist, and no one will nominate me for sainthood, but I have moved away from anger and toward finding peace in my life, no matter what others choose to do or say. It’s a gradual process, and far from perfect, but being a work in progress is a lifetime quest.
The importance of that shift was driven home by seeing someone earlier this week that we haven’t seen in almost a year. It made me quite sad. We may as well have just seen her yesterday, because absolutely nothing has changed. Her bitterness, pettiness, and unpleasantness were still etched deeply in her face. She was still frowning, still sour, still unhappy. Her behavior was cringingly childish. It struck me that it must be exhausting to be so miserable all the time, even at events that should bring her pride and happiness.
I can’t do anything to change that for her. That is all in her hands. I wish I could help her, even if just for the sake of others in her life, but people need to be ready for change and need to orchestrate it themselves. It was a lesson well learned for me to continue focusing on changing more than a number on the scale for myself. My health is important, and so are what I hold in my heart, my head, my soul.
One year later, quite a bit internally has changed for me. Maybe it was necessary to do that first, before successfully tackling the outside. Time will tell!
Sweat & Sparkle 