July 2019 – Sweat & Sparkle

Stop the Presses!

e122ab2bde_stop-the-press Hold up! Stop the presses! Something amazing, and earth-shattering, and stupendous happened last night. Believe it or not, ladies and gentlemen, yesterday evening I went to the gym. I worked out. I perspired. And…I DIDN’T DIE!

I know, I know. That’s a wild story, but I swear it’s true.

The gym was crowded, which was not ideal, but I tuned everyone out and did my thing. I fought the urge to demand everyone’s attention and call for an enthusiastic round of applause when I finished my cool-down. That might be just a bit much, eh? No?

I wouldn’t say I am burning up with boundless motivation these days. More like, just really, completely, and utterly sick of being unhappy about how I look and how I feel. And no one likes that person who is always moaning about their weight but not doing anything about it. I don’t want to be that person! I’ve done that the past few months, and I am over it.

It’s amazing what a difference just one good day can do for my mood and my feelings about myself. I logged all my food yesterday, too, so yeah…getting kind of wild and crazy up in here, all these back-on-track shenanigans going on!

Excited Again

d2b09febd8701230093eb34ffcfa30aa I’m not quite sure exactly what is different this week, but I feel like I finally woke up from a much-too-long sleep. I feel the stirrings of excitement, of change on the horizon, and I am ready to jump into it and get things moving.

I weighed in on Saturday morning, and then simply enjoyed the weekend with my husband and the kids. I didn’t hit the gym, but I got plenty of exercise in the form of yard work, pulling weeds, manual labor, and sweating half to death since it is hotter than Hell here.

I’m going to interrupt this blog post to insert this crisp, refreshing image of fall, so I can wistfully dream of cooler days and chilly evenings:

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Actually, that picture makes me want to go trail running, in the fall, with dry leaves crunching under my blinged-out running shoes, sun filtering through branches, nice and cool and beautiful…not 100 degrees and humid and gross, which is all summer is.

Okay, I came here to talk about being excited about the week, but I got derailed griping about summer. Back to happy!

I had many mini-goals I set for myself, goal weights by certain dates and events, that are not going to happen. Not even close. It took a long time for me to wrap my head around that disappointment, but now that I finally have, it’s like I heaved a suffocating boulder off my shoulders and am able to look to the future with new eyes, no longer clouded by regret.

I can set new mini goals. I can still look forward to small successes along the way. I can build up to bigger and better accomplishments. And I can appreciate my effort, and be gentle with myself, and honor how kick-ass it is to never give up!

My goals for this week:

Log all of my food and drink, Monday through Friday. (I don’t get online enough on weekends to use my online food diary).
Exercise at least 30 minutes each day.
Lose at least 2 pounds by Saturday’s weigh-in.

Accountability and Flipping Hair

Change-Happens-When-the-Pain-of-Staying-the-Same-is-Greater

This sums up quite well how I am feeling today. Change sucks, change is hard, but finally, being stuck where I am is just too painful and uncomfortable to tolerate anymore. I can’t accept this from myself anymore.

The other day, I was having fun during my lunch break, trying on clothes at a department store I really like. After trying on four tops and thoroughly hating how I look in each of them, I was stuffing the last top back onto its hanger when this thought popped out of nowhere into my head: “I deserve better than this.”

Yes. I do.

I don’t want to just talk about change. I want to set things into motion to help success take place. And this blog can be a part of that.

I updated my weigh-in page and intend to get back to using it. What good is a so-called weight loss blog if I am not even recording my weigh-ins?

I will also start posting my goals for each week, then following up to report how I did. I need more accountability, more action, a real plan. Not just “Gee, it would be nice to get back to a healthy weight and get into shape.” Not just talk or wishes. Real action.

I actually feel angry for letting things go as long as, and as far as, I have. It’s a level of disrespect for myself that I would never tolerate from anyone else, and it’s quite horrifying how I have not been taking care of myself, my health, at all.

I never should have let myself gain this much weight back, get this far out of shape, but that is done now. I can’t change what I have already done. I don’t want to look backwards anymore. I can only stand back up, flip my hair with attitude for emphasis, turn around to face the right way, and get the hell moving again!

Date Night

I’m in the mood for change! I’ve always been a fan of Wonder Woman (who isn’t?), so I decided to indulge in a tiara-wearing, star-spangled, red-white-and-blue makeover here. What do you think?

No workout for me last night, but I hadn’t planned on doing one. My husband and I had a date night. It was exciting to look forward to it all day, I had a lot of fun, and I have leftovers for my lunch today to keep the party going.

This evening’s hot and heavy date, though, is with the gym. Not nearly as fun or exciting, but hey, it’s something good and healthy for me, right?

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