Rumor has it there was a three-day weekend, but I feel like it skipped us right by. Wasn’t it just Friday evening?
I weighed in Saturday morning to a loss of about 2.5 pounds, down to 157.2. I am maybe 15 pounds or so from my goal weight. I feel impatient now!
I am still shooting for being under 155 by this Saturday’s weigh-in, but after yesterday, I’m not sure that is going to happen. My friend’s daughter had died in another state, so it took a while to get her funeral arranged. It was yesterday, and seeing grief ripping her mother and her family apart was unbelievably difficult. Hearing some funny stories about her made me laugh, but also made me miss her even more.
Her mother and I talked for a while after the memorial service. She told me, “You two had such a unique relationship”, and smiled. Her daughter had been so quiet and shy when she was little, but around me, she was louder, told jokes, anything to get my attention or make me laugh.
Her mother told me that her daughter still had a locket in her jewelry box, and when she opened it, there was a picture of me and her daughter inside it. I held it together until I got to my car, then I sat in the driver’s seat and cried quietly. I thought she had forgotten me as she grew up, moved away, moved on. Knowing she had kept that locket and that picture all this time was…well, I don’t even have the words for it.
I was supposed to go running yesterday. I didn’t. I fell into bad habits and ate too much, and I just didn’t care. My husband saw the look on my face when I got home, and he stopped what he was doing and came straight to me and pulled me into his arms. I would give anything to be right there, right now, instead of at work.
Tonight, feel like it or not, I will go running. Gaining weight and not taking care of myself isn’t going to bring her back or make anything better.
Today I am finally wearing that necklace from her that I had polished and shined up but couldn’t bring myself to wear. Until now. I will never forget her saying that I have to sparkle. I will never forget how proud she was that I liked it.
I will never forget her.
Sweat & Sparkle 