Month: October 2018

Happy Halloween!

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Get your Halloween workouts in today!

Happy My-Favorite-Holiday, otherwise known as Halloween!  My husband and I love to decorate for Halloween.  I don’t mean to brag or anything, but I’m pretty sure that we have the largest collection of life-size skeletons, outside of anatomy colleges.

Today is the official kick-off of the Hard-As-Hell-to-Lose-Weight season, too.  I came into work to a large platter of Halloween cupcakes in the kitchen, plus a cauldron of Halloween candy at the front desk.  It will only get worse tomorrow, when everyone brings in their leftover candy to make the rest of the office fat.

From here, we will soon launch into Thanksgiving, a holiday that has morphed into a day all about stuffing yourself crazy with food and pie, and then Christmas and its parties and traveling…help!

I just need to plan.  It worked for the days I had to travel for work last month.  I planned my workouts, planned my eating as best as I could, and I had a loss that week.  I need to do the same thing for Thanksgiving and Christmas, because I’m not willing to gain any of this weight back just because of some holidays.

The other night, I was digging through my dresser and trying on workout pants from the bottom of the drawer, where they got buried because I was too big to wear them.  I was able to move several of them to the top of the drawer, since they fit now.  Last night I was able to wear one of my favorite t-shirts to work out in.  It hasn’t fit since maybe last summer!

I also had to retire some clothes.  I tried on a sweater to wear to work today, and it was way too large.  Some of my clothes are baggy, and I still wear them, but this was too much.  I am keeping a bag in my closet to collect the clothes that are too big.  Right now it’s just a small bag.  When it’s a trash-bag full, I will take it to Goodwill and clear out some space for smaller clothes in the future.

Usually I buy our Halloween candy, and my strategy has been to buy candy I don’t like, so that any leftover candy is not even a temptation.  This year, my husband picked up the candy, and we now have a bag big enough for an army or a small village sitting on the kitchen counter.  Apparently he anticipates trick-or-treaters by the busload!  I will wait and see how much is left over, but I am pretty sure it will be a LOT.

Like I said, I just need to plan.  Then stick to it.  I might ask him to put the leftover candy into a bag in a cabinet that I don’t use much.  Then it’s at least out of sight.  Or maybe I just need to learn to say no and leave it alone!

Smashed

This past week, I was super-strict, logging everything I even thought about eating, pushing myself through tough workouts, all because I was annoyed I didn’t reach my mini-goal last week.  Well, consider that mini-goal smashed!  I reached it this week, and then some, with a 4-pound loss.

My next mini goal is to lose 10 pounds before the end of November.  There are five weigh-ins before the end of November, so it shouldn’t be impossible.  Of course, we have the stumbling blocks known as holidays starting in November, so I need a plan.  Why can’t Thanksgiving conveniently be on a Saturday, my weigh-in day and “off” day?  Hmmph.  All I can do is schedule my workouts, make a solid plan, and stick to it.

I got up early this morning and did another Insanity Max 30 workout, and I nearly died.  This one was tough!  We’re talking burpees with jump lunges after each one, sadistic moves like that.  I practically needed a beach towel to keep wiping all the sweat off my face.

After a big loss this past week, I know my loss this week will be pretty small.  All the same, I am going to aim for 2 pounds and challenge myself.  Here’s to a good week!

86d6ee26d404f6302a5b7823ac5276cf--insanity-workout-motivation-insanity-fitness
Oh look, another Shaun T quote! 🙂

Rise Above

Rise AboveWhen I first started this blog, I wrote in my header, “I am strong enough to rise above the drama.”  Some days, I think that might just be wishful thinking!  It takes a lot to not drown in the frustration, stress, and aggravation of constantly dealing with toxic, selfish people.

This week, I am trying hard to focus on tough workouts, sticking to my meal plans, and reaching a mini-goal.  It would be a lot easier to do that if I didn’t have to worry constantly about my stepkids.

My husband and I have been doing our best to teach the oldest child, the one who moved in with us earlier this year, how to take care of himself.  I would say that Psycho didn’t bother to teach him anything, but truth be told, she has nothing to offer him.  How can she possibly teach him to be an independent adult when she is completely and helplessly reliant on her father?  She isn’t even sane enough to be embarrassed by it.

All three of the younger kids have gotten F’s in school recently, a bright red flag that something is wrong.  I can take my pick of countless bizarre and maladjusted things that could be the problem over there.

It is maddening.  I see the chaos, the low expectations, the lack of guidance, and I know that we have only a weekend here and there to teach the kids better, to try to make a difference.   I want the kids to be strong, independent, hard-working, able to think for themselves, make their own decisions, stand on their own two feet.

That is not, by a long shot, what anyone besides me and my husband wants for them, though.  Keeping them dependent, clipping their wings, means they won’t dare question anything.  Pitting them against each other means they can’t team up or stand up for each other.  Essentially, the kids are beaten down so that others in their lives can keep them tightly under their thumbs, tell them what to think, what to do.  I suppose it makes those people feel powerful, when it truly boils down to cowardly abuse and manipulation.  And if the kids never aspire to be any better, then those around them can pretend that how they live is not pathetic and dysfunctional.

The very first time my oldest stepson paid his own bill, with money he earned himself, he became more of an adult than his egg donor will ever be.  I’m not sure he realized that.  In a way, I hope he didn’t, because who wants to face that their mother is nothing more than an enormously overgrown, caterwauling infant?

I don’t know if even half of what we say and teach and preach sinks into the kids’ brains.  Everything we say is contradicted the moment they go back to their other home.  I hope, for their sakes, that at least one thing sticks: the desire to rise above.  To be better than what they observe around them.

So I keep talking to them.  I keep showing them things.  I keep teaching.  And I will keep doing my best to also rise above, to not get weighed down by the aggravation and stress and worry.  Maybe if I can do it, it will help them see that despite the negativity, despite others doing their best to shove them down, they can rise above all of this bullshit too.

I Want My Reward!

To help motivate me along this journey, and to add some fun, I decided to reward myself for every 10-pound loss.  Nothing wild and crazy, no Maserati’s here, just little things I usually wouldn’t spend the money on, like a salon manicure.

Last Saturday, I was 0.6 pounds away from my next 10-pound reward.  Besides not earning the reward yet, I was just very disappointed with losing 1.4 pounds when I worked so hard last week.  I am determined to reach my next mini-goal (and get my reward) this Saturday, so I decided to shake things up again and switched last night’s Insanity workout to Insanity Max: 30.

insanity max 30

Insanity Max: 30, led by my boy Shaun T, is basically Insanity condensed into 30 minutes.  No stretching to catch your breath after the warm-up, no breaks, no chit-chat, just hard-core go-go-go for 30 long minutes.  So it’s harder than regular Insanity because there are no breaks to look forward to, but it’s also over faster (since Insanity workouts range from 40-60 minutes).  And trust me, I watch that clock on the screen, counting down the minutes to the end!

Last night I was straightening up the top shelf of my closet, which tends to slide into a jumbled mess because I really can’t reach it and end up slinging things up there instead of neatly placing them there.  I pulled a stack of sweaters down to refold and put back neatly, when I discovered that two sweaters had been shoved behind all the others. I completely forgot I had them!  I tried them on, and they both fit.  I couldn’t wait to wear one of them today to work.  It was like going shopping but not having to spend any money, ha ha.  Oh, and it was a reminder to straighten that shelf more often!

Not Today

Have you ever heard of Kelly Herron?  Until yesterday afternoon, I never had.

Allow me to introduce you, in case you don’t know about her yet.  Kelly Herron is a runner who was attacked by a registered sex offender last year in Seattle.  She had taken a self-defense class where students were taught, among other things, to be loud and to fight savage, so that’s what she did.  She fought back, hit him over and over again, and kept yelling “Not today, motherf*cker!”  She ended up locking the abhorrent piece of trash in the bathroom until police arrived.

Her activity tracker mapped the entire attack:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4321070/GPS-tracker-shows-jogger-fought-attacker.html

The map lines from the activity tracker were combined with her battle cry of “Not today, motherf*cker!” for these t-shirts:

NTMF shirt
I want one!

Ms. Herron has used her experience to raise funds for survivors and to promote safety and the importance of self-defense.  The website, www.nottodaymf.com, has videos, interviews, blog entries, and links to her Facebook page, Instagram, and Twitter.

Just this month, during a race, Ms. Herron was groped by a man standing by the side of the road.  She said later that women are groped, grabbed, and harassed so often, and they just let it go.  She did not.  Even though she had already run 12 miles for the race, she chased down the pervert, and two bystanders helped detain him until police came to pick up the lousy excrement.

I have a lot of respect for her because she fought back.  She said “hell no” and meant it.  She refused to just accept Mr. Grabby-Pants, or women being expected to just silently deal with it and let it go.  I would love to have seen the pervert’s face when, instead of jogging on in mortified silence, she turned and came after him, shouting “Assault!  Assault!” to get others’ attention.

Apparently some people have expressed doubt about her being attacked twice.  Apparently, these people are not women, are not runners, have no brain cells, or live in a fantasy world.  What is so unbelievable about a woman being treated like shit twice in one lifetime?  Do these people read the news, or hell, just take a look around them once in a while?

Fortunately, I have never been viciously attacked while I am running, but I have been assaulted.  The worst was a man who first approached me while I was running at a park, and he jogged along beside me, big smile, trying to talk to me.  I told him I like to run alone and don’t like to be bothered while I’m running.  He nodded, fell back, and left me alone…I thought.

When I went to my car after my run and my stretch, I discovered he had either been following me or waiting for me in the parking lot.  Either way, as I got into my car, he suddenly appeared again, grabbing me, trying to force me to kiss him.  I turned my face away in disgust, and I was furious.  Was this my punishment for turning him down earlier?  What the hell gives these assholes a right to believe I have to be hurt for rejecting them?

I grabbed the door handle and slammed the door into his back.  He pulled his head away from me, yelling, and I slammed the car door into him again, then kicked him backwards.  He was surprised by it and stumbled away from my car.  I saw another guy coming across the parking lot, and since I had no idea if he intended to help me or to help the asshole, I shut the car door, locked it, and got the hell out of there.

I don’t, for one second, compare my experience to Ms. Herron’s.  But it is significant that so many female runners have a story to share at all.  When a woman is attacked, her actions are instantly questioned: why was she running alone?  Why was she running there?  Why was she running at night?  Why was she wearing that?  F*ck that.  Because we should have a right to, that’s why.  The only questions anyone should be asking are, why does that piece-of-shit man believe he has the right to touch, grab, assault any woman he chooses?  Why do they get away with it? Why does our society act like it’s not that big a deal (but if a man grabbed another’s man penis during a race, oh, I daresay it would be one hell of a big deal)?  Why do we not question his actions?  Why is she punished more than he is?

And why had I never heard of her until I came across an article yesterday?  Why are we saturated with morons and fluffheads who add nothing to the well-being of our society, but people like her are largely ignored?

I have taken self-defense classes in the past.  And I will take another.  I agree with her that everyone should know how to protect themselves to the best of their ability.  I also strongly agree that we should never just let it go.  We should not stay quiet or pretend this crap doesn’t happen.  She said she wanted the groper at that race to be held accountable, and I feel the same way.   She also said if he got away with it, he would do it again.  Undoubtedly.  Nothing will change if we just look the other way.  Nothing will change until we, as Ms. Herron was taught, are loud and fight savage.

 

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