Month: September 2018

Insanity, Round 2

Shaun TLast night, I bravely pressed “play” on the first Insanity workout, the first time I’ve tried an Insanity workout since last summer, and proceeded to gasp, wheeze, whine, and hyperventilate my way through the next 40 minutes.  Good lord, those workouts are just as tough as I remember them!  I must admit I spat out a few f*ck you’s at Shaun T, the instructor, but I did my best, took breaks to suck air when I needed to, and somehow made it through to the end.

Honestly, if the instructor was anyone else besides Shaun T, I don’t think I would do these workouts.  There is just something about him.  No, I don’t have a raging crush on him or anything like that.  He is just the right blend of tough and encouraging, pushing you yet also giving off that vibe of a stern yet caring big brother who would sit and listen to all your problems, and dish out tough love as needed, but with a sincere hug at the end.  It helps that I read his book, and knowing more about his childhood and background makes him even more appealing as a fitness instructor, because he has had struggles too.

When it was all over, and I could breathe again, and was certain I did not require medical equipment to stabilize my heart, I thought, “That wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be.”  I am by no means saying it was easy.  It wasn’t!  But I made it through more reps and didn’t take nearly as many breaks as I thought I would have to.  Oh, and I didn’t collapse in a quivering, sobbing heap on the floor, in a pool of my own sweat.  That’s always a plus.

Or maybe that’s just oxygen deprivation talking, cunningly tricking me into doing another Insanity workout.  Either way, I survived to tell about the first one, so I will definitely attempt the next one too!

Fear

Comfort Zone and ChangeThis week, I am definitely stepping out of my comfort zone.  I want to ramp things up, turn up the flame, shake things up.

First, I renewed my membership to Beachbody on Demand, which gives me access to online workouts like P90X, 21 Day Fix, and most important, Insanity.  I did a round of Insanity workouts last summer, and they are unbelievably tough!  I want to start another round to build up my endurance and stamina for my running, and also to torch calories like crazy.

That leads to my next out-of-my-comfort-zone decision: I am 99% sure I have convinced myself to sign up for a half marathon in 2019.  WHAT?  Yep, you read that right!  I have a lot of work to do, but once the notion struck my brain, I couldn’t stop thinking about it.  I take that as a sign to go for it.

13H_900x@2x

I have actually completed half marathon distance twice, but it was running on my own, so no medal or t-shirt to flaunt about shamelessly.  Also, that was several years ago, so I am starting from scratch.

Thing is, I first started thinking about a half marathon about two months ago.  Since then, I keep talking myself out of it.  I’m too out of shape, I won’t be ready by next year, I won’t be able to finish, I’m too old, I’ve gained too much weight to get back into running, blah blah blah.  I keep convincing myself I can’t do it, which is why I haven’t signed up for one yet.

I don’t even know where that self-doubt is coming from.  I am typically a very confident individual (some would say arrogant, but anyone who says that is just jealous, of course!)

I was about to say that the worst that could happen is that I give it a go and can’t finish.  But that’s not true.  The worst thing that could happen is that I don’t even try because I’ve clipped my own wings, beat myself down, and chickened out of even giving it a shot.

Fear Being In the Same Place

I won’t know what I can do unless I try.  I’m still nervous about committing to a half marathon, but if I am still thinking about it months later, then obviously I need to take that shot.

I’m Back!

Last week was a massive, dreaded, huge challenge for me.  I was traveling for work most of the week, and I am notorious for failing miserably when anything throws me even slightly off my routine.  It seemed like every single event revolved around food while I was out of town, from catered meals for our board members, to platters of cookies during breaks, to a reception and fancy dinner and even an elaborate breakfast the last day.

I had packed my running shoes and workout clothes, and I put them to work each day I was at the hotel.  I was worried I had eaten too much at the fancy dinner (we had hors d’oeuvres AND appetizers AND dessert afterward, for goodness sake!)  Who needs all that?  Ugh!

I was very nervous at weigh-in on Saturday morning.  I had done my best to keep up my workouts while I was gone, but every meal was a restaurant meal, and of course I didn’t get home until the night before weigh-in, so I went straight from traveling to the scale.

The result?  I lost 1.4 pounds!

That is a huge accomplishment for me.  To not gain, and to actually lose weight, after traveling, is amazing for someone who typically can’t even pick up lunch without falling off the wagon.  I really wanted to hit a mini goal this week, though, and I didn’t want traveling to get in my way.

Yesterday I had to keep tugging on my jeans to keep them up while I was out running around with my husband and stepson, so I have officially retired my first pair of pants since starting over again.  They are just way too big.  I can’t wait to have to clean out even more.

Onto a new week, and my goal is to lose 2 pounds!

Damn Cookies

I made a deal with myself about going back to the store and buying that top that I liked, the one I mentioned yesterday.  I decided that since the top is dressy, I can’t wear my old, baggy, faded black pants with it for the work event.  So if I have a pair of black dress pants in a smaller size in my closet that fit, I will probably get the top.  If I have to buy pants as well as the top, then I won’t bother spending the money on clothes that will be too big soon.

I have mentioned that I have a wide range of different sizes in my closet, thanks to my gain-lose-gain-lose dance.  Last night I pulled out a pair of black pants I haven’t worn in a long time and tried them on.  In fact, I almost forgot I had them.  They fit!  I am actually wearing them today.

As I lose weight, I am going to purge my closet and dresser of all clothes that are too big. I don’t want larger sizes sitting around.  I don’t want to gain this weight back, and I want room for smaller, nicer, cuter clothes when I reach goal weight.

Today is a struggle to stay on track and is testing my resolve, though.  I came into work to a large box of Krispy Kreme doughnuts in the kitchen, and we had lunch delivered for a meeting.  Guess what my boss wanted brought in with that lunch?  A dozen large, delicious-looking, calorie-laden cookies!  And she keeps saying “Have a cookie” and pushing them like a drug dealer.  I keep saying no thanks.  I can’t wait to escape the office and the food traps today!

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