July 2018 – Page 2 – Sweat & Sparkle

Tough Love

I had a solid plan yesterday. I even had it written down before I left work: everything I needed to get done, in order, starting with my workout.

Then my husband and older stepson asked me to meet them for dinner. Instant panic attack! What about my plan? I suck at eating out. I go from “I’m on a diet” to “I’ll have a double bacon cheeseburger and cake, please” in 60 seconds. Then I will be so stuffed that I can barely walk, let alone even think about working out.

I almost didn’t go. I didn’t trust myself to not eat like a pig and get way off track again. I didn’t want to miss out on spending time with them, though. I surprised myself and did very well: I drank unsweet tea, got a Caesar salad, and skipped dessert, even though they have some rather seductive cake.

When we got home, though, my to-do list hadn’t shrunk any, so I figured, what the hell. Something’s got to give, and it may as well be my workout. I went ahead and changed into comfy, hang-around-the-house clothes, ready to start working my way down my list, minus the workout. But when my husband saw me, he instantly said “Nope!”

He told me he wouldn’t have asked me to join them for dinner if he knew it was going to mess up my plans. He said I have been doing so well with working out, and he didn’t want to be the reason I skipped a workout. He encouraged me to go do one of my workout DVD’s so I could still put a star on the calendar for the day.

I honestly wouldn’t have worked out if he hadn’t said anything. How could I say no to that, though? I laced up my sneakers and pressed play on a workout video, and I was relieved to finish it and place that star on the calendar.

Our one-year wedding anniversary is coming up, and after he did that for me last night, I want to get mushy and sappy for a moment. My husband has never treated me any different, no matter what I weigh. Even at my heaviest, he never pushed me away or acted like I was unattractive to him. When I had lost weight, he let me know he was proud of the hard work I had put in, but that he loved me even before I lost weight. He has always been affectionate, quick to tell me he thinks I am beautiful, holding my hand and holding onto me like none of the extra weight is even there.

He knows it’s important to me to lose this weight. I love that he dished out some tough love last night and gave me that gentle shove to work out. When I got finished, he smiled and said “Good job!” I went over to him, sweaty and red-faced with my hair sticking up, and had to give him a kiss.

I am glad, that out of all the people in the world, and all the different directions we could have taken, we managed to take the twists and turns that led us to each other.

Now…time to brainstorm a killer first anniversary gift!

Going for Seven Stars

If I half-assed it last week, and didn’t decide until the week was nearly over to get consistent and get a grip, and I still managed to squeak out just over a half-pound loss…well, why not be wild and crazy and see what I can lose if I am on track this entire week?

I did some planning ahead this weekend, and I cooked a large batch of baked pork chops yesterday, enough to have leftovers to pack for a day or two for my lunches this week. My stepdaughter helped me make the sauce for them, and when we tasted them, she told me to save her some to eat next weekend, ha ha. Yeah, we might just want to make a fresh batch, not rely on week-old pork chops!

I also need to attack my soda habit, and I have a plan for that too. I started making unsweet tea, and my oldest stepson got me one of those fancy travel cups that keeps a drink hot or cold. It’s a godsend! My tea stays cold even when it sits on my desk at work all day. The ice doesn’t even melt. I sound like a commercial, don’t I? But it helps a lot to have my tea to drink and keep me away from soda. Plus I really like that the cup was a gift from him. It means a lot, after all that we have been through, and all the jealous attempts to drive a wedge between us.

I got six out of seven stars last week on the calendar for workouts. This week I am aiming for all seven!

Happy Sunday!

I challenged myself to finally gain some consistency last week, and I finished the week with workouts on six out of seven days (felt lazy on Monday) and my food diary completed most days, too. I didn’t like working out some of those days (okay, I didn’t like it any of those days), but I loved actually being able to log my workout and put that star on the calendar for each day.

On Saturday morning, I weighed in with just over a half-pound loss. Tiny, right? Except that if I hadn’t decided it was time to get consistent and make some changes, that would have undoubtedly been a gain, not a loss. So I will take it, and quite happily!

On tap today is most likely some strength training, plus trying a new recipe. I want to get back into the habit of cooking something on Sundays that leaves me enough leftovers to pack my lunch at least a day or two the following week. Otherwise I end up finding excuses to not pack my lunch and hit the drive-through. Packing my own lunch will mean I eat healthier, and eat less calories, too.

Right now it’s super quiet in our usually rambunctious and rowdy household. My husband and the kids are still snoozing. I woke up early for some reason and am just waiting for them to start stirring so we can get our Sunday started.

Happy Sunday!

have_a_beautiful_sunday_butterfly_on_flowers_photograph (1)

Priority

Wait…what was that? Don’t look now, but I think I just caught a brief glimmer, however faint and fleeting, of my long-lost motivation!

Yesterday evening, I made my way to the gym for the first time in a while. It was wonderful, life-changing, inspiring, heaps of fun! Just kidding. It was torture, and I would much rather have been plopped on the couch, munching on snacks, with my nose in a book. But the important thing is, I went. I got it done, and yesssss, I got a star on the calendar for working out.

That makes 3 days this week, which is a record for me lately. Nothing in particular has happened to light a fire under my lazy butt. I am just straight-up fed up with being overweight, tired of not liking how I look, sick of feeling so out of shape and unhealthy. Tired of knowing I can do so much better. Why have I had enough after being this way for so long? Who knows. But I am done, ready for change.

Once upon a time, I was fit, wore a size 6-8, and could run and move and crank out push-ups and had muscle tone. I have never given up on getting back to that, and my closet reflects that: many of the clothes hanging in there are like museum relics, way too small for me to wear, collecting dust, just waiting for me to get my act together and lose enough weight to wear them again.

I know this is a day-by-day battle. Just because I feel motivated today doesn’t mean I will feel that way tomorrow, or even an hour from now. I have let my workouts, logging my food, and any weight loss efforts become a “if-I-feel-like-it” thing. Well, not anymore. Not if I want to see any results. It won’t be fun, it won’t be easy, but from now on, it is non-negotiable and a priority in my life.

Consistency

On Sunday, I threw my body into acute shock by actually working out. I was crazy proud of myself the rest of the day. Then on Monday, I blew it off, slacked off, and skipped my workout for no good reason, really, except I just plain didn’t feel like it.

My biggest issue for quite some time now has been getting back to any kind of consistency. A workout here and there isn’t helping much. Shocking, right? Logging one meal a day and then forgetting about my food diary for a week isn’t accomplishing much, either.

Come on now! I have lost a good bit of weight in the past. I know how to do this. I am fully capable of doing this.

*swift kick in my own rear*

Take that!

Yesterday I worked out with weights, and I have logged my breakfast so far today. That’s a good start.

My goal for the rest of this week: get consistent. Work out every day the rest of this week, and log my food, every bite, every sip, the rest of the week too.

I will never see results with what I am doing now. I’m just flat sick of being fat, overweight, out of shape. I want to change. I need to change. I have wasted enough time.

consistency