Month: April 2018

Happiness Is…

…dirt.  Lots of dirt.  Well, not just the dirt exactly, but it’s hard to avoid the dirt when you love gardening.  Last weekend’s weather was rainy, stormy, all-around crappy, and I am having withdrawal symptoms, twitching at the sight of the Home Depot garden center.  It’s an itch that must be scratched, people.

Tomorrow is my only window of opportunity for yard work this weekend, since it’s supposed to rain on Sunday.  I made a list, because without it, I will drift from one project to another, easily distracted, never completing any of them.  Must stay focused!

I will skip a formal workout tomorrow, since a full day in the yard is a workout in itself.  Being of the pale-skinned variety, it’s also a workout just getting ready to head outside for the day: sunscreen on my face, slather up my neck and arms, second coat on my face because I swear it starts to burn the instant I step outside, hat to protect my face, and making sure the sunscreen ends up in my gardening tools bag so the whole routine can be done again on an hourly basis.

This has been a long week, and I’m ready for some quiet me-and-the-dirt-and-plants time.  Nothing terrible has happened, it’s just been very busy.   I hate feeling like I shuffle from one over-sized to-do list to another, but at least I can say I got a lot done this week.

I can’t spend my entire weekend in the yard, though.  The little people (a/k/a the kids, who are all actually taller than me) will be here, and I want to be sure to spend time with them and their dad as much as I can.

But first…gotta make it through the rest of the work day without bolting suddenly for the door and making a mad run for it to start the weekend NOW.

Hell Yeah!

YESSSSSSS!  Finally, at long last, after weeks (okay, months) of gains, I stepped onto the scale this morning for a great loss: 5.2 pounds down!  Wow.  I earned that too, I assure you.

This past week, I made up my mind that it was time to do this, take it seriously, or just forget about it.  I went back to logging all my food and drink, and I stopped letting myself consider my workouts optional.  I did two workouts I wasn’t sure I was going to make it through, and they were difficult but not impossible.

I got back to running too.  I am going gently and slowly on a treadmill until I am sure my heel is 100% healed up, and also because carrying all this extra weight makes running a bit uncomfortable.  I can’t wait until I lose enough that I can enjoy running instead of spending the entire time yanking on a sports bra that is digging into my ribs, or wondering if my legs rubbing together is going to create enough friction to set my workout pants on fire.  That would be a sight to see at the gym!

This weight loss is very motivating.  It’s a sure sign of what I can when I put my mind to it and decide that I am going to do it, come hell or high water.

After my weigh-ins, I take a cheat meal, so tonight my husband and I are going out to dinner.  I meant to get some yard work done today, but after the alarm went off this morning for my run, I snuggled back up beside my husband, who made it even harder to get out of bed by gently stroking my hair.  Eventually I made myself get up, but I got a very late start to the day, and now it’s time to hit the shower for our date tonight.

Happy Saturday!

Puffy Bangs and Side Ponytails

It’s amazing what you can find on YouTube.  I like to hunt for workout videos, and I struck gold when I discovered some old, classic Kathy Smith workouts. We’re talking teased-up, puffy bangs old.  Scrunchy socks, side ponytails, off-the-shoulder tops,  and leotards old.  Don’t believe me?  Feast your eyes:

Kathy Smith

One workout, Kathy Smith’s Weight Loss Workout, is 62 minutes long, well over my usual 30 minute workout right now, as I ease back into this whole “GAWD-I-hate-working-out-but-damnit-I’m-fat” thing.  I figured I would do about 25-30 minutes of the workout and just stop when I couldn’t do any more.

I actually laughed out loud a few times during this workout.  The constantly changing outfits, hairdos, and scenery keep it from getting boring, but sometimes they are just downright hilarious, as evidenced here:

KS2

The workout shifts through different styles of cardio and some weight training, like lunges.  Most of the moves are fairly simple, but for some reason she decides to get crazy complicated (at least for me) during the section with mambos and cha-chas, with rapid-fire arm movements and wildly flitting across the room.  I figured as long as I was still moving and sweating, it didn’t really matter if I was getting each and every step and arm gesture just right.

I was surprised when she announced it was time to cool down and stretch.  I had made it through the entire hour!  I really didn’t think I could.  *patting myself on the back*  That leaves me heartened that I am not a lost cause, after all, ha ha.

Do or Die

imageAfter the way I ate and skipped several workouts last week, I fully expected a gain when I weighed in Saturday morning.  First, the good news: I didn’t gain, by some miracle.  I maintained, down to the ounce, from the week before.  Not gaining is good, right?

Now the bad news: I didn’t lose anything.  And since my goal is to lose weight, not stay where I am, that means I am not making any progress.  That is decidedly not good.

I made a decision after that weigh-in.  It’s do or die time.  It’s piss or get off the pot time.  I can’t stand being unhappy about my weight anymore, especially if I’m not doing a damn thing about it.  It’s time to fight for what I want, put in the work, suck it up and do what I need to do to lose this weight.

I forced myself to make a plan.  I created a new weigh-in chart with weekly goals counting down to my goal weight.  It was sobering.  Instead of reaching my goal this summer, like I had hoped, I won’t realistically reach my goal until damn near Christmas.

But I got excited when I saw that I could reach my goal right around my husband’s birthday!  That would be so awesome, for several reasons.  One, of course, reaching my goal weight is going to be a huge accomplishment and exciting just because it’s something I’ve struggled to do for so long.  Reaching my goal around the same time as his birthday would be symbolic and meaningful, because he has been extremely supportive and never judgmental.  He’s never given up on me, never acted like my weight lessened me in any way in his eyes, and has loved me no matter what number is on the scale.  He has encouraged me when I gained, reassured me when I feel like a monster blob of fat, and has never doubted I will reach my goal, when I am ready and when I really want to.

Last night I knew that it was time to step up my workouts.  I need to be careful and make sure I don’t aggravate that pain I had in my heel, so I tested the waters with a step aerobics workout, still plenty sweaty, but no jumping.  (And it’s an old workout, so there was also plenty of permed hair, Spandex, scrunchies, and leg-warmer style socks.  Not on me, though.  I swear.)

Each day, I need to make the decision that I truly want this and am willing to work hard for it.  If I don’t, I am just wasting my time and everyone else’s.  It’s time to do this for real and get it done.

What Happened to the Weekend?

Did everyone else’s weekend fly by in the blink of an eye, or was it just me?  And since I’m just now writing about the long-gone weekend on a Thursday afternoon, obviously the week is steaming past pretty quickly too.

Easter weekend was beautiful, and much too short!  We didn’t go to church.  I don’t get into that whole thing about needing some puke-pastel new dress for Easter mass.  When did Easter turn into a church fashion show, anyway?  I am not into organized religion at all.  I consider myself spiritual, but once you add the human factor to it, it’s just ruined to me.  Too much chest-pounding, attention-seeking, grandstanding, self-gratification, self-satisfied judging, gossiping, etc., while everything about simply being a good person to others gets mostly, if not entirely, lost.  Not sure why I got onto that tangent, but there you go, my sermon about religion, for your reading pleasure.  Now go in peace.

Before I knew it, I was back at work on Monday morning, convinced we had missed a day somewhere over the weekend.  That afternoon, my older stepson sent me a text, asking if I wanted to do something together when I got home from work.  I was surprised.  What red-blooded 19-year-old wants to hang out with his old, boring, nerd of a stepmom?  (Just kidding.  I’m totally cool.  At least I like to think so.  Not sure anyone else does, though!)

The three of us (my stepson, me, and my equally cool husband) got together after work and had a good time, blowing off steam and being silly and just having fun.  I enjoy just watching the two of them together, laughing and carrying on.  They get louder and louder, trying to one-up the other.  It’s amazing we’ve never been escorted forcefully from any establishment.

Good news: I am breathing freely, no longer popping decongestants like candy, and have had no issues with my foot for at least a week.  This weekend I’d like to gently, slowly, and cautiously ease back into running, which will be light jogging until I’m sure that god-awful pain is not going to come back!

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