March 2018 – Sweat & Sparkle

What I Learned

I learned something yesterday. Apparently, judging from behavior I astutely observed, the proper response to a blog post that reveals unsavory actions on your part is to get your plus-size granny panties in a twist, refer to what the child said as “bullshit”, concoct a new story that conveniently paints you as a glowing saint, then return to said blog post about a dozen more times to get all lathered up again, because ultimately, your empty life revolves around the scintillating blog writer, and you simply can’t help your pathetic self.

Okay, I lied about one part of this. I didn’t really just learn this yesterday. No. I have already known for a long, long time that this is how things go down with certain people. Don’t change your shitty behavior when you get caught; just lie, lie, lie, and force the kids to do the same.

Anyone still wondering why I worry about the kids so much?

Injuries

No workout last night: my heel felt sore, and I didn’t want to aggravate it. I iced it and rested it, and I will try again tonight, a low-impact workout.

Must be the week for injuries. My younger stepson missed school after having his jaw slammed accidentally during a game. He said it was very sore and that he couldn’t rest due to the pain, but assured me he was going to see a doctor later that day. We didn’t hear from him after the doctor appointment, so my husband called him and found out why: Mother-of-the-Year had informed her beloved son that she had “important things to do”, so she never made an appointment to take him.

Unbelievable.

Yeah, don’t worry about that injured jaw, or his obvious pain, or his health and well being. Lord knows Psycho’s meaningless job didn’t need her, since she is essentially just an oversized paperweight there anyway, with roughly the same responsibility load as the wastebasket.

The only time I know for sure the kids are safe and properly taken care of are when they are with us. They’re largely left to their own devices in their other home, and to be honest, I feel better with them taking care of each other than being subjected to Psycho’s “parenting”.

Well, I hope the kids have a good weekend and a fun Easter. They are off school today for Good Friday, and I hope they enjoy their day. Mostly, I just hope they survive the next week and stay in one piece before they are here again, when I finally can be sure they are okay.

Still Here!

I’m still here! I managed to lose 2 pounds at my last weigh-in, which was quite nice, but this week has been one hell of a challenge.

I have yet another stuffy nose. We’re not talking a cutesy little sniffle here and there and a delicate dab at my nose. We’re talking sinus pressure so bad, it feels like my face is going to explode. I am burning through several boxes of tissues a week (I highly recommend Puffs Ultra Soft, by the way). I blow my nose so much, the skin of my poor, abused nose is red and chapped. I believe the worst is over, though, and I’m down to the annoying-but-not-going-to-die stage.

On top of barely being able to breathe, I have had the joy of an agonizing pain in the heel of my foot. Two doctors have looked at it and have yet to diagnose me, or offer any treatment, or actually do a damn thing of any kind. I ended up researching it myself and have self-diagnosed an entrapped nerve, which just sounds painful, and I assure you it is.

I wasn’t even able to lay down to go to sleep at night, since the pain intensified, shooting up my leg, if I was laying down. I propped myself up on the couch, wrapped in a blanket, and managed to doze fitfully on and off through the night. The last few nights, I was finally able to join my husband in bed, snuggled up under the comfy blankets. I missed being near him at night and waking up beside him.

Workouts were non-existent this week, since just standing on my foot was more than I could handle. The pain seems to be letting up, so last night I bravely tested the waters and did a short, low-impact workout, all the while waiting for pain to blaze through my foot and leg like lightning, but it went well, no extra pain. I will stick with low impact workouts until I’m sure this is healed up.

So, other than being sick and barely able to walk, things are good, ha ha. Busy, but good. I’m looking forward to this weekend. My husband and I have been texting back and forth this morning, making plans for the weekend. Is it Friday evening yet?

Get This Over With

*cringe*

Okay, let’s just get this over with, shall we? My weigh-in on Saturday was terrible. I expected it, after a week of overeating and skipping workouts, but that didn’t make it any easier to swallow. I gained 2.4 pounds, up to 207.4.

Gah. I hate even typing that! How embarrassing. I am only 10 pounds under my highest weight ever, 217 pounds.

The only good news is, I finally feel disgusted enough that I know I need to something. Talking isn’t going to do a damn thing. I am living proof of that.

I have no excuses for this past week. My stepkids were home, but don’t worry, I’m not going to blame them for my own choices. All I can say is, with the kids home, my husband cooked more, and he is a wonderful cook…everything fried, dipped in Ranch dressing, or topped with bacon! Delicious, yes. Particularly conducive to weight loss, hell no.

Time for change. Real change, not just yapping about it. A friend of mine shared this today, and its timing was perfect:

Change

How true. How can I expect change when I keep doing the same stupid things, making the same poor food choices, keep the same unhealthy routine? I can’t. Obviously.

I signed up for Spinning class this evening to get this week off to a good start. It’s time to take control of my life, my health, my weight. Time to take responsibility, time to own it, time to start doing what I keep saying I will do: lose this damn weight and get in shape!

What Is This Crap?

Searching for motivational weight loss images and quotes today, I came across this:

Crap

I am not sharing this because I like it. Quite the opposite. I think it’s pandering, trite, asinine bullshit.

What is the main message to this crap? That I should lose weight so that I don’t lose my easily straying man, who, according to the creator of this steaming pile of excrement, is so busy ogling other women that he won’t notice if I lose weight anyway?

In a nutshell, this image and its accompanying wordy (and un-proofread) text boils down to: (1) all women are petty, jealous bitches ferociously competing in a global beauty contest of epic proportions, apparently launching into cave-woman style MMA matches to declare ownership of someone’s man, and (2) all men are immature assholes constantly and hopelessly on the prowl for another woman, any woman but the one he is with, to check out and caress hungrily with his lusty eyes.

So, to answer the oft-repeated question above: no, I’m not okay with it. With any of it. I am not motivated by the concept of alluring other women’s dates to eye me up, thank you, and quite frankly, if my husband felt the need to “check out” other women as regularly as is implied in this moronic image, then he would not be my husband for very long. Luckily, I didn’t settle for an immature boy-child.

Maybe this image is the end-all, light-a-fire motivation for someone. Not me. Too insulting and catty and high-school-drama-ish for me. But I don’t like images or quotes, in general, that assume all women want to lose weight just so they can wear bikinis, meet society’s approval, and preen and hope everyone is staring at them and deeming them tiny enough. I prefer an emphasis on being strong, being fit, dominating, conquering, overcoming. Making yourself proud. Proving you can do it.