November 2017 – Page 2 – Sweat & Sparkle

Screw It!

Posts like this one are hard to write. It’s so much easier to come here and share what’s up when I am doing well. When I’m struggling, it’s difficult to admit I can be so incredibly stupid.

We had a great weekend with the kids, and I came to work Monday morning in a good, if a bit sleepy, mood. That didn’t last long. My boss, the little ray of sunshine that she is (read that in a heavily sarcastic tone), slithered into my office and instantly got on my nerves and dumped a heap of work on me. I already have plenty to do, and it would take superhuman powers to get all this done. It irritated me and left me so stressed out and frazzled that I gave in to a total “f*ck it” mentality.

I cancelled my workout class after work. I just didn’t feel up to it. I went out to dinner with my husband, and I indulged in comfort food. We’re talking fried, with gravy, plus dessert. *cringe* I didn’t work out when we got home. I changed into comfy clothes and curled up on the couch.

But at least I got back on track on Tuesday, right?

*cough, cough*

Nope. I didn’t even log my food yesterday. Why bother? I already knew I was way over calories. I did make myself work out though. My butt is sore today from the squats, so the way I am walking today is somewhat comical.

Today I feel like I’m stuck in this rut and can’t find my way back. I’m stuck like quicksand in a very negative mindset and can’t shake it.

I’m disappointed in myself. I don’t know if I can salvage this week and have at least a small loss. I don’t know if I will escape without a gain at this point. I’m upset that I let this garbage get to me this much. I know better, for goodness sake. I really want to lose this weight, but you’d never know it from my choices this week!

Soda Cravings

For whatever reason, this week has been a huge struggle! From the overwhelming urge to eat, eat, eat, to temptations like the cheesecake at that event yesterday and cupcakes that my husband bought yesterday (yes, really), to plans being changed for tonight, when I was going to do a good, sweaty workout, it’s like the entire universe worked against me this week.

Today I am having strong cravings for soda. That surprises me, because I cut back on soda at least a few weeks ago, and I haven’t had any bad cravings until now. I refuse to give in. I refuse to add in the calories and the Weight Watchers points. Tomorrow, after weigh-in, I can have one. Not until then.

During my lunch today, I did 2 miles of a Leslie Sansone walking workout. I usually only do one mile, so I don’t get terribly sweaty and have to get back to work, but I figured I could use the extra mile this week.

Tomorrow morning is weigh in! It’s been a stressful week. I haven’t caved though, except that bite of cheesecake yesterday and some crackers with peanut butter earlier this week. Compared to what I wanted to eat, that is nothing!

My Future Marine

Today I was forced, against my will, to attend a work event. I can’t stand social events for work. Chit chat, mingling, networking…I hate all of that crap. A meal was served during the program, and I didn’t know ahead of time what it was, so I knew it was going to be a high-risk situation. If I pack my lunch, I have total control over what food is even available to me. An event where food is served? Not so much.

Luckily the meal itself wasn’t terribly tempting. It looked and tasted like it had been sitting a while before it hit my table. I picked at the chicken and ate a few pieces of grilled squash. I didn’t like anything else. Cooked carrots and most other vegetables are just oozy slime to me.

During the entire meal, though, a delectable, tantalizing slice of cheesecake posed seductively before me, topped with whipped cream, calling my name like a brazen temptress. Have I mentioned that I absolutely adore cheesecake? All I’ve wanted to do all week is eat, eat, eat, and now this!

Before I knew it, I picked up my spoon and grabbed a small bite. I had hoped it would taste terrible, but no such luck. It was amazing. I have been resisting temptation all week. Didn’t I deserve a little treat?

Maybe, but I still put the spoon down and firmly told myself “no more”. I don’t need the Weight Watchers points or the calories (18 Weight Watchers points and 400 calories in one slice, in case you were wondering). I was honest and logged my one bite, and I was relieved I didn’t have to log the entire slice!

You may have noticed that I re-launched the My Marine Boot Camp Challenge on the right side of my blog. When I was struggling so much, a challenge was just another burden and stressor. It wasn’t helping or motivating me at all. Now that I feel like I’m ready to move forward, I decided it was time to get back to my challenge.

My stepson had an injury not long after arriving at boot camp, so he hasn’t been in a regular platoon until now. So, if I am understanding correctly, his 12 weeks start now, not when he left last month. We miss him a lot, but maybe focusing on this challenge and accomplishing some personal weight loss and fitness goals will make the time he’s gone go by a little faster.

So, starting now, consider me in boot camp too (albeit a much easier version that what he is enduring). Here’s to me being a lot stronger, fitter, slimmer, and lighter before my future Marine sees me again.

Weight Watchers vs. MyFitnessPal

I have a few weeks of following Weight Watchers under my belt now, and I am over the initial shock of just how many points my favorite foods are worth. The first week was a jolt, and I had to overhaul my eating habits fast. Soda is worth way too many points and left nothing if I actually wanted to eat that day. Candy, sweets, anything sugary and gooey and rotting my teeth (in other words, my favorite foods) had to go.

Most fruits and vegetables are “free”, meaning they have no points. I can eat them and not lose any points for the day. So I started packing things like bananas and grapes for my snacks during the work day, and I add celery and carrots to my lunches. I spring for the points for ranch dressing, because otherwise I know damn good and well I won’t eat the rabbit food. No diet or ranch dressing, either, because it tastes like doo-doo.

After struggling for months to get back on track, the WW points system basically slapped me in the face and said “Either crap or get off the pot”. I had to either make big changes to stick to my points, or I could waste the money I was spending on WW, keep eating whatever I wanted, and keep gaining weight. I don’t know why the points system made it click for me when tracking calories didn’t. Maybe just because it was something new. I am just grateful I found something that drastically improved my eating habits and got me back to losing weight.

I joined WW while they were running a special price for 3 months, so my membership will expire in mid-January. WW is a bit expensive when they aren’t running specials, so I am already contemplating whether I want to renew in January or not.

Thing is, I definitely credit the WW points for getting me back on track, but the WW site and app are just not worth $20 a month. My food diary is not broken down into macros like fiber, carbs, protein, calcium, etc. The features like saving a meal or adding favorite food to MyFitnessPal seems much easier too. It takes me less time to log my food on MFP than it does on WW. Editing or deleting my saved meals is easier on MFP too.

The WW app and site don’t come with much of a community, either. There’s a feature called Connect where you can see posts and pictures from other people, and you can follow certain people, but it’s not the same. There’s no feed specific to me, with just my posts and my friends’ posts, like on MFP. I can’t “friend” people like I can on MyFitnessPal, can’t send messages like I can on MFP. There are no message boards or challenges at all on WW, which is huge strike against them for me.

In a nutshell, the only benefit the WW app and site have for me is quickly calculating the WW points for my food diary. The community and the support are simply not there, and free sites like MFP have more features on the food diary than WW does for $20 a month. Nothing justifies the cost for me. The WW app feels primitive, which is ironic since it is the most expensive food logging app that I know of. If MFP and LoseIt can offer more features on even their free accounts, then WW has no excuse to not offer the same, and more, with their overpriced app.

I thought about cancelling WW and getting at least a partial refund of what I paid for 3 months, but I am still not 100% on my feet. I know how easily I can slide back into bad habits. For some reason, the WW points are keeping me in line, and if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. I will keep it through January and hopefully get stronger in my healthier habits so I can just switch back to logging my food on MFP, with better eating habits.

I’m not running WW down here. I love what tracking WW points has done to improve my eating habits and get me back on track. But for $20 a month for online only (the website and the app, no meetings), WW really needs to offer more. Free apps are more sophisticated, easier to navigate, and offer more features and support.

I have been double-logging my food, entering it into WW to track my points, then entering it into MFP to track calories. It’s extra work, but I wanted to keep a record of how many calories I am consuming compared to how many WW points I am using each day. I think it will help when I switch back to logging on just MFP. A day with the same calorie range as another day, but with lower WW points, means I ate healthier that day. So later I can review my MFP food diary and see which days were the most successful for me, and I already have a meal plan to follow. It’s a pain to double-log, but when I cancel WW, I think it will be valuable to me to have that information saved on MFP. (I use the Notes box to enter my WW points for that day).

I have now officially smothered you in WW talk 🙂 I like to plan ahead, though, and I figured maybe someone else could benefit from a review of the WW app compared to free ones like MFP. Bottom line, it is worth every penny to me to pay for the WW app for a few months to get me back on track, but I can’t see indefinitely paying $20 a month for outdated and limited tools. WW really needs to add features to make it more than a points calculator.

FINALLY Lost Weight

Do you know how long it’s been since I had a good loss at weigh in? I’ve had nothing but gains (or skipped weigh-ins) since July. This past Saturday, I lost 2.8 pounds and was thrilled! Finally!

It was a good weekend. Friday night, before my stepson’s football game, we stopped to eat dinner at a restaurant I really like. I knew weigh in was the next morning, so while everyone else ordered hamburgers and fries and wraps, I got a small side salad and an unsweet tea. When the food was served, I joked, “Mmmmm! Diet food!”

My older stepdaughter asked me why I ordered diet food, and I told her I have gained some weight since the wedding and want to re-lose it. Without hesitation, she told me, “I think you are gorgeous.” How can I not love the kid? Ha ha.

Yesterday I had signed up for Spinning class after work. The closer it got to quitting time, the more convinced I was that I should just cancel class. I was so sleepy and worn out from the weekend. Just as I was about to go ahead and cancel class, I pictured going home, pigging out, and crashing on the couch. Is that what I really wanted? Well, technically, yes, that is exactly what I wanted to do. But as the day ended, did I want to know I accomplished a good workout, or a pig-out?

I went to class and got a great workout. But I am still fighting the urge to snack and eat all day long. What is up with that? Whether I’m hungry or not, all I want to do is eat, snack, nibble, graze, taste. It makes it very difficult to stick to my guns and stay on track. I’m not sure what to do about that.

I’d like to lose at least 2 pounds this week, so I need to stick to my workouts and not give in to these urges to eat everything in sight!