Just Do Something

I didn’t want to work out yesterday.  I wasn’t simply reluctant to work out, or a bit less than motivated to work out.  I flat-out, violently didn’t want to work out, and the very idea of it made me want to scream, curse, and throw my workout DVD’s into a raging pit of fire. 

I sat down and turned on the computer to play a workout DVD.  I turned it back off.  I turned it back on.  I got up and decided I needed to eat dinner first, even though eating first was a horrible idea. 

So I ate.  I came back.  I felt like I had eaten a bowling ball, since naturally I had eaten too much, and I can’t work out after a big meal, now can I?

Good lord, the stupid stuff that I do, then wonder why I am overweight!

In the end, I put on my sneakers, grit my teeth, and did a 30-minute workout.  I had finished a 1-mile walk during my lunch earlier, so I finished the day with 3 miles for my work wellness challenge.

I also finished the day wondering just what the hell is the matter with me.  I want to lose weight, I need to lose weight, so why am I standing in my own damn way, making certain that doesn’t happen? 

When I was done with my workout last night, I stormed into the living room, furious, at what, myself, the world, I don’t even know.  I started venting about not getting anything done that evening, and my husband said, “You got something done.  You worked out.”

Well, yes, he had a point there.  It was a major accomplishment, considering I was possessed by some sloth demon who decreed that I shall not exercise, so help me god.  I did it anyway.  I didn’t enjoy one single second of it, but I did it anyway.

I decided I need to back off the schedules, the weight charts, the mapped-out plans, just for a little while.  It’s doing nothing but frustrating me and making me feel like I’m not measuring up.  It’s not up for debate whether I work out or not, but doing a particular workout on a certain day, for a specified time frame…well, that’s not working for me right now.  Just move.  Just do something.  That is all I can give right now, and I need to work with that until I gain some traction and feel that spark again.

Author: Sweat & Sparkle

Metamorphosis: a change of the form or nature of a thing or person into a completely different one, by natural or supernatural means View all posts by Sweat & Sparkle