I really struggled yesterday. All I wanted to do was eat, pig out, binge. After getting excited about losing 38 pounds and realizing I am halfway to my goal, my jerk brain picked it up, twisted it, and cruelly gave me this to ponder instead: I am ONLY halfway there. Suddenly I felt like my goal is a million miles away again, and I felt so discouraged.
I hate the little mind games that make this so hard. I will get excited and feel proud of myself for fitting into clothes two sizes smaller than when I started, or being able to feel the difference in my body, then I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and feel disgusted. I’ve been working so hard to still have chubby cheeks and look like that?
Well, of course I still look overweight, because I am. I still have about 40 pounds to go. I hate that I let this get in my way and bring me down. I’ve worked 38 pounds off of this body! I want to focus on that, be proud of that, not tear myself down for the 40 pounds I still need to lose.
I hung in there and stayed under my calories yesterday, and I did a strength training workout and told myself that each workout shapes and strengthens my body to look awesome when I reach my goal. I am not there yet, and it shows. Nothing wrong with that. I am still working toward that goal. I still have 40 pounds to lose, and that shows too…and that’s okay too. Because I am working on it, making the changes I need to make.
Today my shoulders are sore from yesterday’s workout, and after work, my Insanity workout is waiting for me. I’m trying hard to focus on what I have accomplished, not on how far I still have to go.
Sweat & Sparkle 