I’ve said I was starting over before. Many times. I won’t pretend I haven’t failed at this several times, so many times I can’t even count. I’d like to leap around with sparklers and fireworks and cheer and rave about how this time is going to be different, but I’ve done it too many times already.
Does that mean I’m giving up? Hell no.
Over the last two weeks since my last post, I’ve wrestled and struggled about what I need to do differently to make sure I succeed this time. I went half-insane, deciding I would switch to a paper food diary, searching online for the perfect one, hunting down the magical exercise DVD set that would get me moving again, even eyeballing loud and colorful workout pants to spark some motivation again.
There’s nothing wrong with treating myself to new workout pants or trying a new workout, but I realized I was looking for motivation in things, objects, props. That isn’t going to work. I remember when I reached my goal weight, so many years ago. I was driven. I desperately wanted to lose the weight. I tracked everything. Back then, it was on paper, because I hadn’t discovered MyFitnessPal yet, but it wasn’t the tool for tracking that made the difference, it was the fact that I did it, every day, no excuses.
My workouts were non-negotiable. If I had something going on in the evening, I got up early and did my workout in the morning. I didn’t skip exercise because I was tired, or because I had a bad day, or because I “deserved” a break. I knew my workouts were crucial for my weight loss and muscle tone, so I did them.
Somewhere along the road, I slacked off and decided I could half-ass this and still expect results. Eight years later, I haven’t achieved those results, so obviously I was quite wrong.
If I don’t start making changes NOW, I will not reach my goal weight this year. It is heartbreaking to imagine finishing yet another year without the victory and pride and satisfaction of hitting my goal weight. I want to do this. I NEED to do this.
Maybe it just took me eight years to feel deep in my bones that I desperately want to lose this weight. Well, I’m there. But words alone aren’t going to accomplish anything.
I resolve to logging my food. I resolve to daily workouts (with rest days as needed, of course). I resolve to weekly weigh-ins. I resolve to blog more often to give and get the support so crucial to this journey.
I RESOLVE TO REACH MY GOAL WEIGHT THIS YEAR!
Sweat & Sparkle 