In what insidious, destructive, and wicked place do negative self-thoughts come from? Earlier this week, I was working out, working up a sweat, doing what I was supposed to be doing if I want to lose weight, when suddenly, out of absolutely nowhere, the self-defeating thought crossed my mind that I am so far from my goal weight, I may as well just give up because I am never going to get there.
What the…? Where did that even come from? And why? I tried to push it out of my head, but it kept circling back like a rabid dog, clamping down and snarling and viciously refusing to be shaken loose.
I told myself to knock it off. Yes, I have a long way to my goal, no denying that. But there is absolutely no reason I will never get there. The only thing that can stop me is me, and of course bullshit ideas like that one.
I’m not going to lose 60+ pounds from one workout. It’s not going to happen overnight. All I can control is what I am doing right now, today. I could control if I finished that workout, or if I let negative thoughts defeat me. I finished the workout.
I haven’t completely shaken the negative self-talk, though. All week I’ve struggled more than usual with my eating, and I think some of those seeds of doubt have taken root. I need to grab them in a tight fist and yank them out before they sprout any bigger.
Good news from this week: I ran 4 miles yesterday, and the other day, my fiance told me he can tell I’ve lost weight. Awesome! Hopefully this negative garbage in my head didn’t throw me off too much this week, and I will have another loss at weigh-in tomorrow.
Sweat & Sparkle 