Month: June 2016

Happy Second Half of the Year!

I had intended to write here more often, to stay accountable and to give and get support, and to stay in touch.  As you can see, that hasn’t worked out terribly well.  I feel like I am constantly running behind these days.  Every time I cross something off the to-do list, ten more items magically and infuriatingly appear to take their place.

I can’t believe tomorrow is July 1.  One half of this year is gone now.  Kaput, over, bye-bye.  It’s scary to realize I have pissed away six months.  AGAIN.  Am I really going to end this year still overweight, still unhappy about how I feel and how I look?

A 3-day weekend is a good time to do some thinking. What exactly do I need to get my act together? What has been missing the first six months of this year?  What needs to be different for the last six months?

Right now, I’m going to print my workout chart for July.  I didn’t reach my goal for June, but I wasn’t as inactive as my exercise ticker makes it appear.  I don’t count things like yard work in my exercise minutes, no matter how strenuous it is, so some days I got zero minutes but put in a lot of hard work and sweat.

Happy second half of the year!  What are you going to accomplish over the next half?

Happy the Way I Am?

My weight has ricocheted from damn near underweight to oh-my-god overweight while my fiance has known me.  I was over 200 pounds when he met me, and I got down to 125 or so briefly several years ago.  I’d love to be anywhere near that again!

My fiance has never said anything negative about my weight or my appearance.  Even when I criticize myself the harshest, he tells me he loves me just the way I am.  He has encouraged me when I was struggling, and he has dealt out tough love when I needed it, but has never insulted me or put me down or made me feel like I was not measuring up.

Not long ago, we were joking around and snuggling, and he had his arms around me and suddenly said, “I know it’s selfish, but I kind of wish you don’t lose a pound.”

I was stunned.  I thought he was only tolerating how I look, patiently waiting until I lose weight.  But he told me he likes my body the way it is now.  He quickly added, “But I want you to do what makes you happy.”

Of course I’m happy that he likes how I look.  Who wouldn’t be?  That’s a wonderful thing to hear.  I would be hurt if he told me he was not attracted to me.  But knowing he is happy with how I am now makes me think, well, why bother?  Why try to lose weight, then?

Well, no matter what, it’s not healthy for someone as short as I am to weigh as much as I do.  And I am not happy at this weight.  I’m glad he isn’t waiting for me to turn into a supermodel-skinny walking skeleton, but the cold, hard truth is, I still need to get some weight off for my own happiness and health.

I’ve slacked off a bit over the last week or two, and it’s time to get back on track.  It just so happened that I got a nice raise at work (yay!) while the kids were home, so we celebrated that, and I let the celebration turn into another day, then another.  Time to quit the partying and get back to working out! 🙂

Lazy Summer

I wish this was how my days are going!

Summertime is for slow, lazy days, lounging languidly on the beach, swinging gently in hammocks…yeah, right.  Summer has always been the busiest time of the year for me, since my company has the amazing intellect to schedule most of our biggest events in June and July. Thanks, work!

Last week was a non-stop blur of meetings and events, and since my boss says I am so good at organizing things, I get the dubious honor of planning and coordinating everything.  Again: thanks, work!

The kids are home with us for the week, and we celebrated Father’s Day together and had a great day.  The poor kids have listened to endless foaming-at-the-mouth rants and diatribes about how their father has the nerve, and has no right, to want to spend Father’s Day with them, courtesy of their womb-for-rent, Psycho, who clearly has multiple untreated issues.  I can’t even imagine what it’s like living day to day with that kind of insanity.

So things are going well, just extremely busy, and I get frustrated with the garbage the kids have to deal with just because Psycho can’t handle the fact that their father is happy now and isn’t interested in her or her drama.  From the sounds of  it, absolutely everything in her sad, pathetic life revolves around what my fiance and I are doing, and after ten years of this, it’s not only annoying, but disturbing: she obviously has no plan to ever get a life, not when she is so obsessed with ours.

Well, since she insists on staying on our asses, I suppose all I can do is extend to her an invitation to get comfy and keep gawking, because we intend to just keep on being happy while she keeps on being miserable!

Doing Nothing

I weighed in Saturday morning before heading to the garden center and prepping for a day of yard work: 206.4, a small gain of 0.2 pound from last week.  Hmmm.  I really wanted a 2 pound loss, not a gain of any kind, small or otherwise.

I worked out six out of seven days, so my issue is not exercise.  I already know my eating habits need improvement, and I’m sure the gain is due to drinking soda and snacking.  A little here and a little there won’t hurt, right?  Well, it all adds up, and this week was a perfect example of exercise not cancelling out bad eating habits.

Other than that, we had a great weekend.  I spent a sweaty, humid afternoon digging in the dirt on Saturday while my fiance mowed the lawn.  I planned to clean the house on Sunday, but he suggested that we just spend time together on Sunday and relax.  Relaxing is not something I do well!  I always have a to-do list, always have a mental checklist of things I need to get done.  But I figured, why not try it?

We slept in late, went out for breakfast (okay, brunch), then spent the rest of the day just enjoying the house and the yard and spending time together.  At one point I got up to trim the potted plants on the porch and water them, and he laughed and said “You don’t know how to just take a day off.”  That’s true, but I was trying.  I finished up and came back to snuggle with him and marvel at the wonder of just doing absolutely nothing.

Of course, we will make up for it today.  When I get home from Spinning class, we will need to clean the house and tackle everything we didn’t do yesterday.  But it was still definitely well worth it!

Weigh In and This Week’s Goals

After suffering through my first two crazy, insane, grueling kickboxing classes, I couldn’t help but think I better have a damn good loss this week!  I lost 3.2 pounds this week, down 5.4 total.  Not bad!

My stepkids were home over the weekend, and it was tempting to skip my workouts to spend more time with them.  But I hate the idea of using the kids as a reason to slack off.  There’s something so tacky about that.  So I headed off to the gym and fit in a workout each day.

My goals this week are: (1) log my food on MyFitnessPal at least 5 days; (2) work out each day at least 30 minutes; (3) keep cutting back on soda and drinking more water or unsweetened tea; and (4) lose 2 more pounds.

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