Has it really been two weeks since I’ve posted anything here? Nothing horrible has happened; I just lost track of time. A lot going on, not enough time to devote to everything.
This past Saturday’s weigh-in was a good one: down 2 more pounds. This week I need to stay on top of my game! I have no wiggle room. I have to weigh in a day early, Friday morning, since my boyfriend and I are going out of town. This is our first trip together, just the two of us, no kids, in over two years, so I’m looking forward to it. We hardly ever treat ourselves like this, so I intend to enjoy it to the hilt.
I have now lost 46 pounds, and I am proud of that. But this past weekend, when we took the kids to the fair, we had our picture taken all together. When I saw the picture, I felt so disappointed. I’ve lost 46 pounds, and I still look like that? I felt thin that day. I felt like I looked great. Then I saw that picture, saw how fat my arms look, my chipmunk cheeks, and I felt like a huge whale again.
It’s been hard to push past that disappointment. I rationalized with myself: look, I’ve lost 46 pounds, but I still have nearly 30 pounds to go. A person who is 30 pounds overweight is not going to look thin in a picture, no matter how much weight she has lost! So, I ‘ve come a long way, but I still have a long way to go. I’m not there yet. It’s not fair to expect myself to look skinny in pictures when I still have quite a bit of weight to lose.
I told myself I was being stupid about that picture. I need to just keep going, keep working hard, and 30 pounds from now, I will love how I look in pictures. I’m just not there yet.
Sweat & Sparkle 