Month: September 2015

Thirty Pounds Gone

My goal last week was to lose about 2.5 pounds to bring me down into the 170’s and to cross the 30-pound weight loss mark.  I worked out each day last week and logged my food in my food diary, then stepped expectantly onto the scale Saturday morning.

I lost 2 pounds and weighed in at 180.2.  My instant reaction was to groan and mutter “So close!” since I didn’t make it into the 170’s.  My brain leaped to reviewing the past week to pinpoint what I did wrong and what I needed to do differently.

I slammed on the brakes.  What was I doing?  I hadn’t done anything wrong!  I lost two pounds!  I ushered my inner critic out of the room and reminded myself to celebrate those two pounds and the fact that I am still losing weight.  The week was a success, period!  No analysis necessary.

And I still broke the 30-pound mark, anyway: 30.8, to be exact.

My stepkids were home this past weekend, and my youngest stepdaughter was in the room while I was working out.  She watched me struggle with the ab section of a Cathe Friedrich workout (if you know Cathe Friedrich, you know how tough her workouts can be).  My stepdaughter dropped whatever toy she was playing with, lay down on the floor beside me, and said encouragingly, “Look, I’ll do them with you”, then proceeded to finish the workout with me.

We moaned and groaned our way through planks and crunches and other torturous maneuevers, and she delighted in making me laugh, because it made it hard for me to breathe when my abs were already knotted up from the workout.  We high-fived when we miraculously made it to the cool-down and could finally collapse on the floor.

My goal this week: hit those 170’s!

Travel and Stress

I had another great weigh-in this past Saturday (down 3 more pounds to 185), and I have lost 26 pounds total.  I’m terrified I’m going to blow it this week though!  I have to travel for work, have to eat on the road, get thrown way off my schedule and routine, and have to attend a huge reception and dinner event loaded with food from beginning to end, complete with dessert.

Gah, I hate to travel, especially for work.  My plan is to work out at home before I leave for the trip to be absolutely certain my workout is done that day.  If I wait until I get to the hotel, forget it. Someone is going to call, someone is going to need me, and there go my workout plans.

I plan to eat on my own before the reception and dinner event.  First, I am working the event, so lord knows when I will be able to sit down to eat.  I don’t want to be starving and make bad decisions. Second, I already know the food at the event will be rich, loaded with sauces,and heavy.  I’d like to minimize or eliminate my intake of that.

I’m going to work out at the hotel the next morning, first thing, to make certain that workout gets completed too.  I’m also to pack meal bars and juice so I can eat breakfast on my own and not rely on greasy, heavy food at the hotel restaurant.  (They’re also already saved in my MyFitnessPal food diary!)

But I’m still nervous.  I know how easily I go off the rails, especially when I’m stressed out or rushed, and I’m guaranteed to be both until this event is over.  I really want another loss this week.  I don’t want to move backwards now.

Kids and Bad Habits

The kids didn’t look this bad last night, but pretty close!

I am a bit of a football nut (and even worse about hockey), so going straight from my younger stepson’s football game to watching my Steelers play on TV was a little piece of heaven for me last night.  My stepson’s team lost, pretty bad actually, but he got to play and did very well, so I loved it.

My stalker, Psycho, was there, with both of my stepdaughters.  Psycho seemed to be there mostly for the concession stand.  She even missed my stepson playing because she couldn’t resist yet another trip for nachos and soda.

What truly bothered me, though, was watching both of my stepdaughters do the same thing.  They were already munching on hot dogs when we got there.  Both of them trotted to the concession stand several times, for pickles and candy bars and soda and more nachos and bags of candy and then more soda.  Every time I looked at them, they were coming back from the concession stand with a fresh round of junk food.

I freely admit to liking soda and sweet things.  But there is no way in hell I’d have kept giving them the money to cram more junk into their bodies.  Seeing them display the exact same binge-like behavior was scary.  They honestly didn’t think anything of their non-stop eating.  Why would they? Their mother was doing it, encouraging it.

None of the kids is overweight, but they are out of shape, if that makes sense.  They get out of breath easily.  I remember being in constant motion as a kid, and I played sports in school.  Sitting in front of a TV or video game was out of the question.  Combine that with the kind of eating I observed last night, and it’s really just a matter of time before one of the kids has a real weight problem.

They are more active with us, since we go to the park or break out the football or soccer ball or go for walks, and sometimes they work out with me.  But they are only with us for so little time.  I’m not convinced we can offset the inactivity and bad eating habits they have already learned.

It reinforced me how direly the kids need a healthy role model in their lives.  I am ashamed I have not been that for them up to this point, but it is a huge motivator for me to kick this weight to the curb and show them what a strong, fit woman is.

Long Hair

The water company decided to start tearing up the street and digging and beeping their trucks and yelling and basically making a lot of noise late yesterday, until almost 11 PM.  I’m sure whatever they were doing was necessary for me to have the luxury of running water in my home, but their timing was terrible.  I had the alarm set for 5:20 this morning so I could hit the gym before work, since my boyfriend and I are heading to my younger stepson’s football game this evening.

(I really need to come up with nicknames and a cast of characters so I can stop saying “my boyfriend” or “my younger stepson” and just make it easier!  Keeping this blog anonymous makes for a lot of extra words.  Thanks, stalker.)

I ended up dragging myself out of bed this morning, and I ran for 45 minutes on the treadmill at the gym.  You’d think I’d get a longer workout after getting up that early, eh?  No, because a huge chunk of time is burned up just getting my hair ready for the gym.  Yep, you read that right.  My hair.

My hair is quite long, about to my waist.  And it loves nothing more than to tangle, get into knots, and chuckle with amusement at me trying to gently work all those twists and turns out without damaging my hair.  So I can’t just toss it into a quick ponytail or braid, especially for running.  Sweat works like glue and mats it all together into even bigger super-knots that tighten up like the face-hugger’s tentacles in Alien.  So I douse it with detangling spray, comb out all the knots, and twist it until I can make a bun at the back of my head.

I really considered staying in bed this morning.  It wasn’t my fault the water company was tearing up the neighborhood late last night, now was it?  But I have been on a good streak, exercising and logging my food and staying under my calories.  I didn’t want to break it now.  And it just so happens that the stepson we are seeing tonight is the one who mentioned that I have lost weight.  And if Psycho happens to notice as well, and burns with seething jealousy, well, all the better, my friends.  If she’s going to do all this stalking and watching me and following me around, I may as well give her something to talk about!

Shopping Trip

My weigh-in this past Saturday was great: down 3 more pounds, to 188.2.  I am finally out of the 190’s!  Now to focus on blasting through these 180’s to hit the 170’s.  If I focus on just the next 10 pounds, it doesn’t seem so overwhelming!

Having a 3-day weekend was a challenge.  Something about a day off makes me want to skip my workout, laze around, and eat (okay, that’s not much different than how I feel every day, ha ha).  I made myself go to the gym yesterday, and I ran on the treadmill with an incline to strengthen my legs.  I logged all my food on MyFitnessPal, which kept my eating in check.

I had to go shopping over the weekend for an outfit for my company’s big awards and anniversary event next week.  I hate shopping for clothes when I am this overweight.  Nothing is going to look good, and I know it!  I hate pawing through the racks looking for my size behind all the tiny 6’s and 8’s.

I found a nice pair of black pants and a pretty, royal blue top.  I promised myself that when I reach goal weight, I will come back to that store and enjoy browsing through the pretty, cute clothes in smaller sizes.  I will enjoy trying on nice clothes and seeing how great they look on me.  I may not have enjoyed this shopping trip, but I promise myself, even if it’s months and months from now, I will be able to go back and enjoy the next one!

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