Month: July 2015

Blech!

Our road trip earlier this week started off on a positive note: I got up early that morning to go running before we headed out.  I was determined to stick to my plan this trip.

Then my boyfriend and the kids decided they want to stop for breakfast, and where did we go? Waffle House!  Home of the greasiest food around, guaranteed to give you digestive troubles for days to come.  Everything was downhill from there.

Okay, it wasn’t all bad.  I worked out in the hotel room Tuesday morning and was very proud of myself. But after eating out for every meal for three days, at restaurants largely selected by three children, I ended up feeling sick to the stomach, heavy, and ready for a detox. We were also up very late each night, so a morning workout on Wednesday was impossible, and I still feel drained and exhausted.  I am disappointed in myself, but I was way off schedule and routine, and I didn’t have much control over that.

After work yesterday, I hit the gym for 30 minutes of running and 35 minutes on the elliptical.  It felt good to sweat it out and do something good for my body after cramming too much food, and not the healthiest of food, into it for three days.

I anticipate a gain at my weigh in tomorrow morning.  I feel irritated and angry: at my boyfriend, because how much harder would it have been to reserve a room at a hotel with a fitness room, and at myself, because I took the time to pack workout DVD’s and a food diary, then went off the rails anyway.

Either way, we’re home now, and I have one more day of eating better and working out before I weigh in tomorrow to assess the damage.

Five Miles

I headed to the gym last night for a run, since the 100+ heat index here means running outside is a big “hell no”.  Treadmill running is one of the most boring, mind-numbing activities on the planet, but for now, it’s my only sane option.

My longest run so far was 4 miles, so when I hit that  distance mark on the treadmill last night, I wanted to blow right past it.  When I hit 4.5 miles, I thought, only half a mile more to 5 miles.  Go for it!

I was struggling, so I slowed my speed and took off the incline for a bit (I read somewhere to never run on a completely flat treadmill, because running outside is not completely flat, and it’s supposed to be better for my knees to have a slight incline).  I kept eyeballing that distance display on the treadmill as it inched closer to 5 miles.  I willed it to move faster.  The instant it passed 5.0 miles, I hit “cool down” and more than happily slowed to a walk.

I felt really good about finally building up to 5 miles.  Last summer I was able to run 12 miles, but well, that was last summer.  I slacked off, I quit moving, I gained a ton of weight.  That was then, this is now, and I am making changes I need to make.

Non-Negotiable

I didn’t want to work out last night at all.  I was tired and just not in the mood.  I briefly contemplated just skipping it, but I quickly slapped that notion out of my head.  I wasn’t bleeding, nothing was broken, there was no real reason to skip my workout except I felt a bit lazy.  Letting my workouts be negotiable and “if I feel like it” is what led to me being so overweight in the first place.

I dug out my Les Mills Combat set and did the 45 minute workout.  I was dragging through parts of it, but when I finished, I was really glad I worked out instead of giving to bad habits that are hard to kill.

Yesterday I asked my boyfriend about the hotel for our trip next week.  He said it doesn’t have a fitness room.  *Gulp*. Okay, things just got more complicated.  Well, I can take our portable DVD player and some DVD’s that don’t require a lot of space to work out.  I don’t feel comfortable heading out for runs or walks in a neighborhood I know nothing about.

I am going to print a paper food diary as a back-up for those three days.  That way there is no excuse if I don’t have a signal to get on the MyFitnessPal app to log my food.  I want to log on MFP if I can, though, so I have the accountability of knowing others are going to see my food diary!

Ultimately the only thing I can do is decide to stick to my plan and then do it.  Fitness room or not, eating at home or eating out or at a relative’s home, it is going to come down to whether I want this enough to make smart choices or if I’m going to be stupid and fall back into the dumbass behavior that led me to being 80 pounds overweight in the first place.

On that note…on tap for tonight is some running at the gym!

I Need a Plan

How I felt after finishing Spinning
AND strength training last night!

Last week during my Monday night Spinning class, my instructor mentioned how she teaches Power Strength right after Spinning.  Perhaps dizzy from endorphins and light-headed from Spinning, I foolishly decided it would be a good idea to sign up for both classes this week.

Great idea, right?  Except the Spinning class’ theme was rolling hills, and my legs were shot by the time I climbed off that bike in a pool of sweat.  My instructor was excited I signed up for both classes, so I couldn’t sneak out without her knowing I wussed out.  Damn.  Off I went to strength training class…which is up two flights of stairs, I must add!

I survived, but barely.  I am glad I finished both classes, but it’s not something I would do again any time soon.  It was a lot, and I felt shaky during strength training because I was already fatigued.  But when class was over and I had completed not one, but two, classes, I felt like quite a beast.  Rooooarrr!

Here comes my dilemma: next week the kids are with us for a week, and my boyfriend wants to go away for a few days to visit his family a few hours away.  What’s the problem? Well, I suck at staying on track while I’m traveling.  Not all of my readers know this, but I got down to 148 pounds last summer, only 18 pounds away from my goal weight, and then I went out of town.  It’s like the interruption from my daily routine breaks the connection, warps the signal, throws me off the wagon, but I ended up coming home completely out of whack.  I’ll get back on track on Monday…or maybe next Monday…how about next month?  Before I knew it, I was over 200 pounds again.

I do NOT want to do that to myself again.  I am starting nowhere near 148 pounds, but I finally got myself into some consistency and have lost 10 pounds.   I don’t want to gain those 10 pounds back and feel like crap.

It’s all within my control, but that’s the thing.  I feel so out of control when I am traveling.  I am eating out, eating at relatives’ homes, trying to fit in workouts when I’d rather sleep in.  I will talk to my boyfriend about making a hotel reservation at a place with a gym.  It’s not even realistic to think I’ll get up and travel to a local gym in an area I don’t know very well.  I need to plan for this so I stay on track and enjoy the trip and come home proud of myself, not disgusted and disappointed.  Just because I have failed in the past doesn’t mean I can’t make this work!

Emotional Eating

Even with the best intentions, even with the best-laid plans, I am obviously not impervious to stress and aggravation and obstacles.  Yesterday I was helping with registration for our youth event this week for work.  Since the students come in from all over the state, we had some coming in by bus and some by plane.  One of the flights was delayed, so instead of leaving work at 5 like planned, I ended up being there until well after 6:30, and it was pushing 7 before I got home.

I had planned to go running after work, then do some paperwork for my boyfriend’s company. Instead, I found myself just hitting the door nearly two hours after I planned on being home, and I was ravenously hungry.  And grumpy.  And aggravated.

I’d like to say I overcame my emotions, went to work out, and ate sensibly, but well…I ended up griping to my boyfriend about work, then we went out to eat to a buffet.  I loaded up with lima beans (I looooove lima beans) but also had fried chicken and a few other items I would have been better off without. And no workout when we got home.

It could have been worse, but yeah, it could have been a lot better too.  I am disappointed and frustrated that I let stress get the best of me again.  It’s something I have been fighting my entire weight loss journey.  And when you have a devoted stalker like I do, stress is 100% guaranteed in life.  Yesterday’s aggravation was, for once, not set off by that walking bag of crazy, but I still need to get a grip and deal with stress better than this.

Today, no excuses, I am working out as soon as I get home from work.  Tomorrow is the luncheon I have been planning for this work event, so once that is over, I can breathe easier and hopefully have a calmer, more peaceful week next week!

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