Month: June 2015

Not Perfect, But Better

I started the week off with a Monday night Spinning class, and I put my inner geek on full display when the first song was Neil Diamond’s “Coming to America”!  I adore Neil Diamond, and I happily sang along.

My boyfriend and I went grocery shopping after my class, and since I hadn’t eaten yet, I started to feel woozy and ready to gnaw on a cardboard box.  The store had a Subway nearby, so we decided to duck in there before heading home.  I spotted the steak ‘n cheese sub on the menu, but I ordered the roasted chicken instead.  Problem was, I was so hungry, I ordered the 12 inch sub without thinking.

When I got it, I almost wanted to hand half of it back.  What was I thinking?  A 12 inch sub?  Double the calories?  Ugh.  But I ended up eating half and wrapping the rest up to take home, and I saved it for my lunch today.

That may not seem like a big deal, but not long ago, I would have hit McDonald’s drive-through on the way home and thought nothing of a huge value meal, size large, please.  Oh, and an apple pie.

Today at work I had my performance review, and it went really well.  I got a nice raise, which I am very excited about!  My first thought was going out to dinner to celebrate, but eating out is such a trigger for me.  I don’t want it to kick off bad eating the rest of the week.  I might wait until after weigh in on Saturday!

Half Marathon

This past week, my stepkids were home for the week as part of their summer time with their dad.  I knew the kids being home was going to be a challenge.  Their dad cooks more when the kids are home, and we’re talking fried this and battered that and everything dipped in Ranch dressing!  Time goes by so much faster too, partly because we have precious little time together before they go back to Psycho and I go back to worrying about them.  The only time I am 100% certain they are safe is when they are with us.

I scheduled my workouts and stuck to them.  I fit in all three runs for my 5K schedule!  So I knew I did well on the workout front but was worried about my eating.  I expected a small loss at best.

On Saturday, I weighed in and was so surprised when I saw 205.  That’s 3.6 pounds down from last week!  Yesssss!  Talk about motivation.  Let’s keep this going!

I was also excited this past week because during run #3 for the week for the 5K training schedule, I hit 2.5 miles, the most I’ve run this go-round, and decided to see if I could hit 3 miles.  I did it!  So I’ve already met the 5K goal for the 8-week program, and I am only in week #3.

I got so excited about it, I looked up the half-marathon information online.  It’s in November.  That is about four and a half months to go from 3 miles to 13.1.  Is that possible?  Is that realistic?  I would really like to aim for that, but I don’t want to disappoint myself by not being able to finish.  There’s another half marathon here in February, and my conservative side says to wait for that one and give myself more time to train for it.  Opinions?

Spinning and Running

Morning workouts are a struggle for me.  I don’t sleep very well, so getting out of bed and having energy for a regular day is hard enough, let alone having the energy for a workout.  I set the alarm last night for my 6 AM Spinning class with the best of intentions, but when that alarm went off this morning, I instantly started making excuses why I should stay in bed.  It’s too early.  I’m tired.  I can work out after work.  Mmmmm, pillow!

The Spinning class is pretty small, so you have to sign up ahead of time.  I hid under the covers and seriously considered going back to sleep, but I thought about the fact that signing up for class took a spot from someone who may have wanted to be there but couldn’t.  I would be a jerk to take that spot and then not show up.  Plus, my Spinning teacher is the one who prayed for me the other day.  Was I really going to let her down?

I reluctantly tossed back the covers and got up.  I can’t say I felt excited or eager to get sweating, but I got dressed and grabbed my water bottle and gel seat (one of the greatest inventions ever) and headed out in the dark.

I felt a bit sluggish during class, but I still got a great workout.  I left feeling very proud of myself and happy that my workout for the day was done already.  If I had reset the alarm and skipped class, I’d have felt more than a little disappointed in myself.

Yesterday I hit the treadmill for my 1.75 run to stick to my 5K training schedule.  At first I felt like crap and wasn’t sure I was going to make it.  At some point my body stopped fighting the workout, or my head stopped fighting itself, not sure which, but I made it to 2.5 miles!

When I came home and told my boyfriend and the kids that I did 2.5 miles, my boyfriend congratulated me, and then I turned it into a math problem for my 9-year-old stepdaughter, and she figured out how many extra miles I did.  I showed her how to break down a mile into quarters and how to work with decimals.  She came to me later with a notebook and gave me some math problems: “If I was supposed to run 7.6 miles, and I ran 8.9, how much extra did I do?”  I loved that she got into the running and the math!  I was more proud of that than my run.

Thank You!

After getting back into a workout groove this week, I have hit a brick wall in the form of my work schedule: I worked both jobs yesterday, again today, and long shifts on both Saturday and Sunday.  I set the alarm for 5:30 yesterday morning with the intention of fitting in a morning workout, but let’s just say that sleep deprived and stressed out don’t add up to feeling up to morning workouts!  I didn’t even bother pretending I’d work out this morning.

Now, all weekend, I need to shove a workout into what little time I have, after working a full shift and being undoubtedly exhausted when I get home, with my stepkids home and naturally wanting to spend time with them.  Sounds fun!

On top of it all, I woke up today with an upset stomach that hasn’t gotten any better yet.  My boyfriend asked me to have lunch with him today, and I feel like I have hardly seen him this week, we have both been working so much.  So I am going, even if I have to sip chicken broth to keep anything down.

Tomorrow morning is weigh in, and I hope the workouts I fit in earlier this week help me have a loss this week.  I feel like I have been eating better.  Not perfect, but better, more aware of what I am putting into my mouth.

I didn’t want to end this post without thanking every one of you who have taken the time to read my nonsense and to leave such supportive, uplifting comments.  They really do mean a lot to me.  Thank you so much!

Prayer

Despite my mother’s best efforts and intentions, I have not voluntarily stepped into a church in years. That doesn’t mean I am not spiritual.  I pray every morning, something that might surprise many people who know me in real life.  My praying consists mostly of questions and conversations instead of the traditional kneeling, hands-folded praying, but it’s what works for me.

A church not far from me started offering fitness classes, and I was apprehensive at first, worried they would preach and stuff Bible verses down my throat at every opportunity, but I’ve been pleasantly surprised.  I love the positive, supportive atmosphere, and the instructors are great.  Last night I went to Spinning class, and the instructor is the woman who is going to be leading the half-marathon training group in August.

I ended up being the only student who showed up for class last night, so there was no slacking off, that’s for sure!  My legs were burning.  I was the only student she had to focus on, so she watched my form and my speed and yelled out encouragement to keep me going.  It was an awesome workout.

After class, she asked me, “Can I pray for you?” Well, we were technically in a church (okay, the activities building beside the church, but on church property nonetheless), so I said okay.  She bowed her head and thanked God for me being there that night, for deciding to take a journey to better health, and for me to have the strength to focus on the future and not on past stumbles.  There was more, but I can’t put it as eloquently as she said it.

I was very touched by it.  Here was a very busy woman, who needed to head out to teach another class, and who has many, many students to keep track of and to train and to motivate, and here she was, taking the time to pray for me and encourage me and give me a lift I really needed.  Maybe there really was a reason that I was the only one who went to class last night.  Maybe it was pure coincidence.  Either way, I am glad I was there and that she took the time to do that.  It meant an incredible amount to me.

How can I keep abusing my body when she prayed for me, for goodness sake?  How do I brush off workouts and eat like a pig, when it would completely disrespect what she did for me?

I don’t know if I can explain why it meant so much to me or how I felt as I listened to her prayer or as I left the building, feeling like I have a true ally, someone who cares if I succeed or fail.

That sounds like I am crapping all over my boyfriend, but I don’t mean that he is not supportive.  I think he has just seen me yo-yo, go up and go down, start then stop, so many times, he doesn’t invest much in the process anymore.  I don’t blame him.  I was over 200 pounds when we met nine years ago.  Nearly a decade is a long time for a man to be my weight loss cheerleader!

I hung my 5K training schedule on the wall above my desk at home, and I am crossing off my workouts as I go.  So far, so good!  I don’t want to let anyone down, including myself.

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